TAMAR. Episode 29.
After bidding Tedran good bye, I head to the merchant’s place, on getting there was lead to where he was, and he ushered me into a seat
“You asked to see me my lady, how may I be of help to you…
“my name is Leah and I am a physician, someone directed me to you, so I wanted to know if I can be of any service to you, what of your wife?
“she died, is being over three years ago…I don’t really need a physician because they can not cure loneliness, that is the only sickness that I am suffering and it hurt right here in my heart, loneliness, no wife, no children…only the gods knows my offense to have punished me the way they did, I did not mourn my wife, I did not even see her corps, the lion’s ate her up, she did not even get a decent burial, she brought the mishap upon herself, she was gullible, nothing I did ever was enough for her, she have no respect for me, and does not take my word to heart, she goes and comes anytime she likes, and I can’t just question her, I wanted to separate from her before she died, but I never wished for her to go down that way, she sent an innocent slave girl to her early grave just because she is a Christian and she hates her, she teamed up with a man called Mandioh and send her to die and there she also met her own death. And I wanted to marry after a year but I have not seen any decent woman of this land to end up with, I don’t want any woman that will give me trouble, I don’t want a woman like my late wife…
“I’m deeply sorry about your wife..
“Don’t be…no need to pity me, she deserve whatever she got like I said earlier, she had opportunity to be better, I loved her but she was harden, she mess around with other men and rub it on my face, because I just couldn’t do anything, she told me she wanted to leave me for a younger man, who she got entangled with and she travels to see him often, well I was ready to accept whatever she throws at me…my lady Leah, the only thing that hurt me is not having a child, even if is one, she conceived and always miscarry, and the one she carried to the prime time and gave birth to… died after birth, is being one unfortunate happening or the other, I prayed to different gods to bless us with children but nothing happen…
“the gods do not give children, my lord, only Jehovah, our creator grants desires of a man’s heart and is also ready to bless you with a loving family, I am a Christian, a fearless one, and God is asking you to come to him with all your worries and emptiness and he will fill you up, are you willing to drop off the ways of this land and come to God, who is ever ready to welcome you with an open arm, are you willing to drop your pain and burden at his feet and allow him to bring back laughter to your face, please my lord, tomorrow maybe too late, accept him now that you still have strength and life, accept him now before the cockcrow and is too late to make a choice…
“I use to be afraid before for the Christians, then I had encountered with this slave girl that was sent to the lion’s by my late wife, she speaks so boldly of her faith, and after she left I looked forward to her coming back and telling more about her god but it was unfortunate she died, and I’m glad you are here, I may not know you and you having all this cover up makes it unable for me to know what you look like but please tell me what to do and let me try this your god and see what it feels like…
I smiled as I quietly uncovered my face to him, and he quickly felt pity for me on seeing the scar, he did not recognized me just as expected, and I gladly reveal myself to him, that I am still Tamar the slave girl that was sent to the lion, I told him how God saved me and he stood up from his seat in fear, he opened his eyes in shock and he took some step back, I kept on assuring him that I wasn’t a ghost, it was a long battle for him to believe and when he did I lead him to Christ, after which I also told him about having two children he never knew existed, the revelation was too much for him and he wanted to see them, he was shaking as he rode on his chariot, I kept on encouraging him and speaking to him, and when we got to Rhonda, she ran out on seeing the chariot, the twins and little Jon were eating at one end of the house, I introduced the merchant to Rhonda and she greeted kindly, we sat and talked for sometime, and the Merchant began to cry as he realized that he has being a father for many years without even knowing, he wept so bitterly, and began to plead with Rhonda to move into his big house, where the children will have space and well provided for, I urged Rhonda to agree and she later did,
And after three days Rhonda and the twins with little Jon moved in with the merchant, the merchant took one side on the house and gave Rhonda and the kids the bigger part, they were well cared for, the merchant was so happy, he drew me into a long hug for truly bringing tears of joy to his eyes, he thanked Rhonda for her pure kindness. I asked Rhonda to keep talking to him about God since she is close to him now and she agreed.
My next plan, as I have already agreed with Rhonda is to let Adolfo know of his son, first of all I have to tell lady Zity, she deserve to know that her suppose dead son is alive and healthy.
My heart was so glad more than the merchant whose joy was full, he was so thankful to God and I felt like the happiness in my heart will burst out from my chest,
On getting home Abel reveal to me who he was actually getting married to, and it was Zity, wow, that was what I screamed as he told me that, I thought as much, and he also said that he has told Zity about it and she has agreed, they have made their intentions known to lord Reese and lady Phin, and has also told Vim who said they should do whatever makes them happy, and the wedding day has being picked,
Everything seem to be happening so fast, and Abel asked me
“Vim is your sheep to pasture, what have you being doing towards that…
“His heart is still harden and I can’t make him believe, he is proven too difficult, I have tried severally and yet he won’t oblige, Abel, I wish you understand how difficult Vim can be..
“I understand, and that was why God gave him to you, he is your assignment, don’t you love him, and before you played with the answer to my question, I already know you do, but holding back your feeling because he is not a believer, you want to end up with somebody like me, Godly, loving, self perseverance and on fire for God, isn’t it, remember God chose our battle, God can not give you a battle he knows you will not win, he picked Zity for me, I could have go whining to God, or even go questioning God and I will say, “No God, no, I need somebody like Tarmar, a selfless, loving and Godly woman, I need a God fearing woman like myself, not somebody like Zity who has already being married to two men and even sent her new born child to be disposed, I need a woman with less stain. Tamar I can go complaining of what I don’t have and what I want to God. But the fact still remains God is not a man, his ways are far more than ours, he gave me my sheep to pasture and that’s Zity to become my wife and I started building her up even before God revealed her to me, I accepted wholeheartedly, and I feel grateful that God found me worthy enough to give me a woman, to be my wife, Zity is not a bad person, she was only mislead, she was an easy prey for the devil but that is changing now that she will be mine. Devil must loose it hold on her because she belong to the light, she is a precious gift in Gods sight, so now it all depends on you and what you want to do with Vim, you need to loosen up your tight grip and become human, come down to his level and understand what he feels, reveal who you are, do not be on this Khimar for long because there’s no much time, God has brought you back, he doesn’t want you to go wearing Khimar all the time, you are Tamar, you are very special in the eyes of the most high, God gave you a high battle because he counts you worthy, you are the light, don’t allow anything to hold you down from shining Tamar, I love you, like a brother to a sister and God set you on my way for me to guide you through and not to marry you as much as that would have seen right and pleasing in a man’s eyes but not with God, go and do whatever you have to do for Vim, he is the only one left in this household to come to Christ, if you need wisdom ask our generous God and he will give it to you, God will not rebuke you for asking, Vim will be on fire for God if he happens to accept God, he will be on real fire and that’s why the devil has hardened his heart from believing now is your job to rebuke the devil for his sake and the enemy will flew from him, draw him to God and let him know there’s a God in heaven, who rules among men and has the universal in the palm of the palm of his hand.
I took time to pray to God to help me, I visited Adolfo and Eura, and they were so happy to have me around, I stayed with them and I was treated as if I am the queen of the land, and when I left I visited the merchant and Rhonda and stayed with them and the Merchant told me he wants to make Rhonda his wife, I asked Rhonda what she thinks, she said they have being talking about God and praying together and the Merchant is a good man and she is also willing to accept and become his wife,
I was so happy for both of them, God who has orchestrated this will forever be praise. I returned back, it was as if I was going in cycle, God using me for couples to be married and yet I don’t have a man to call mine, and Vim, it was as if it will take a big work to make him believe, I have being asking God to help me for his sake.
As the day break, I waited to noon and went to knock on Vim’s chamber, he opened up, I look through my Khimar to his face, he stood far head taller than me, Vim was a handsome man and will be most lady’s dream man, he looks like he was busy in his chamber, he has a writing feather in his hand, he stood looking at me despite he can’t see me through, I breathed deeply again at his sight, he stood there without saying a word
“Kind greetings to you my lord, please can i speak with you…oh I guess you are busy…I can come back later…
“sure, you can speak with me…do you care to come in, don’t be scared I will leave my chamber open, I don’t bite people. yes, I was busy, the accountant sent in father’s good’s figure from the port, and I did not want to trouble Abel since he is preparing for his upcoming wedding with Zity, so I needed to take my time to do all the figure, to know our profit and the lost, being working on it for days, is actually a big work and I needed all the concentration to do that, but not withstanding, I can stop for now and continue later…funny enough I have being wanting to see you too, and I guess you have being out for weeks and have not being around here, I buried myself with work and hardly comes out of my chamber except when necessary…please come right in Leah…
He ushered me into his big chamber, and I entered, he left the chamber door open like he has said, I saw all the paper work, the ink and other writing feather on his reading table, he has even being working at night because I saw a Lamp at one end of the reading table. I sat and he draw a chair and sat in front of me, leaving distance between us, he smile before saying
“So what do you have for me my lady…I’m all ears
“God and myself….
He was silent before saying again
“Well then, you and God, very interesting, go ahead, they both seem to be an interesting topic. Especially you, I will like to hear more about you and less about God, I am more interested in you than I am with God, but just say whatever you have to say, I am here to listen my lady.
I silently prayed that God will help me with Vim difficult heart, because just sitting under his inquisitive gaze I lost word to say or even how to start, how will I make him to listen, especially when it comes to God, he stared at me as I rub my two sweating palm together, I know I love this fine man but I just wish he can stop being so harden and soften up a little for God to work through him, as Abel has said, he will be on fire for God if he accept Christ and that is why the devil has harden his heart, Abel said Vim is my sheep to pasture, but sitting right here, I don’t even know how to start pasturing him, then just at that moment Vim said something that I have to laugh about making the environment less tense than it was before. I eased up from his joke as he kept looking at me with a smile plastered on his face.
TAMAR. Episode 30.
“there was once a farmer who has crop planted in his big farm, he loved his farm dearly and did not want any weed to affect his crops, he wanted to make sure his crops turn out bountifully during harvest time, so when he noticed weeds were beginning to crowd his crops and suffocate them he decided to get workers, he went out that morning and got few workers and they agreed on a certain wage, which was ten shelling, by noon he saw another set of people loitering around and also called them to his big farm with the same payment agreement, and by evening an hour to the end of work he saw another set of people sitting by the market square and he asked them if they are interested to work for an hour in his farmland and they were excited at the offer, at the end of the day the whole workers got their wages, which was all ten shelling… the first workers he employed in the morning got angry with the farmer and said, “master, we have being working in your farmland all day, since morning, and this people you employed an hour ago got the same wage with us, that is so unfair of you…we are suppose to get more than every worker here… and the farmer replied, “my son, you need not be offended because we agreed on ten shelling before the work commence, I agreed to pay everyone ten shelling and I have done that, it doesn’t really matter if is morning, noon or evening, my agreement with you stand and I did not break that. The workers all went home with same amount…
“But that’s unfair, the farmer suppose to pay the first workers more than he did with the last that just worked for an hour…
“is an illustration to show you the ways of God, God is the farmer, while this world is the big farmland and we are the workers in the farm, we all run the same race, so because I accepted Christ first or last doesn’t mean a thing to God because before him we are all equal, be it master or slave, freeborn or not, we are all equal before God and he will judge us according, on the last day, God will not say, let the rich come this said and let the poor stand right there, no, God is not partial, his ways are very pleasing and he is a loving God who loves us even when we can’t love our selves, the bible said, the race is not for the swift and the battle is not for the strong but time and chance happen to them all, you are wealthy, freeborn, good looking and educated all this things are very good, but on that last day you will appear as everyone before God, God doesn’t care about all your achievement and qualities, all that matters to him is your heart.
“Is a good story…I mean the farmer and the worker and the way your God works, now I have hard about your God can you tell me about yourself? You said you have two things which is your God and your self, so tell about yourself since you are done talking about your God…
“Vim, ooh my God, why do you have ears but can not hear or even understand all I have being trying to tell you about God, why is your heart so harden, Vim…do I need to open your heart to take off that hard thing in there for you to believe..
“I like the way you call me, you sound exactly like Tar…Tamar when you call my name…don’t be mad at me, you are angry with me…I may not see your face but I can hear it from your voice…Leah…why do you make me feel this way, hot all over, I’m trying, seriously to keep calm while you seat there and tell me the story of a farmer and his workers and the way your God works, all I wish is that you are Tamar sitting opposite me…I loved her and I really miss her, is just too hard to move on Leah, too hard to get her off my heart, it feels as if she is alive in my heart but dead to the world, you are the only woman I have ever picked interest in ever since after Tamar, people thinks that i am crazy, but i am not, isn’t that strange that I can’t see your face but you crosses my heart anytime you aren’t around here, your brother, Tedran says you are not married and not meeting with any man yet… i…don’t know if…you…I mean if we can be together, you and I, let’s get to know more about ourselves and I desire you to be mine…I don’t care much about your burnt scar, I fell in love with the voice not your face, I know I still need to see your face Leah, but is not important, you can be on this khimar for the rest of our lives together and it will not make any difference to me, your burnt scar will not come between my feeling for you…but I know you and Tamar seem alike, so fanatic and I hate to be turned down, it feels so sad to be rejected by a woman you truly love, you will feel like a looser, well that’s how I feel when Tamar chose her God over me
“yeah, it doesn’t’ feel so good to be turned down by a woman, you said Tamar tuned you down because of her believe, and now Leah…will not still accept this offer of yours because of her believe too…but she has something to tel…
He stood up from his seat before I could say another word and came to me, he knelt right in front of me… and held my hands…
“is alright..i understand why you have to say no, is fine, I know better now, I don’t have to be angry and hate myself or even hate you, is your decision to make, I’m not forcing you to give me the answer now, but please take your time and think about my offer Leah, I will wait, I’m ready to wait until you comes up with an answer…i…i
And then he stopped and shut his eyes for sometime he opened them again and all I can see is myself in his eye ball, he touched my khimar and rubbed his hands on my face, and when he got to the spot of the lion scar he pause, and pull down his hand, he gently tried to pull up the khimar but I held his hand, he tried to reassure me that he won’t see my face, as he tried again I stopped him, he stopped for sometime and tried again, this time, I did not stop him, i wanted to see what he was about to do, he pulled the khimar to my nose and suddenly stop, he bent over tried to kiss me but I quickly turned away, he straightened my face with his hand and tried again, he kissed me still holding onto my khimar from going up, he kissed me again as if he was tasting the lips, I turned away and stood up immediately..
“Your lips, they taste like that of Tamar…I’m sorry, I don’t suppose to keep saying her name all the time, I was just posses with everything in her…Leah, I love you, please let’s make this work, help me to forget what hurts, i…can’t deny the fact that I love you, just like I have loved Tar…mar…aaahhhh! Why do you remind me of her, I keep trying to shut her off my mind, I’m sorry, deeply sorry, this is about us Leah, Tamar is gone, and I will try to remember that…
“Tamar is not gone…Tamar is right here, in this room with you…
“her ghost, do you mean her spirit is right here, what does she look like…wait a minute…do you see spirits or communicate with them, can you see spirit with your visible eyes…
“if I reveal Tamar to you, will you believe in her God, if Tamar appears right here, will you believe there’s a God greater than all gods, will you trust in her God, if she ask you to believe will you still find it difficult to do that…
“I will if she appears right now, I will believe in her God, and even more if I can touch her and just hold her hands and hear her speak to me, I will do whatever she wants me to do, I will Leah, can you call her spirit up, just ones, if that is possible, I feel stupid asking for such an impossible thing, huuuh! Okay…this is crazy I know, let’s just forget it and focus on us…
I watch as he combed his hand into his head and then pause and looked at me, he moved closer and stood right in front of me, and when I suddenly started removing my khimar, he smile and then frown again on seeing the scar, I pulled back the khimar off my face and looked at him, he was looking at me and just then his eyes widen in shock he stood back in shock, and held his mouth from screaming, he started was muttering “ghost, ghost…you changed to Tamar’s ghost with those lion’s scar…Leah…is that you or…oh the gods…
“You said if you see Tamar again, you will believe, so do you belie…
He screamed in shock and rubbed his eyes, he looked round the room and shakes his head, he shut his yes and open it again, and I was still standing there and he suddenly ran out, he ran to his parents Chamber and I followed, with his scream Abel ran out, Zity came out, the slaves were out, everyone wanted to know what was going on, and just when Zity was coming out, she came face to face with me, she also screamed and fell back and Abel who was close by was at her side, everyone was afraid, they all thought I was a ghost except Abel, Abel nodded for me to go ahead to Lord Reese chamber and I did, it was funny and I wanted to laugh at some point especially when I got to the master’s chamber and they all crawled to one corner, Vim stood at a far side of the wall looking at me as I entered, lord Reese and Lady phin held on to each other as they started screaming Jesus, Abel lead Zity to the big Chamber and sat her down, the slaves were murmuring at the passage, as they all thought a slave ghost appeared,
Then Abel spoke on my behalf
“she is no ghost, this is Tamar not Leah, yes, she is alive, and that is the mark of the lion on her face, the mark the lions left on her face, this is a prove to everyone that God is not dead, he is alive yesterday today and forever, this is a prove to everyone that God saved Tamar, in his word he said he said will never allow the righteous to be forsaken, God is the same yesterday today and forever, God saved Tamar and the other slave girl that was sent down to the lion’s with her, they call her Shamara and she is a believer and she has gotten married to Tedran, the young man that came down here with Tamar, Tedran and his father, Cozam are the two people God used to help Tamar and Shamara, do not be shock or surprise, is being Tamar all this while, and not Leah, Vim do you believe now, you are just like a man in the bible called Thomas, he doubted that Jesus has risen from the dead until he saw and touched Jesus, only then did he believe that he was Christ…
Everywhere fell silent, and I spoke as I narrate all my encounter to them and why I have to go on a khimar and change identity, it was shocking, and seem unbelievable to everyone, Zity stood up and took my palm into hers, she looked into them as if she suddenly realized that is all true, that I have being alive all this while, she threw herself into my arm and held onto me and started crying, she was pleading to be forgiven for allowing Okra to send me to the lions, Lady Phin stood with Lord Reese it was as if they wanted to come to me, I rushed to their side and knelt before them in respect, I watch as Lady Phin tears dropped on my body, she couldn’t content herself, as she started praising God, Lord Reese sat and took my hands into his, he look at my scar and shakes his head in pity, I smiled amid tears as everyone was trying to understand if I was real or not. Abel was smiling as he look on, Vim has not moved from where he stood at one corner, kept looking at the whole thing, and still doubting within him if I was real or not. Abel laughed at the way he stayed at the wall like a scared and confuse child,
I know with this he will finally believe, if this is what it takes for him to believe so be it, I’m glad I don’t need to hide anymore, I am fully out and I am myself again, I stood up and for the first time I was able to hug lady Phin, she gently drew me into a hug with tears in her eyes and I held her like the mother I lost to cold war and lady Phin has not proven otherwise to me ever since I came under their roof.
Vim is just like Abel described him, doubting Thomas, seeing is believing for him and I know with this he won’t run from God anymore, now God will have him where he wants him to be.
Is all like a dream to them all and it will take a while for the shock to settle in, and even more shocking revelation is coming for Zity when she realize that little Jon like I called him is alive and healthy, the son who was suppose to be disposed.
I feel so free as the evening breeze greeted my face after a long time of covering, now is time to take God to the street corners, cities and districts, without fear or shame and let the people know how great God is, I am a living proof to everyone.
