IF ONLY I HAD WAITED
©️Ojo Rhoda Ayanfeoluwa.
It was as if my world crumbled when mum gave up the ghost.
I visited her because I wanted to make my way right before her. I went there because I wanted to reconcile with her because I was 100% sure that my action made her broken.
I thought she wouldn’t forgive me for what I did to her. I thought she was going to throw stones at me for allowing her to pass through hell because I broke her heart by running away. I thought she was going to be mad at me.
I was wrong.
I was welcomed with the greatest shock in my life that I couldn’t overcome. So, she was never broken by my action. She even had the gut to marry my enemy.
When I thought that was enough, the beast killed her. Right in my presence.
Mr. Juwon took to his heels. He ran away immediately he noticed that mum was unconscious.
I couldn’t forgive myself for allowing all these to happen. Well, I think the whole blame should be on mum. How could she collect huge amount of money because she wanted to sell her daughter out to a beast all in the name of marriage. How could she consider money at the expense of her daughter’s joy and happiness?” I asked no one in particular.
To cut the whole long story short, my elder sisters traveled down to attend my mother’s funeral ceremony.
One of my sisters made me to understand that she tried all she could do to prevent mum from getting married to him but, all fell on deaf ears. The beast called Mr. Juwon, separated my sisters from mum. He ordered mum not to call any of them. He warned her not to allow any of them to come to the house.
It was as if mum was hypnotized. Mum was such a woman that doesn’t joke with our welfare. How she started running after money was something too difficult for us to understand.
We became orphans. No father, no mother.
I traveled back to Abuja after some days.
I explained everything to my friend’s aunty. She really felt for me. She filled the vacuum my mum left.
I fell in love with a guy when I was in 200level. He was the perfect man for my life.
I told aunty about him. She told me to pray about it. I wasn’t interested in praying about it. I saw him as the best man for my life. Besides, he was a spirit filled man. He is one of the “spirikokos” on campus.
My simple answer has always been “yes, he is fine” Whenever aunty ask about him from me, She asked if I had prayed about him. I told her “yes, I am convinced he is the one.”
For saying “yes, I’m convinced he is the one.” Aunty stopped bothering me about him.
Relationship between us waxed so strong. Bidemi was my all in all. He was deeply in love with me. I was also madly in love with him.
I could vividly remember one day I begged him to sleep with me. The sexual urge was something I couldn’t resist. I wanted him to touch me. I tried all I could to seduce him but, he turned me down. He begged me not to push him into trouble. He said how could he do such a great wickedness to God just like what Joseph said in the Bible.
I felt like a piece of trash. It was as if I was valueless. I became timid.
After some weeks, he spoke to me over the matter and told me he was a man who believes in sexual purity.
Despite that, our love for each other was still intact.
After some years, we graduated from the University. We finally settled down in marriage.
I married as a virgin. He was also a virgin.
After two years of being his legal wife, I didn’t give him a child. It was as if I was barren.
Bidemi encouraged me not to think about it that at God’s appointed time, children will come. I believed what He said. I believed in what God has said concerning me. I was hopeful that one day, children will surround my table.
My mother-in-law became a thorn in my flesh. She made life miserable for me.
To be continued.
Ojo Rhoda Ayanfeoluwa