TAMAR,
Episode 3.
“You can’t do this to me, this is not fair mother…I thought you love me, no mother…I can’t accept this…I can’t…
“We want the best for you princess, you know we love you right…
“then this is not the right way to prove it, this is just not fair, you said you want the best for me but you are giving me the worst, she doesn’t even have any hair on her head, Zain, my friend, she has a beautiful maids attending to her, they are the Tivi girls with long hair and round waist, her father make sure he buys beautiful slaves for her, she boast with her personal maid to me, and I have told her that mine will be far more beautiful than hers, now she will laugh at me when she sees this, she will mock me if she sees the kind of slave that my parents gave me…I don’t care what you say but I just don’t want her…I don’t
As we went inside that day, Abel has asked me to wait till tomorrow before going to meet the Lord and Lady of the house, he took me to the out house, a big house within the compound built for all the slaves, I stayed in one room, with two other girls, who never said a word to me because Abel has asked them not to bother me, they were big and beautiful and can be mistaken for a royalty with the way they act and dress, I was given cloths to wear and good food to eat that night and I slept all through the night till the following morning, when Abel later came to fetch me, it was time to present me to the master, I cleaned up and dress with the cloth I was given, and wrapped my head up,
Abel has told me not to be afraid or worried, that even if Zity doesn’t want me and her parents agreed to it he will put me in the kitchen, as one of the assistant cook or in the garden.
Zity was very beautiful, she was far bigger than her age, maybe because her parents were very tall, her brother Vim was also handsome, he has his father’s structure, the house was big and beautiful, different shapes of animals and images carved and positioned at every corner of the house, there was a water fall and a large garden, lots of beautiful slave girls doing different thing, I watch as one brought a tray of gizzard liver, well spiced and decorated, she brought it to Lord Reese and Lady Phin, the master and madam of the house, she knelt down and served them, while they picked from the tray of meat, and another brought red win, I watch as Vim looked at the girl with the gizzard tray, and when she brought the tray of meat to him, she knelt down and without fear looked fully to his face, and I was told slaves are not allowed to look at their master’s face while serving them, but the girl did, Vim smile and lady Phin who noticed quickly dismissed the maid from Vim, the girl quickly stood up and walked seductively, and Vim was looking at her behind as she whine her waist, she went to Zity but she was very angry and threw the tray of meat off her hand and it all scattered all over the place, lady Phin spoke
“you can be angry from now till tomorrow Zity, is all fine, but me and your father will not change our mind on this, I feel comfortable with this one, I don’t know where Abel got her from but she makes me feel at peace, I know I can trust her with you, your friend Zain may have all the beautiful maid tending to her need she still feels empty and sad, and with time she will also get jealous of your maid if you treat the innocent girl well,, but is all your choice when it comes to her and is my choice to make sure you are in safe hands, forget about the hair, it will grow back, and with food on her she will grow fat, stop worrying,
“Zity, please listen to your mother, and take her…
The master of the house, Lord Reese spoke calmly and collected, he looked up at me and I bent my head then he spoke to me
“child, Abel said you are fourteen, and you are very devoted, I trust Abel and I know whatever comes from him is good, so if he picked you for my daughter then I have no worries, Abel spoke greatly of you, what is your name and where do you come from, what of your parents, what god do you believe in
“my name is Tamar, my Lord, we live close to the Abkhazia , across the black sea with my parents and siblings before the war broke out and they are all dead now, I was captured and sold off, and was later shipped down to this place, I serve…I ser..
Denying my faith has seem normal, hating God has seem normal until I met Abel, and I began to feel ashamed of myself, Abel displayed God’s kind of love to me and has told me I was special and God must have sent him to pass that road and meet the merchant who sold me to him, he said he doesn’t like passing there because it was too broad but there must be a hand that guided him to pass there and he met me, he asked me not to give up on God because God has never given up on me, he has kept me for a purpose and I will find out what the purpose is soon.
I stammered as I was about to say the god I serve, I didn’t want to lie neither do I want to expose myself to another danger, Abel has warned me to be careful so that none will find out the kind of God I serve, as I stammered, Lady Phin spoke.
“is fine Tarmar, you can choose any god here, your master worship Jupiter, the god of strength and success, he also worship tiwail, the god of thunder, I worship Venus the goddess of love and protection, my children serve whatever god they like, and every slave in the house choose a god for themselves, so feel free to choose any god, we are not gods, don’t be afraid, Abel must have told you that we are good people, and that’s the truth, serve us with your hard work and obedient, you are dedicated to my daughter Zity, make sure you serve her well, don’t see us as gods. we give out one shelling to every slaves here every day, you can do whatever you want with the money, I told Abel to get me a little slave girl, between Zity’s age… and it has taking him time to do that, because I asked him not to buy ordinary slave girl, beauty are all in vain, I’m not counting on that. I guess Abel prayed to his god who directed him to buy you, be a good girl and you will always find favor before us, serve your mistress Zity like is required of you, I know my daughter can be difficult to please but just do your job dutifully, don’t do eye service like most of the slaves here does, I’m feeling at peace with you already, you got some special thing in you Tamar, be of good behavior…
Lady Phin spoke with compassion in her voice, my head was bent in respect as she spoke, the master of the house, Lord Reese stood up and left, he was being called upon to an important issue. Zity cried out again
“I said I don’t want her mother, why will you and father team up against me, why can’t you listen to me, I don’t want her, just take a look at her, bare head, tiny body as if she has sickness, do you see her big eyes, I wonder how she makes you feel at peace mother, she is too strange, I can’t even boast to Zain about her, Zain will make a shame of me to everyone, I will rather allow other slaves to serve me, this is not just fair… Vim, say something, your friends will laugh at me if they see the kind of slave mother gave me, everybody will find reason to mock me now, try to convince mother that I don’t want this slave girl…please..
I watched as Vim started laughing, but suddenly stop when the sister’s cry turned into whimper..
“okay…is okay Zity, sorry that I have to laugh, I know you are sad, don’t be, non of my friends will dare try to mock you with your maid, i will break their teeth if they tries it, Zity, the girl is not that bad, her hair will grow back, and she will add up with time, if anyone say anything bad just tell them that she can…can sing, I don’t know if she can actually sing… but just tell them she got a good voice and she can sing very well more than Zain’s maids all put together, I know Zain is jealous of you because you are far too beautiful than her, don’t allow her to intimidate you with all those her fine maid, intimidate her with yours instead. but mother, you could aswell allow Zity to make her choice, since she said she doesn’t want this one, then get like three beautiful slaves and let her make her choice, this slave girl looks like she won’t be able to do much work, she look worn out and malnourished, she look like she was cursed by the gods, I want my sister to have good things of life, she is royalty and her personal maid should be as beautiful as the sun, Abel could have brought one of the tivi girls, I know the tivi girls can be very lazy but they are very beautiful…
Lady Phin spoke up, hushing Vim to be quiet,
“you mean like Obia, yes, I know what has being going on… Vim, I saw the way you looked at her when she came to serve the gizzard, I swear by Venus that I will sell that girl, she act all seductive, whenever she sees you, and you look at her hungrily, I have told you to take your pleasure outside, if the girlfriends you have is not enough then get more and leave the household servants alone, Obia is displaying arrogance and bad attitude because you are climbing her…
“mother…that’s not true, i only admired her beauty, I’m a man mother, and I get girls dying for me outside here, I’m not always allowed to bring them home, only April, I respect you and father’s policy, Obia is trying her best like every maiden in this house, I have not touched her, who told you that, why will I stoop so low to have anything with the household maidens, I have a woman, mother, if April hears this she will not find it funny, please I have nothing with Obia, you can sell her if you want, that’s none of my business
Zity who has stopped crying spoke
“vim, I have seen Obia sneaking into your chamber at night and sneaking out too, but I did not tell mother anything I swear by the gods, I’m only saying it now because you are lying to mother, you lied of not having anything with her, Obia throws herself around you every time you are around, she act seductively because you are having something with her, don’t you know you empower her when you admire her or lays with her, if she dares act disrespectful to me any day I will break her neck, Vim you have a woman outside and also have one inside, I have lost count of how many women are flocking around you, definitely is not just April, April is beautiful and I want to be like her when I grow up but you are not satisfied with her, and I really like April, her father is wealthy too and she is the only child of her parents, do you see her personal slave girls, she has two and they are so beautiful…
I listened as Vim stood up and spoke angrily to the sister,
“I’m glad that mother got you this kind of slave girl as your personal maid, is your good reward for not shutting up and minding your business, what I do with my personal life is nobody’s business, and I was even trying to convince mother to get you another slaves, now I see that with this one that look like a little witch you will learn to mind your business, yes, keep crying, I don’t care, mother if you want to sell Obia, please go ahead so that I can have peace in this house, I’m going out to the port, to foresee things for father, I will be back after twenty nine days, I need to breath in the sea fresh air, before I get choked from everybody meddling in my affairs.
Vim stomped out while Zity cried and ran to her chamber, Lady Phin dismissed me.
Abel smiled on seeing me back to the out house, he reassured me that everything will be fine, and I believed him, the next day Zity did not ask for me, even on the third day when her friend, Zain visited, I did not go near, as her friend who was not as beautiful as Zity was boasting loudly with the beautiful maid she came with who was even more beautiful than her, but Zity never answered, she changed the topic to something else and they eat and laugh together.
Abel put me in the kitchen as one of the assistant cook when Zity did not send for me after five days. Another slave girl was attending to her, I was already feeling comfortable with my new job in the kitchen when I was told that Zity is asking of me, I quickly ran to her chamber
“Where have you being since how many days now, you are meant to serve me now you can not even do your job, I was told you are in the kitchen, is that where you are suppose to be
“No my lady, my apologies, I was waiting for the right time when you will send for me, I’m here to serve you my lady,
“good, then serve me here not in the kitchen, I’m bored, no slave have any good story for me, do you have any story, I like romantic story and stories of handsome men fighting the war, I love to listen to those love stories, that is why I pray to Venus, the goddess of love to give me a handsome prince who I will love so well when the time comes, or when father thinks is time for me to start a romantic journey, so do you have any interesting story tell me.
I thought of stories I could tell, I remembered all the bible stories that mother and father use to tell me and my sisters back then, so I started telling her the story of Sampson and Delilah, but I never told her it was from the bible, Abel is teaching me wisdom, and being careful with my kind of faith, by the time I finish the story, Zity was happy and she said she was going to tell Zain, that I may not have long hair or fat like other slaves are but I can tell good stories, she laughed and clapped her hands, she couldn’t wait for Zain to visit so that she can tell Zain that I can tell good stories.
After that day Zity never complained of changing me or wanting another maid again, she became comfortable with me around her, sometime I will tell her stories until she sleeps off, I have a space in her chamber where I sleep at night, I hardly leave her sight except if she ask me to,
My coyly hair started forming again on my head, a rare gene I inherited from my mother, i was gradually adding up.
Abel looks at me one day and said, “you are more beautiful than anyone I have ever seen, inside and out, Don’t allow anybody to tell you otherwise, God didn’t make a mistake when he created you, after God created you he smile and said my daughter is beautiful, so believe what he says about you not what the world said.
Abel gives me hope everyday, he makes me believe again, and my faith is being restored. I know hard days are coming but I’m not afraid anymore, nothing surprises me, I am where God want me to be, I’m glad Abel found me.
TAMAR
, Episode 4.
“Today I will be taking a walk with Zain to the museum, so get things ready for the outing because we won’t be back till dusk, hurry, and don’t get food or drink we will buy some there.
I quickly packed up few things into a leather bag, I also put her shawl, and a cover just in case the weather gets cold, I put a little water bottle and fried meat with few fruits, even though she asked me not to bring food or water, knowing the kind of person she was, she may not get a good food outside and will end up angry with me, so it was better I carry everything necessary, even if she did not demand or needs it I will return them back.
A year has gradually gone by, I can still remember the day Abel brought me to live and serve here, and it has not being easy serving Zity but I get use to her everyday.
Zain, her friend met up with her, she also came along with her personal maid, who looked me over like I never existed, she rolled her eyes and sigh, while Zity and Zain walk in front, we quietly followed behind, Zity makes men to turn and stare at her, she was very beautiful, she never gave attention to any one as she went ahead talking with her friend who seem to be boiling with jealousy at the way men and women were staring at Zity,
Zain suddenly said she wanted to restyle her hair and also to add more make up to her face, so Zity allowed her, and we stop at a little kiosk, and Zain ordered her maid to restyle her hair and add more make up to her face and the girl who seem angry with her mistress disturbance, grudgingly did, and when she was done, Zain checked herself in the mirror and seem satisfied.
The make up on Zain’s face was much but she was okay with it, Zity spoke
“Isn’t that much, I mean the make up, the one you had on before was far better off…
“what do you mean Zity, what of the one you have on your face isn’t that also makeup…are you trying to say you are more beautiful than i?
“mmh, I’m not saying that, I did a very light makeup because I sweat a lot, and the weather is very hot, I’m just saying the whole makeup on you will probably wipe out if the weather gets hotter…you will sweat…
“don’t worry about that, that’s why I have my maid with me, she will fan me if the weather gets hot, her job is to make sure I don’t gets uncomfortable…so even though I know she is very arrogant and lazy she will still hand fan me, making sure I’m alright.
When we got to the museum, which was crowded with people, they started touring round the whole place, Zain pointed at some group of handsome men, they were four in number, and after sometime, two of the young men’s walked away leaving the other two behind, they look young and vibrant, Zain started urging Zity to were the young men where standing, but Zity who was not interested in what Zain was showing her turned away.
“look they are so handsome like your brother Vim, they look royal too, come let us go close maybe they will notice me, just take a good look at them, they look like they were carved by mars, just like your brother who is always rude to me, he never pays me attention no matter what I do, and you have refuse to make it possible, you can tell your brother that I really like him or just say anything that will make him look at me like I’m special, Vim is proud and full with himself, April is always flocking herself around him, maybe because April is older than us, April should be eighteen or nineteen right… and her father is in charge of the big arena game, but she is not as beautiful as I am…
“Zain, mother has thought me never to lie, and I know I can be stubborn but there are certain teaching from my parents I hold dearly, in truth April is beautiful, far more than you. leave my brother out of our discussion, he doesn’t want you and no matter what i do or say he will still not want you, Vim is just like that, leave him alone, you know I can tear down when it comes to my brother… father said I’m too young to keep a man friend and mother has warned me not to go too close to any man except my brother, Vim will kill any man he sees close to me because I’m not allowed to keep men as friends, my people want me to marry as a virgin, keeping a man friend may bring distaste and will stain their good name, I don’t want that either I just turned fifteen now and mother has said when I’m sixteen i will be allowed to have a male partner, or they will get me married off, I don’t want that though, I want to choose a partner for myself…I know I will
“sometimes, I don’t like you, I hate you for always painting yourself as an angel, I’m also my father’s favorite yet he allows me to do whatever I want, loosing your virginity doesn’t mean you will bring shame to your parents, is only when you tell them, they don’t even have to know, you have your own life to live, I lost mine when I was twelve and it feel so good, I told you back then to try it but you are always preaching “mother said this father said that” eventually you will still loose it before you get married or after, whichever way, you will, except if you want to grow old and die with it, please stop acting like you are perfect, will you walk me down to those boys or not..
“Zain, i came here to check out the art of history and fine work of the craftsmen not to check out boys, you can go I’m not going anywhere…
I felt so proud of Zity, she can be difficult to please but she was very principle despite having everything at her disposal, she still respect her parents both absent and present.
One of the young man suddenly turned to our direction, and tapped his friend’s shoulder who also turned
“aaah, I’m hot all over, They are looking at me, they like me, hope my make up is still there, is my hair well styled, I asked my maid to style it in perfect order, Zity hope is perfect, stop being jealous of me because I know you are, well I was hoping I will meet with them and make my choice among them, Zity please, be a true friend for once and walk with me to where they are, I’m blushing, look…look they are coming…they are walking towards me…ooh I’m hot, they are too handsome, look at the taller one, he has so much muscle, broad shoulder and chest out, he has red lips too, oh I’m melting inside…I just need him to smile at me and I will be his, he is like a god, one of those god carved in the temple, as if he was perfectly carved by mars, the god of sunlight and rain…I’m in love with him already…
The men walk up to where we are, they greeted us and walk passed Zain who was admiring the tall one with a full smile on her face, thinking they were coming to her, she frowned as they went straight to Zity, Zain’s heavy makeup face changed into terror like one of those small witches in their idol temple,
The taller one that Zain has wanted started speaking to Zity who seem uninterested,
“you look like you came from Aliah, the goddess of beauty, are you in anyway related to the goddess, you are beautiful, your kind of beauty is hard to behold, I’m chakan, my father is the third district ruler, here is also my friend, I got caught up in your beauty the moment I saw you, you look like Lord Reese princess, oh I’m right, you were little the last time I saw you with your parents and your brother at the gladiator parole, I have admired you from where I sat, as you wave with your parents on the chariot that day, is being five years now, and you look far more beautiful than all the royal maidens of the land put together, what is your name, please I want to be your friend…
“is good to meet you, I’m not allowed to keep men as friends, my friend Zain will appreciate your friendship more…
the young man was obviously not interested in Zain who stormed out with her maid angrily, he tried to get Zity’s name but she suddenly walked out too after Zain ran out of the museum,
when we got outside, Zity started looking for Zain and when she found her, sitting under a tree while her maid was fanning her, Zity joined her and sat down on her mat, Zity apologized to her and she pretend not to be angry
“I don’t even like him, the one that said his name was Chakan, the son of a common district ruler, he maybe handsome but he is not my type, he look like he has too many women, I don’t like such men…
I watch Zity laugh and later said
“you were dying for him earlier now he is not your type of man, well after you ran off he whispered to me that he likes you and don’t know how to talk to you…but since you said you don’t like him then is fine, any day I see him again I will deliver your message
I watch as Zain’s eye light up joyfully, not knowing that Zity was only joking
“don’t you dare say anything to him, oh goddess of kindness and love has favored me, Aliah has visited me and has put a smile on my saddened face, did he said that he likes me, I thought he wanted you, i like him too much already, please wait here let me go and look for him inside or is he coming out to meet us…oh I’m getting hot all over again…
“I was only joking Zain, he never said that…
“you are a cursed being Zity, may the gods deal with you for laughing at my misfortune, how can you joke with something like that, who do you even think you are, always getting the good things of life, good family, handsome brother, men dying to have you instead of me, I will go and burn incense in the temple of Venus and Aliah to favor me greatly and when they do I will taunt you like you have done to me, and before I forget I can also boast with my maid, she is far more beautiful then yours, even though your maid look better now than when she first came she can never be compared to mine, and I don’t need you to tell me that she can tell good stories or sing, she is still not as beautiful as mine,
“and yet you complained that your maid is too lazy, you told me five days ago that you wish your maid is as hardworking as submissive as Tamar is, Tamar is not only hard working and respectful she tells me good romantic stories all night and can also sing, Tamar’s hair is covered up now, have you seen her coyly fine hair, she got it from her mother that is what she told me, I’m glad mother picked her for me, I did not taunt you Zain, I was only joking and I don’t have all the good things of life, I’m always grateful for what the gods blessed me with, I’m sorry anyway, can we at least stop fighting and act like friends, we shouldn’t fight over everything…
Zain pretend to be at peace and ask Zity to give her the necklace on her neck if she want her to be her friend again and Zity removed it and gave it to her, we were asked to go and look for food and drink but I told them I packed up some food in the bag and I quickly brought it out and serve them, they both started eating, talking and laughing while I stood beside Zity and Zain’s maid sat faraway from her as she eats the food I gave her.
It was sundown already and a long walk back home, when we arrived, Lady Phin was walking round her garden with Vim her son, Zity ran to her brother who was hardly around, he hugged her, while their mother smile, I left them to go and set water for Zity to bath, after that i went in search of Abel and when i didn’t see him I asked of him from the other kitchen assistant who seem to be use to me now,
they told me he was at his usual place, close to the fountain, I went straight to the fountain and saw him, his eyes were shut, his head raised high, his mouth closed, it looks like he was in deep thought, the whole place was quiet except for the sound of water, I quietly sat beside him and he opened his eyes, he turned and looked at me before smiling, he tapped my shoulder gently,
“is something bothering you Abel… you like sitting out here all alone sometime, I thought you are praying but your mouth never moves…
“I am, that’s the way I pray, i praise God loudly in my mind while listening to the water fall, I tell God all my worries and allow him to speak to me, I can’t say it out loud, I can’t pray or worship like I would have love to because is forbidden to do so, someday I will have the boldness because I still have fears, and I’m praying to God to help me overcome it, you can also try to sit out here by yourself sometime, and have a quiet time with God, tell him whatever bothers you or whatever your fears are, allow him to envelope you in his love, we maybe in a strange land but nothing ever happens without God’s knowledge, he knows you will be here, he will use the weak to shame the strong and will use the things the world call foolish to shame the wise, God said “my ways are not your ways” I have set the Lord always before me, because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
“my father use to read psalms to us when he was alive, I still remember few, I wonder sometime how this people have gods of different shapes and sizes all around them and yet they feel empty and sad.
“in the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God. No matter the images they bow to it can never do anything for them, for they have eyes but can not see and ears but can not hear.
I sat with Abel as he empowered me with the word of God, I excused him to go and check up on Zity and to know if she was done with her bath.
I still wonder what I will do without Abel, when I seem to be loosing hope he strengthens me up, I feel so close to God anytime I’m close to Abel, I find favor before my owners, and no matter how much of song and stories I tell Zity she only sees them as romantic stories not as God delivering his people or showing love and kindness to people,
someday, I have this believe that one of them will come to know the real God more than the gods and goddesses they carve for them selves and call it a name. but for now I will keep serving as I was meant to serve.
