MY JOURNEY AS A SINGLE MOTHER.
Part 2
By Authoress Rhoda.
“Mummy, where is our daddy?” Taiwo finally broke the silence.
Thousands of thoughts ran through my mind. I just didn’t want to say anything that would affect him again.
” Dear, your father traveled.” I said as I tried to draw him close to myself. I knew I told a lie.
Immediately, Kehinde ran into my arms.
“Mummy, is it true that the two of us are bastards?” Kehinde asked.
“Who called you a bastard, Kenny?” I asked.
The girl told me her aunty called the two of them bastards. I even thought it was just by mistake, but I was shocked to know that, that was the name she gave them. She called them Bastard 1(Taiwo) and Bastard 2( Kehinde).
You could imagine how furious I became when they told me.
Funny enough, all their classmates called them bastards. In fact, failure to answer their aunty whenever she called them bastards led to severe punishment.
“Why didn’t you tell me since all these while?” I asked in annoyance because I hate it when someone remind me of my past.
“Mummy, you were not ready to listen to us. All you love to do is just to shout at us whenever we want to express ourselves to you. It’s just as of you hated us. That was why I truly believe I was a bastard since my teachers and classmates were against me and you as well weren’t giving us the necessary attention we needed. You are just too harsh on us. You make us scared of you to the extent that we can’t tell you what is bothering us.” Taiwo said.
” Yes, mummy. You hate us. You like shouting at us at any time. It is as if you don’t want us to be your children.” Kehinde said.
I broke down in tears. Kehinde wiped them off.
I was broken. Of a truth, I was harsh on them because I felt they were my greatest mistake in life. I just couldn’t believe I was their mother. I didn’t see myself as one because I just didn’t like them. Sometimes, I transfer aggression on them whenever I remembered their father. I was just heartless. I wasn’t ready to listen to them, no wonder they hid things away from me.
***
Dear parents, please be very close to your children. Sometimes, they are passing through things they would like to share with you if only the atmosphere is conducive for them to express their minds. When there is love, your children will always love to tell you things. Love them and give them the privilege to lend your listening ears and shoulders to cry on.
If you fail to listen to them or give them your attention, they will get it from somewhere else. Who knows, if they may later end up opening up to bad friends.
Please, be there for your children in order not to cry “had I know” by the time they run into bad hands.
*****
“Darasimi!!!!” I shouted.
“Mummy, that’s my aunt’s name.” Kehinde said.
“Yes, I know.” I replied.
“Ahhhh! Darasimi, you did this to me?” I shouted as if she was present with me.
Darasimi was my children’s class-teacher. She happened to be one of my closest friends when I moved in to that locality. She knew everything about my life. I was happy that glorious day I got to know that she was my children’s teacher. I believed my children were safe in her hands. I never knew she was going to use my information against me.
“Taiwo and Kehinde.” I called them as I hugged them as if my life depended on it.
“I’m so sorry for not being there for you. As from today, I repent of everything I have done to you. I’m so sorry for everything. I will make sure you become great in life. I love the two of you. Have you forgiven your mother?” I asked.
“Yes, mum.” They chorused.
“Taiwo and Kehinde, I want you to know that you are not a bastard. Both of you are 7 years old. You will both live long in life in Jesus name. You both shall be great in life in Jesus name…” I prayed for them from the bottom of my heart. They both chorused “amen”.
“Mummy, what about our daddy?” Taiwo asked again.
Your dad….
***
Hmmm!
Taking care of two kids by myself for more than 5 years wasn’t an easy task.
I could remember those times I shed tears as my food. I know if I wasn’t a single mother, things wouldn’t have been difficult for me. I couldn’t take decisions in life without thinking about my children.
Sometimes, handling or settling their fights wasn’t easy for me. Answering some of their questions at times do make me regret my past.
Being a single mother was as if I was cursed. Men ran away from me when they heard that I had kids. I became stigmatized.
Nevertheless, God was faithful to me. He brought people into my life who stood by me and took care of me more than my biological parents.
I heard stories of single mothers who couldn’t take good care of their children, because of what their fathers did to them. Some abandoned their children while some transferred aggression on their children making them to feel unfortunate, insecured, unloved, dejected and many more.
How did the journey start? How did I become a single mother all of a sudden? Was I able to scale through?
Follow me closely!
To be continued.
ยฉ๏ธOjo Rhoda Ayanfeoluwa.
The LORD bless you the more. Very inspiring