Episode 2
“What is going on here and who are these people making noise in my apartment?” the wife asked as she approached them.
“Honey, who are they and what do they want?” she channeled the question to her husband who by this time understood clearly what Jesus meant when he said “it is over”.
“So this is she. Alphonsus this is the woman that made you run away from your daughter and this unborn child. You are wicked. You are a devil.” the pregnant lady fired but on a low key.
“Honey, I am going to ask for the last time and I want an answer. Who is this thing and what does she want?” the wife asked in a very calm but demeaning voice.
One thing about beautiful women is the fact that their anger is even more beautiful than they appear. They can insult you beautifully. But behind the beautiful anger lies a deadly venom.
My neighbor’s wife should not have referred to the pregnant lady as a “thing”, based on the fact that some women are naturally aggressive when pregnant.
Referring to her as a thing did not go down well with her so she threw a slap capable of blinding a human at Mrs. Alphonsus. But the husband was fast enough to stop her hand mid-air from landing on his wife’s face.
“How dare you attempt to hit my wife? Try that nonsense next time and you will see the stuff I am made of.” the husband took his stand with eyes widely opened, revealing his inner ugliness.
Ceasing the pregnant lady’s hand triggered her mother who was silence all the while. In fact, it appeared as if she was benched for 2nd half or in case of any injury. She was there for a backup and yes, she stepped up.
“What? You wan beat my daughter when I am alive?” the mother started as she romoved her wig revealing her pure white wooly hair. Indeed, “there is beauty in gray-headedness”, says the Holy Scripture.
“Dem no born you well,” the woman continued as she removed her slippers. “I go let you know say dem no dey call me Calabar witch for notin. You come Bayelsa. I give you house to stay for free. I give you food to eat for free. For 2 years I no ask you shishi . But no be me give you my daughter ooo. Na tif you tif ahm. You tif my daughter behind my back. Belle come come. But you get luck say you no try to deny ahm. She come born. No be you name the pikin Miracle? Ok. As Miracle reach 8 months, you come give ahm belle again and run away. Dey thank God ooo. Because I been wan kee you but my daughter no gree. You run come hide for here. See, nobody fit hide from me, lai lai. I dey see anytin I wan see, at any time. Na me chose wen to come meet you for here. You see this my pikin? The belle don reach 9 months and na for your hand she go deliver.”
She paused and threw her eyes around looking for the said Miracle.”Miracle! Oya go meet your father,” she pushed the little girl towards the father.
“Hey! Hey! Hey! If you come any closer, I will chop off your head with my bare hands. Are you people ma*d or something?” Mrs. Alphonsus threatened the little girl who immediately began to cry and headed back to the mother.
“Alphonsus, warn your wife. No be her mata carry me come here. But if she wan make I change ahm for ahm, I dey ready. Na me be the only Calabar witch for the whole of Bayelsa, go and ask. If she try to enter my talk again, this compound no go contain all of us. In fact everybody go run comot for this compound.”
That was where I picked interest. I can never run away from this compound because of what I know nothing about. So I got up, dropped my unused nail-cutter and moved to them.
“Madam, there is no need making people run away from this compound. I think we can settle this peacefully. My neighbor is a good person. He knows how to handle this. Make una calm down.” I addressed the old woman respectfully.
My neighbour’s wife has been having a running battle with me ever since I caught her the second time in a hotel with another man.
So ever since that time, everything I say and do irritates her.
© Ezekiel Umoren
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