LOST
Episode Six
I could sense my mom’s presence in the room because I felt ghost bumps all over me.
I felt like my mom was trying to talk to me, giving me directions because I was completely lost on the surface of the earth.
My world was crumbling, and everyone I ever loved kept leaving me like they never even wanted me.
I told mom to run away far, but I felt betrāyed that she had to listen in a bad way by going far away forever without considering how I would feel.
She didn’t even fight to stay safe for me.
She could have avoided dad when she had the chance.
All these thoughts kept running through my mind, and I couldn’t sleep.
I just wanted to shut myself out of the world for a while before finally waking up to reality.
My father and stepmom were my reality, eagerly waiting for me to open my eyes.
I tossed myself on the bed, unable to close my eyes without remembering what happened that day when dad bėāt mom to deāth.
It felt like a dream. Why didn’t she call for help? I kept asking myself.
Even if she did, the neighbors wouldn’t have come to her aid because, just like me, they were tired of separating their numerous fìghts.
Days didn’t go by without them fighting.
Dad was always the one starting trouble because he felt he was stronger and could hit her the way he liked.
Days passed, and school had resumed for the term, but there was no news about my education.
Dad kept showering my stepmom with gifts without even asking if she had eaten. I kept asking myself if he would hate his own daughter.
Maybe because he wasn’t the one who pushed me out, he knew nothing about the pains of childbirth.
That’s why anything about me didn’t bother him at all.
I was forcėd to ask about my school.
One day, when he came back from work as usual, I waited for him to settle down, and then I walked up to him to ask the question.
“Please dad, am I still going to school?” The response I got was not what I expected.
At least if he had asked me to attend a government school, it would have been better.
He said, “Catherine, I don’t have any money in this house.
If you want to continue with your academics, you need to find a way of making money.
Do something with your hands.
You can start hawking on the road or selling on the roadside.
I can’t keep wasting my money on you.”
I had to confirm if that was really coming from my dad.
I asked him, “Dad, you mean I should hawk on the road?”
His response shook me, “Are you the only child that hawks on the road?
You better ask me what you will sell if you want to continue with your studies, or better still, you can drop out and learn a trade.
Just pick one and let me know tomorrow, that is if you value your education.”
I placed my two hands on my head.
At first, I thought Dad wasn’t serious because he was smiling while he said it.
But when his eyebrows were raised, his expression changed, and he raised his voice, I knew he was very serious.
I had to rush back to my room to think about what will become of me.
From my parents taking me to school every morning and back from school with expensive cars, to hawking on the road.
I didn’t even know what he would give me to hawk.
I knew my stepmother was the brain behind everything.
I heard her say one morning that I was turning eighteen and I needed to do something with my life other than just wasting money going to school.
Although Dad didn’t say anything about it, I knew he agreed with everything my stepmom said.
He did everything she wanted without considering whether it was good or bad. I
wouldn’t be surprised if she just tells my father to send me away from the house one day because it was clear she didn’t like me a bit.
I know I was still in that house out of the guilt.
Dad felt from kiłłing my mom, and he was scared I would expose him.
I couldn’t even tell anyone what happened that night, except the neighbors who already knew about it.
I wouldn’t want to join my mom in the grave at a tender age.
Besides, I promised my mom that I would complete my education and come out with good grades.
Fulfilling that promise was the least I could do for her.
After Dad said that to me, I felt like he would just come and say, “Catherine, it was all a joke.
I cannot allow you to hawk on the road.”
I even imagined it to be a dream, so I pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.
But I felt pain from the pinch, so I knew it wasn’t a dream.
I sat and thought about everything and even tried to picture what I would sell. Then I slept on it.
In the morning, when Dad went to work, I went to him and said,
“I’ve thought it over, and if hawking is the only way I can continue my studies, I’ll do it.
I didn’t have a choice anyways.”
He smiled at me and said, “Now you’re talking.
I’ll tell you what you’ll sell when I speak with my wife tonight.”
Then he left, shutting the door in my face.
Thessycute Ekene
