My journey as a single mother episode 23

MY JOURNEY AS A SINGLE MOTHER.

Part 23.

By Authoress Rhoda.

I made up my mind not to marry a rapist. Well to me, no matter how much I tried to forgive him, I viewed him as a rapist. Remember first impression lasts longer.

To me, he was a rapist, but before God, he might be His son.

I just couldn’t bring myself. I mean I couldn’t just imagine being married to someone like him.

I finished serving my country and I got a job immediately. I rented an apartment and took my children. I told my mum I was ready to take care of my children.

Leaving them behind during my service year was something I wasn’t happy about. I wish they were there with me, because they have always been my joy.

Yes, I was intentional about being a good mother to my children since they had no father with them.

Many times, Gbolahan had always wanted to be near them. I only allowed him to have access to them just once. I tried all I could to discourage him from seeing them. In fact, I really threatened that guy. I told him never to step his foot near my abode again.

In fact, the only time I allowed him to see them, I didn’t introduce him to them as their father.

I was ready to single-handedly cater for them rather than marrying Gbolahan, their father.

Many men crossed my path. I had a lot of suitors, but they immediately backed out when they heard that I was a mother of two.

Age wasn’t on my side. I wasn’t getting younger. I went into depression for months when many men broke my heart due to the fact that I was a single mother.

Since no child of God was ready to marry me, I decided to find my way. I left God. I sought for help from people who couldn’t help me.

I began to date unbelievers. In fact, my past was hidden from them. I told lies to cover up my past whenever they ask.

The moment one of them got to know that I was a single mother, he really showed his displeasure by beating me mercilessly. He couldn’t thank his head enough for saving him from another man’s responsibilities.

He was so happy he knew about my past before tieing the knot with me.

The day he finally broke up with me, it was as if I was going to die, because we were fully ready to marry.

Another man picked interest in me. I made up my mind to reveal my past to him.

I expected him to leave me just like others did, but he didn’t. He sticked to me. He was ready to marry me not as his first wife, but as his third wife.

Desperation to settle down in marriage made me to consider him. I told my parents about it, they were really displeased. They were highly disappointed in me for wanting to take such a decision in life.

“Please, mummy and daddy, my joy should be your main priority. I graduated 6 years ago. Ever since I graduated, there has been no man in my life to call my husband. For how long will I remain single?

Esther is married and in fact she has given birth to 3 children. She even told me that she is done with childbearing. She is really enjoying her marriage. Here I am, no man to show forth. “I said in tears.

” Hear yourself. You said Esther is enjoying her marriage. How sure are you that if you marry a married man with two wives, you will enjoy your marriage? How sure are you that your lover’s wives won’t plot evil against you for snatching their man away from their hands?

We aren’t getting young in life. It is our delight to see you, our daughter, basking in the joy of God, enjoying marriage to its fullest. We are not desperate for you to marry. Or am I mounting marital pressure on you? ” My dad asked.

I said ” no! ”

I decided to keep quiet, but I was determined to marry that man in order to become a Mrs. just like my friends.

I kept on dating the married man. He made life so easy for me. He really took care of me, but I just couldn’t withstand or bear the way he handled my children.

He really dealth mercilessly with them at any slight provocation. He wasn’t treating them like his own children.

I just couldn’t withstand their tears. Seeing them cry do make my heart to shatter.

I called the relationship a quit, because my children are my future. My children were innocent when they came to this world. I must not make them question their existence.

I decided to forget about marriage. I focused more on my career and my children. Although to some extent, I had no time for them because of my busy schedules at work.

I reached out to millions of people who were about to enter my shoes. God really used my life to touch millions of people, because I just can’t imagine the number of lives that would have been wasted just because of abortion.

Although, taking care of the children by myself wasn’t an easy task for me. Two people responsibilities became mine alone, but I was determined to put them first in all I did.

I didn’t want them to end up with a step-father that would make life miserable for them.

Gbolahan wasn’t married. I guess he encountered a lot of break-ups.

Esther called me one day to remind me of Gbolahan and what her mother once said.

Well, I prayed about him some years ago and God even made it known to me that he was the man meant for me, but I just couldn’t imagine being his wife.

I had a lot of confirmations, but getting married to a rapist was a big “no” to me.

I made up my mind to remain single forever, until I was involved in a fatal accident.

I was taken to the hospital. My parents and Esther were present. I didn’t know that Gbolahan heard about the incidence.

He paid me a visit.

Well, he narrated everything that ever happened to my parents. They didn’t criticize him because they were once guilty for sending me out of the house.

“I believe all things work together for good to them that love God. I believe God allowed all these to happen. I believe He has a reason for this.” My dad said.

I was listening, although I did as if I didn’t hear anything.

“Why don’t you marry my daughter. So that the children can have you as their father. You know, it is going to be very hard for another man to love your children. I wish the two of you can marry each other.” My dad said.

“Sir, I knew God was leading me to her. I really love her, but she has been turning me down.

I tried all I could do to convince her that I’m a changed person, yet, it seems she hasn’t forgiven me from the bottom of her heart.

In fact, she has been denying me access to my children.

I decided to let her be and wish her well in life. I have met with many ladies, yet they weren’t meant for me. They couldn’t perfectly suit me. I believe she is meant for me.

Well, even if it means remaining single for years till I get a woman that will marry me, I don’t mind.

Let me just see everything happening to me as a punishment for what I did in the past. Let me believe I am reaping what I sow.” He said, trying to prevent tears from flowing.

My heart melted. I felt like hugging him and telling him “I love you. I have forgiven you from the depth of my heart. I want to be your wife.”

But, I refrained myself.

My parents left me in the hospital to attend to some things. Gbolahan and Esther were outside discussing something I couldn’t fathom.

After some hours, Esther told me she wanted to take her leave. She kissed me and left.

After some minutes, Gbolahan entered the room.

“Sister Bisi, I hope you are getting better. Please, get well soon.” He said.

“Gbolahan, are you leaving me here too?” I asked immediately.

“I think I have to. I just came here to check on you when Esther placed a call across to me that you were hospitalized.” He said, trying to avoid my eyes.

I told him he could take his leave since he wanted to leave.

The moment he left, I broke down in tears. I wish he was still there with me. I knew he love me genuinely, but I was the one making things complicated.

” Bisi, if you don’t marry Gbolahan who has been ordained to be your husband in order to fulfill your destiny in life, be rest assured that Gbolahan will be married to another woman who will make him more fulfilled in life.”

I just couldn’t imagine Gbolahan being married to another woman. I didn’t want to lose him anymore.

” Lord, I am so sorry for striving with you. I am now ready to do your will. I don’t want to be a stubborn daughter. I believe you know what my future holds more than I know. Father, take the wheel of my life. Lead me as you like. Mould my life as you like. Take over, daddy.” I cried to God.

That evening, he came back to check on me.

Despite the fact that I was in pain, I knelt down before him and apologized for all I made him to pass through. I told him I was ready to be his wife.

I expected him to be happy, but he wasn’t. He didn’t say anything.

“Gbolahan, I want to be your wife.”I said.

” What if I have gotten a wife?” He asked.

I almost passed out when he said ” wife.” I thought he said he had gotten a wife.

I became silent. I was unhappy. I began to cry.

” I have missed it! ” I shouted.

I stood up and was ready to go back to my initial position. As I was about to take a step, he drew me back.

” Bisi, I love you. I promise to cherish you. I promise to be the best husband to you and best father to our children. I promise to always stand by you. Will you marry me?” He asked.

My joy knew no bound. I gave him a positive response.

My parents were delighted. Esther was on top of the world. I was in another realm of love.

My children were happy when I announced to them that their father was coming for them.

Immediately Gbolahan showed up again in my house, this time as their father, they bonded together.

Wedding date was fixed.

I later ended up with Gbolahan. I thought he was a rapist, but I am so glad I married him.

If I am to come to this world again, I will choose Gbolahan over and over again.

He has always been the best man I can ever ask of. He has been the best father to our children. He has been my support system, my counselor, my motivator. He has been everything to me.

I’m so glad I married him.

“Hmmm!” Being a single mother before Gbolahan came into my life was not easy. I was lucky to get married. There are many women today who have vowed never to marry again.

I understand the fact that you are determined to raise your children by yourself. Nevertheless, sometimes, being a single mother comes with some things. Some get mocked. Some get stigmatized. Some are still finding it hard to forgive the father of their children. Some are depressed.

Nevertheless, your children must be your sole priority. Make them feel important to you. Make them comfortable. Don’t ever transfer aggressions on them as a result of your past.

You are the only one they have. So, stand by them. Be there for them. Invest in them and very soon, you will definitely reap the fruits of your labour over them. Yes, they will definitely make you proud.

Don’t forget to show them Christ.

THE END.

****

Sometimes, all you just need to do is to leave your life into the hands of your maker. Yes, He knows better than you know. He has great plans for your life. That is why sometimes, you are passing through challenges of life because of a reason well known to God.

You may not understand why you are passing through hell right now, but God understands. As long as you are His child, definitely, all those challenges will work together for your good.

So, trust your life into His hands, because God can never fail you. He can never let you down.

Are you yet to discover your purpose in life? Are you still battling with masturrbation and p0rrnography? Are you still battling with low self esteem? Are you struggling to grow in Christ? Are you questioning God for being unmarried?

Well, I have a solution for you. My book “My God, when?” was specifically written to reveal answers to those questions. I am sure you will never read that book and remain the same. To get your copy for 1k, chat me up on +234 8144145800

I believe you’ve been blessed with this story inspired by the Holy Spirit.

At this junction, I want to thank you for reading thus far. Much love from here 🥰❤️❤️.

Say a word of prayer to me (Authoress Rhoda) for being led/inspired to write

🥰❤️❤️

©️Ojo Rhoda Ayanfeoluwa.

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