TAMAR, Episode 23.
“bow to the gods of the land so that you may live, it doesn’t take anything just deny your faith, tell Mandioh that you aren’t a Christian and prove it, by proclaiming any god of the land, Venus, who is generally worshiped by women as your god…once you denounce your faith in the presence of Mandioh and his men…they will let you live…is very simple Tamar…I fear for you
“don’t be afraid for me my lady, there is no other god both in heaven and on earth except Jehovah, he sent his son Jesus Christ to die for my sin so that I will not die to this world again, he took my curse, my troubles, my sickness and diseases, he took my fear and my pain to the cross and nailed it all there so that I maybe redeemed from them all, I have no fear my lady, I don’t, not for Mandioh or his beast… for greater is he that’s’ in me than he that’s in the world. There’s a story in the bible, I once told you the story back home, before you got married to Adolfo…about Daniel and the lions…
“yes…yes, I still remember, and his god saved him from the lions…but they are just stories, childhood stories, I have never hard a man being saved from a lion before, even the once that are armed still get killed, those stories are not real Tamar, you told me your father use to tell you and your siblings the stories before he was killed, they are just stories to get people’s attention…
“they are real stories, God proves himself in a thousand ways to his true children, those who trust him and love him…my lady, if God allows those lions to kill me and feed on me then is fine, it only means my race is done, and since men have to die in different ways… well then…mine has being predestined by God not by Mandioh and I will rather die fulfilled because of Christ than to deny his name because of death and still have to die in later years, there are things you will not understand my lady but I pray this day that God will visit you soon, and heal your heart from doubt and he will lead you to the light so that you may come to know him and understand why I can’t substitute God for anything in the world…
“I wish this god you boldly speak off is real, I wish you have not turn down Vim’s proposal, he would have saved you, I wish I can change you for Shamara, allow them to take only Shamara and leave you for me because you are a great help to me, I wish I never come across Okra, when you spoke the other day, you made me to think deep and to understand the kind of person she was, you are more than a friend to me than Okra will ever be, I’m sorry I caused all this, I so much wish I can undo my mistakes, now, you have to be killed by those ugly beast because of me, I …I can’t even tell Vim or go to mother and father, I can’t even tell Chakan, Vim will not care if you live or die, Father and mother are getting old and I don’t want to cause more trouble for them and that maybe exposing Abel too, Chakan may hate me if he knows, and Adolfo who could have helped, I can’t even face him after how I treated him, I have begged you to deny your god in their presence, just for that time, when you come back you can keep serving him within, no one will know, but just proclaim the gods of the land as your god and you will be save Tamar… Mandioh is a very powerful man, Vim would have saved you from him because he respects Vim, but Vim has turned his back on you, you have to save yourself Tamar… please…
“Stop worrying about me, I’m glad, so glad you are beginning to see the kind of person Okra is and to stay away from her, because a day will come and she will ask you to poison and kill your husband…
“Well, she once did, and that was when I was still married to Adolfo, she said if I have to be free from him I have to kill him by putting poison in his meal little by little, so that when he eventually die, it will look like a natural death. But I couldn’t, I try to think about it and felt cold all over, I couldn’t even speak of it to anyone, I was so scared, even though I don’t want Adolfo but I don’t want him dead and when she brought the poison I took it, waiting to summon courage to do it but I just couldn’t, and I threw the poisonous substance away… I only felt guilty that I have to kill the child I had for him, Okra said it was better I don’t look at the child so that I won’t have regrets but even though I didn’t look at the child I still feel so bad anytime I remember that I gave birth to a healthy baby and ask you to go and dispose him, is sad, even though the marriage has being void of love but Adolfo would have being so happy to have a son, I would have being so glad to watch my boy grow, it will delight me greatly…i regret those deeds, it sit heavily in my heart, i would have done another if not that you speak some senses into me, I’m blessed to have you and is very sad you have to go this way…I wish I can save you from Mandioh but I can’t…I wish you can just save yourself and tell Mandioh that Venus is your god, and I will back you up as a witness, you will just tell him that you are not a Christian and you don’t serve the Christian god, just say it out loud and act like you mean it and they will free you…
As me and Zity speak inside her chamber, Chakan was out, a message came from a slave that Mandioh’s men where outside waiting for me, and Okra was with them, they also have Shamara already, I stood up and step out with Zity who was still pleading to me to deny my God so that I will live, but I ignored her, now is not a time for too much word is a time to silently pray to God to intervene in anyway that pleases him, let his will be done, but I will never ever deny god, because even the life I live is not mine it belongs to God, if God can save me from the war after my all my family member were wiped off, if God can save me from dying in the desert, after a long walk or in the sea even after shipwreck, he has saved me too much already, from the brutality of men and from sickness and diseases he will also save me now, but if is his will for me to go, for me to kiss the earth goodbye then so be it, I will join mother, father, Joe, Kath and Deb, but in all of this I am glad I live on this earth, I know I will miss Abel, oh, my own dear Abel, who has foretold things like this will happen, he has tried to build me up for a time as this, and he really did a great job, I am what I am because God sent Abel on my way, I’m glad…so glad I came to know him. I will also miss lady Zity, Rhonda, Adolfo and Eura, and even the merchant who I plan to show the light, I will miss lord Reese and lady Phin, I will miss the twins and little Jon, Zity will never get to know her little boy is alive, Adolfo will never know he has a son, the merchant who desired for children will never know he has beautiful twin girls somewhere…is sad what is hidden will remain hidden, Rhonda is a great mother, and the children the Lord gave her will be hers to keep, I wish Zity has come to know the true god and also her parents, I know even if I’m not there Abel will take charge, but Abel has said my work is greater than his, he was only there to guide me through, when I’m gone, Abel will take up the wheel fully by bringing the master and mistress to christ, I know Adolfo will be converted by Eura, he was already on his way to doing that, Eura will do the remaining job.
I have try not to think of Vim but he is always in my thought, is painful how much I still love him even after all of this, I pray one day his heart will be soften and he will come to understand why I couldn’t marry him, is not because I’m stupid, having all the beautiful things of this life presented to me in a platter of gold and I turned him down, killing his pride, his ego, and making him look stupid, he will not understand now and I know he hates me for rejecting his proposal, I just pray someday he will come to understand why I have to do it all. And it was worth it.
Jesus is the center of my life, all that’s good and perfect comes from him, I can deny the world for him, because there’s no life without him, he hold my breath, for in him I live and move, in him I have my being.
I saw Shamara crying in agony, she was pleading to Zity and to the men but non pays her attention, I turned to Zity to plead on her behalf but she still refuse and said let Mandion do whatever he desires with her, she can’t have her under her roof, Zity said I should be more worried about myself than Shamara, that I’m innocent, my only sin is worshiping a forbidding god which if I deny him before Mandioh, he will let me go, but Shamara is guilty, she will serve as a lesson to other maiden that will want to seduce their mistress husband or agree to lay with him, I told lady Zity that Chakan is equally guilty, why must Shamara suffer alone just because she is a slave, Zity ignored my plea, my heart melt right there as I watch Shamara weep,
Okra stood like a winner at one end, smiling as if she has won a gold medal, I moved closer to her as Mandioh’s men put me on chains, but I wanted to say few things to Okra
“so many years ago, a tiny slave girl was brought to you by your husband, her head was shaved but covered with a turban, and when you saw her, you rejected her and cursed your husband for buying such slave, you said she has an aura, like a strange presence around her and you don’t feel comfortable, and she looks like she will drop dead any moment, the slave was taken away within a second of your outrage, do you remember that incident.. Yeah, you do. Well I’m still that same slave, I did not drop dead instead I grew strong, and even stronger in the Lord my God, and I keep waxing stronger even now, not even face to face with death will weaken me. Repent before is too late, ask God to forgive your sins, God is just and ready to forgive, even though your sins is like scarlet, they shall be white as snow, though they maybe red as crimson, they shall be as wool. Tomorrow maybe too late my lady, turn from your evil ways and embrace light. The children you bore and threw away are safe in God’s care, repent and have this peace you yawn for, stop allowing the devil to use you to destroy lives, instead be a good agent for Christ and you will find yourself doing more good than evil, may the Lord have mercy on you…
“come and take this termite away from here, in few hours from now she will be gone and forgotten, you will become food, the animals will chew you raw, looking at you…you are not even a good food to those lions, just a mouth full and they will chew you up, swallow and still want more, you will also serve as a lesson to those that crosses me, and to those who believe in a forbidden god, your life could have being save if you have rejected your so called god, but no, Christians are the most useless and stubborn people I have ever known, worshiping a god who they can not see or touch, and even ready to die for him with the hope he will save them, at the end nothing happens, they all die, may your hopeless soul rest peacefully in the lion’s belle… I will so much enjoy watching the lion chew you like some pieces of meat, or wait I will even send a message to Vim, to come and watch too, he will be so glad and will even thank me for sending you to Madioh, maybe from there he will like me and we may become friends…hahahaha…while you rot away I keep blossoming, to hell with you and your god, I never liked you then, when my so called husband bought you and I saw you I hated your presence, I never knew you are the one all this while, serving Zity, I hate you even more now, now I understand why I dislike you with passion, get away from me evil termite, and when you manage to look up from the beast den you will see me and Vim laughing together at you with our glass of wine in hand….nobody can save you not even your useless god…
I was taken away in chains by the soldiers, Shamara never stopped crying, they put us into an open chariot and moved us down to Mandioh, it was a very long ride, on getting to mandioh’s big gate there were few crowd all around, some where throwing, pebbles, stones and rotten fruits at me, some where cursing and making fun of me and how I will be consumed and my god can not save me, when we got inside Mandioh’s cell quarters, I was locked with Shamara inside the same cell.
And I held her in the dark cell, trying to comfort her and to make her to stop crying,
as I began to tell her about the only one that can save us. She became quiet as she listened to me talk about God.
TAMAR, Episode 24.
Right there at the cell Shamara accepted Christ, she proclaimed Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and saviour, and was no more afraid of death, I was so glad,
And when we were called out after being in the cell for two days,
Mandioh stood there in a blue rob designed with gold, he was older than Adolfo Marely looking at him and his pot belle was protruding out like that of a pregnant woman, he was a very short man but speaks of wealth, and commands respect, he sat on his big lion head sit, and was surrounded with lion art work, all around him, he calls himself a lion god, people surrounds him, I can see Okra sitting at a far end, her face filled with smile, I told Shamara not to say a word I will speak for two of us and she agreed, Mandioh looks at us then back at Okra
“Okra, this ones will not do much for my lions, especially this skinny one, she doesn’t even have curves like the other one and no much flesh on her skin like her second, Okra the amount I paid you to fetch her out I was actually expecting something that will serve as dinner for my lions, this ones won’t do…you said Vim washed his hand off the slim one, I don’t want Lord Reese son’s trouble, that young man is filled with trouble…are you very sure…
“yes Mandioh, Vim said he doesn’t want to have anything to do with her, he said her god can have her, and the amount you paid me will also encourage me in fishing out the rest of the other infidels, those who worship strange god in our kingdom…this slim one, they call her termite, there is no need of wasting your time with her, her mistress even try to make her denounce her god, but the foolish girl refuse, she is ready to die for a useless god… she is a fanatic…but Vim made it clear to the sister, Zity that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with her, Zity told me that herself, the termite turned down his marriage proposal, which I’m so grateful to the gods that Vim, a royalty did not end up with this abominable looking thing…
“hahahah, good, I’m glad to know that Vim doesn’t want her, is a relief because I don’t want trouble from the second prime ruler’s son, they have power on their shoulder and I have built a good relationship with Vim so I don’t want anything that will stain it, you called her termite, is that her real name…but of all the whole beautiful and outstanding maiden of the soil, both royalty and normal born… what exactly did Vim see in this one or he was probably joking when he threw the marriage proposal to her…I still can’t understand, young lady what is your name and the name of your second…
“Tarmar, my lord, and this is Shamara…
“Tamar… Okra you are right, the name sound like termite….
There was outburst of laughter everywhere, as the few people gathered just kept laughing
“So Tar…mite, whatever that means…is it true you are a Christian, what god do you worship…
“The one true God, who true his son Jesus Christ I have being saved, I am a Christian.
There was murmuring everywhere and Mandioh ask everyone to remain silent, he asked me again and I answered boldly to the same thing, he asked Shamara and she also answered affirmatively, she was trying to be bold but I can see fear in her eyes as she answered Mandioh, she was determined, I whispered to her, that she has a choice to live if she still want to denounce Christ, I am not forcing her to believe is a personal choice, she may not return to Zity but she will be sold as a temple slave or to another household, with that she will have her life, she shakes her head and said she is not a fool, she knows what she wants and she really will not deny God just like me, even in death, then I encouraged her not to be afraid.
As there was a silent murmur and Mandioh was given us chance to have a change of mind but I turned to him and told him we won’t change our mind for anything.
“Do you know who you stand before…if you really know who I am, the god of lions… you will quickly have a change of mind, this is no joke… I will ask you two more times, giving you another chance to change your mind and live, a chance to walk away from here alive, because you don’t are not even enough food to my beast…which god do you serve…Tar…mar…
“the one true God, who has saved me through his son Jesus Christ, I serve the living God, not the gods of this land, made and carved by men, for the people who made them are just like them, they have mouth but can not speak, eyes but can not see, I am not afraid of you or your beast, I may sound foolish to you but not to my God…no other God in heaven or on earth except Jehovah, my defender…everyone listen… please listen to me even if is this once, turn from your ways and embrace Christ, he is just and ready to forgive and save you, he loves you more than you can ever imagine, tomorrow maybe too late, change from your idol worship and come to the light, I am not afraid of death because I know who is with me, you can’t see him with your visible eyes, he is right here and is beckoning on you all to come to him, all ye that labour and are heavy laden and he will give you rest, take his yoke upon you and lean on him, for he is meek and lowly in heart, and you shall find rest unto your souls, for his yoke is easy and his burden is light…
“hahahaha, this lady is really foolish, Okra you are right when you say she is a fanatic, this is total madness, well, let her invisible defender help her, boys take her and her second to the den, and let’s watch my beast chew them raw…they will be fun to look at..
They pushed us as the few crowd cheers, I can hear Okra’s laughter, she shouted at me as I walk pass her
“termite, I have sent message to Vim through one of Mandioh’s boys, before the lions eat you all Vim will be here to cheer along with us, he will soon arrive, no god can save you, your so called god will be laughing at your foolishness, I swear to you with every god of this land that you will die today and you will be forgotten like every Christian eaten away by those lions…
When we got to the mouth of the den, there was a lifter tray that will send us down below to the under ground, into the den, we were asked to walk into it and we obediently did, I wasn’t listening to the cheering crowd I was silently praying for them because they have being brainwashed and deceived, the whole place suddenly began to open up, out of sudden, somebody was opening it wide so that everyone can see how the lion will eat us up, I look up at them, they were cheering as they look down at us as the tray lifter slowly took us below, Shamara shut her eyes as she kept muttering “God please have mercy and save us, I’m afraid to die….please save us… I breathed deeply.
As I looked down I saw the ugly mighty lions, three of them, they moved all round their cage, as the lifter was gradually taking us down, the lions were eager to have their meal as they move around waiting, anticipating, they made a terrifying noise that got my whole body covered with goose bomb, Shamara shakes as she held onto me, Mandioh shout down below to us
“Have you changed your mind yet, one lucky chance again for you to be lifted out before you get to the mouth of the lion, I guess you have changed your mind, who do you serve, the gods of the land or the Christian god…
“may the gods of this land burn to ashes, I serve the one true God, Jehovah Rohi, which means Jehovah my shepherd, he alone is God, there is no other, not even death will make me turn away from him, for though he allows me to be wounded, he will also bandage me up, if he allows me to be strike, his hand will also heals, but even in death he will always…always be my God. For in him I have my being.
“May your soul rest peaceful in the belle of the beast stupid and foolish lady, is your stubbornness and pride that killed you because you had a chance to live but refuse instead you chose death.
I turned to a troubled Shamara and told her not to be afraid, that she should stand beside me and when we got to the den she should follow my every move so that death won’t feel so painful, that ones the lion is done with me, that’s if God allows them, then she should just breath in and spray out her hand so that when they come at her she will not feel too much pain, it will be so quick and they will be done with us, but that is if only God allows it, but I wasn’t afraid of anything, I have felt fear all over me as I saw the might beast walking around in expectant since they know that food was coming down for them and the noise from the people cheering at the lions make them so eager to feed on us, I have felt cold and fear and it quickly left me, then I started saying psalms 91. I kept saying psalms upon psalms, I said Psalm 91 repeatedly and then psalm 23.
I started shouting psalm 91 out loud, the few that came to my head, I shout it so that the people can hear, as we were lowered to the den, I can see human bones and skulls scattered everywhere, they were at every corner, all the people the lions has eaten, so many skulls and human bones were there, Shamara has started crying as she held unto me as if her life depends on it, I suddenly started hearing a familiar voice shouting down below to us,
“lie down…lie down flat and pretend to be dead.. The lions don’t eat dead people, Tamar I know you can hear me, please do as I say, lie down so that the animals will not hurt you much…pleaseeee…
The voice was a man, it was like an echo, but the crowd was too noisy and I couldn’t ascertain who it was, but I stood there ignoring who ever that maybe and sprayed out my hands in the air, I asked Shamara to lie down and pretend to be dead as the voice has instructed, she quickly did, there was light coming from the other end as the lions came in full view, I can hear the voice clearer now, it was Vim, he was screaming, he was shouting at Mandioh to get us out but it was already too late, the lion’s were gradually coming to us, they didn’t rush at us as expected, I opened my eyes and the first one moved around me, sniffing me all over, one dug its sharp teeth into my thigh then another follows, and I fell to the ground, and another was at shamara, they sniff at her to know if she is truly dead but Shamara became afraid and started shaking, they put their teeth to her hand and other part of her body, and I quickly went over with my bleeding thigh, the lions were not so quick to finish us up, something was holding them back, some invisible presence, the second one, dig again into my cheek, my face bleed, as they tried to find a better flesh to feed on, their teeth was all over me as I covered Shamara with my body, it seem my body was bitter as they keep putting their sharp fangs on me, it seem we were not a good meat for them as they kept putting their mouth and removing it as quickly as possible, but their teeth was all over my body but they never took a bite out of me,
The lions later left us alone, I was loosing too much blood and Shamara too, from the wound but I held on,
Suddenly there was a scream and then a hard thud to the ground, I gently look, it was Okra, Vim pushed her down, she fell heavily and blood splattered everywhere, she was still muttering “help me, Tamar please help me, tell your god to save me, I don’t want to die, no…no..I’m not ready to die now…tell your god to help me…
and as I try to open my mouth to say a word the lions rushed at her and I shut my eyes as they began to feed on her hungrily, I can hear the lifter bringing somebody else with speed down, and it was Mandioh, , I can hear him say, “Vim, Okra told me you washed your hands off her, I did not do this intentionally, I didn’t, it was Okra, she told me you are not interested in her that was why I proceeded, the people can bear me witness that I asked her, Vim tell them to lift me up from this lifter, tell them to take me up, those lions belong to me, they can not eat me, they are all mine, I own them… I am the lion god…
I can hear Vim screaming in pain…
“I will kill everyone one of you…all of you, go and get me a rifle, I will kill everyone one of you that has a hand in this, if she dies I will also kill as many people as possible today, this kingdom will not rest until everyone is brought down, go and get me a rifle quickly or you will be the next to go down to the lions stomach…
Mandioh was lowered, I opened my blood shot eyes wide in shock and watch as the lion rush him, I shut my eyes from the horrible sight, Shamara has loosed a lot of blood and was not moving again, she became weak at every passing seconds, I can hear Vim telling them to hurry, then suddenly, it was like a shovel that shovelled me and Shamara into the lifter and we were taking to the surface, I couldn’t move, I was covered in blood, all over, Vim was panicking as he asked a man to check if I was still breathing, and I hard the man who seem to be a physician told him I was not breathing, he said me and my second have loosed too much blood already, he told Vim that I was already dead, me and shamara were both dead.
I can hear everything yet I couldn’t move, as the physician told Vim that I was dead I started hearing a loud scream, Vim screaming, I wanted to shake, I wanted to say a word to show I wasn’t dead yet but I couldn’t, I just lay there in the pull of my own blood, but I can hear everything going on around me, I started hearing a heavy gun shot as the people flew in different direction, people were running, as I can hear their foot sound, then I guess Vim shot at the lions because of the terrible noise they all made, it was horror to the ear, everywhere was noisy, the gun shot continued, down below into the den as Vim kept shooting.
“Son lift this one to your shoulder, I will carry this one, let’s go and dispose them off…
It was the physicians voice, and I was lifted to somebody’ shoulder and after sometime, I was on a moving wheel, the strange voices, it seem to be the physician and his son, they spoke to each other, as the man asked the son to speed up before they will be caught, I over heard them say they were going to the far end of the fourth district, far off from where they took me and Shamara from. Darkness clouded me as it shot through me and I can’t hear or feel anything, I try to shout Jesus but I can’t move my mouth as darkness was pressing me deeply down
I kept saying the name in my mind and eventually I spoke it out loud,
“ son…hurry…fasten up…I just hard her call a name, she just mentioned somebody’s name, she is not really dead so we can’t use her for your practical, if we get to a safer place you park let’s see if we can attend to all this their deep wound, since she is still alive I guess her second should also be… listen, nobody must know that they are alive, because we have told everyone that they are both dead, and a go ahead has being given to us to go and dispose them at the burial ground, if they know that they are alive, especially that young mad man, Lord Vim, the second Prime ruler’s son will come for our head, so we have to be careful.
I was so weak that I couldn’t hear anything again as they kept on speaking, I wanted to listen to all their conversation but strength failed me, all I see is darkness and a tiny ray light coming from somewhere I can’t tell. But as tiny as the light is it was enough to hold onto. It makes me forget what pain feels like and right then I was smiling, I felt at peace as I saw the face smiling right back at me.
Even in the dark his face shone so bright.
