Hell on Earth 6 (end)
(based on a true story)
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Shantel was my god and every word she said was the law. I did all she wanted without asking questions but that particular one wasn’t easy for me to accept. I knew what murder was and I had heard stories about murderers. My mother used to tell us that whoever murders another would never know peace in this world and beyond.
She said the greatest sin there was was taking the life of another human being and the punishment was the harshest. I also knew that the law frowns at murder more than any other crime. I told Shantel there should be other ways for me to leave the marriage other than killing my husband, but she insisted that was the only way.
She said that if I leave the marriage with my husband still alive, he would find me wherever I run to, bring me back and punish me. She said that if I ever dreamed of living free and happy, killing my husband was the only way. When she saw that I wasn’t going to agree to her plan instantly, she said I should take one week to think about it and decide. That was the last time I saw her.
Meanwhile, three days after I had the conversation with Shantel, my husband returned. He was enraged when he found out that I was out of the store and well. That was the first time I saw him hit any of his children. When he discovered it was my stepdaughter who released me from his prison, he hit her multiple times while cussing.
It was then I realized that he actually meant for me to die in the store as he threatened. The rage I saw in his eyes and countenance was nothing like I had witnessed before. I knew he would kill me instantly if I allow him catch me, so I ran out of the house. I didn’t have any destination in mind but I knew that any other place was safer than staying in the house.
For a moment, I thought of running back to my parents but the fear of them learning I aborted my husband’s child wouldn’t allow me. I knew they would be disappointed and they would readily hand me over to my husband if he comes looking for me. At that moment, I missed Shantel and her super ideas. I knew she would have kept me safe if she was there. She was my god.
It was getting dark and I didn’t know what to do. I knew not many people in the area because I wasn’t always allowed out of my prison. The only person I knew was the woman who helped me when I had my ‘abomination’ and I went to her house. At first, she didn’t want to let me in. But when I begged and told her about my situation, she opened the gate and said I could only spend the night in her house.
She gave me food, shelter and care. Through the night, I told her all that had happened leaving out the part where I slept with Shantel. I knew it sounded worse than an abomination and no one would understand that Shantel was the only reason I hadn’t ended my life. She blamed me for terminating the pregnancy and said I should confess my sins to God and ask for his forgiveness.
She also advised that I should go to my husband, beg for his forgiveness and promise never to do something of that nature again. When I told her I was afraid my husband wouldn’t listen, she promised to go with me. I wasn’t entirely convinced my husband would listen to me, but I believed her presence would make things easier. The next morning, we went to my husband.
We met him apologizing and petting his daughter who seemed to be angry about something. When he saw us, he frowned and stood up. The woman went on her knees immediately and I followed. That was unexpected. The woman was way older than my husband, yet there she was kneeling before him. She begged my husband to forgive me citing that I had realized my wrongdoings and I was remorseful about them.
It didn’t take long for my husband to accept our confession and apologies, and that made me wonder. He told the woman that he had forgiven me and asked me to go inside the house. I knew that was a charade and I was skeptical. I was reluctant to do as he said but the woman urged me. My husband thanked the woman for showing concern and she left.
Immediately the woman left, my husband rushed into the house and grabbed me. He hit me repeatedly saying I was a fool for thinking he would let me off so easily after I killed his child. He tied me up and threw me into the prison again. He promised to make my life a living hell as if I hadn’t lived in hell long enough. He left the house and came back in the evening with two ugly looking men. They looked so haggard and unkempt.
When my husband brought me into the sitting room where the men were, they were smoking Indian hemp. My stepdaughter was making food for them in the kitchen. Then I heard my husband telling them to make sure I wouldn’t be able to walk afterwards. I didn’t know what he was saying until the men grabbed me. They tore off my cloths, pinned me to the ground and took multiple turns in raping me while my husband watched.
They were brutal, violent and ruthless. My whole body was on fire but I couldn’t do anything to save myself. I couldn’t even scream as they held my mouth. Death was better than the pain I felt. My stepdaughter ran out of the kitchen and begged her father to tell the men to stop. Her father ignored her. She came to fight the men and they pushed her aside. While she cried and struggled to free me from the men, I passed out.
When I regained consciousness, it was early in the morning and I was sprawling on the floor of the passage. My vagina was practically torn in places and there were dried patches of blood on my thighs and legs. I had no strength in me. I wished I never regained consciousness ever again. That would have spared me the pains I felt. I dragged myself to the sitting room and no one was there. I saw my cloths lying on the floor.
At that moment, I was sure I was going to die but one thought kept ringing in my head. I didn’t need Shantel to convince me at that point. I knew killing my husband was the reason I was created. At that point, I was sure that saving humanity from the cruelty of my husband was my purpose on earth. It became clearer to me. I dragged myself to the kitchen and got a knife.
I went to ‘our’ bedroom and found my husband naked in bed with a woman beside him. They were wasted in sleep. I was using my last reserved strength. I went beside him, lifted the knife as high as my hands could go and landed it in his throat with all the energy I had left. He couldn’t even scream. The lady beside him jumped up and screamed. Then I became dizzy and slumped.
I woke up in a hospital with my hand chained to the bed. I went to prison afterwards for manslaughter. My stepdaughter testified that I acted in self-defense and murder was ruled out. Going to prison was the best thing that ever happened to me. There, I met people and groups who helped reformed my life. I came out better and more equipped to live and face the world. I have forgiven my parents but the scars of what they put me through will remain forever.
But in all, I am better and living. Glory be to God.
Dear parents, you are the god your children see. The fear of disappointing you can make them do awful things that may haunt them forever. Do not make the standards too steep and correct them with love. I am a living witness to what that fear can cause. May God help us to guide our children accordingly. Amen.
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TOCHUKWU ANOZIE
