SELF BONDAGE 2
“what is really wrong with me? Am I cursed? This is too much,” I said to myself hitting the bed, trying to pour out my anger.
I remember the words of the different pastors I have met and I can’t help but start thinking about them.
“What can I do to really find out the cause of it?” I asked myself.
Immediately I remembered the words of pastor Mike asking me to fast and pray.
Fasting wasn’t easy for my but with the situation on ground I have to do it, so I declared fasting for myself.
My mother noticed during my second day of fasting and she too joined on the third day.
It has been over a week of fasting and there has been no revelation or vision about my problem but I wasn’t going to stop till God speaks to me.
I just finished praying and was studying the word of God when I dozed off.
“Gbemi, come let’s play,” a voice said and I turned back to see my childhood and best friend Brenda.
She was beckoning on me to join her in what she was doing.
I walked towards her with a smile on my face.
She stretch out her hand and snatched the doll I was holding and before I could react I woke up.
“What is the meaning of this dream, Brenda? But I have seen or heard from her for over seven years now,” I said to myself confused.
I pushed the dream aside when I couldn’t get any answer to it.
I continued with my prayers and fasting while still having the same dream.
At the end of the twenty one days fasting and praying the only thing I had was the dream which didn’t make any sense to me.
When I couldn’t get any answer I decided to meet with Pastor Mike, maybe he can explain to me.
“For how long have you had this dream?” He asked me when I finished narrating the dream.
“It started at the 7th day of the fasting and I had the same dream till the 21 days,” I replied.
“Do you know the girl in the dream?” He asked.
“Yes, Brenda was my best friend and childhood friends but I haven’t seen her or spoken to her for seven years now,” I replied.
“What is it she took from you that has left you angry till this day?” He asked me the question I have always tried to avoid, a question I have always feared to answer because of the painful memories it brings back.
I raised my head and looked to the ceiling and waved my head in pain, trying to push back the tears.
“She took what mattered to me most,” I said to him when I finally found my voice.
“Don’t you think it’s time you let it all out, you have held it in for too long, pour it out,” he said
Immediately I burst out crying, my tears refused to stop flowing, all the pain I thought I have buried kept flowing out.
I finally found my voice as I narrated all that happened.
I became friends with Brenda in primary six after she defended me from a bully.
Our friendship kick started from that point even when in secondary school.
We were in the same class, did everything together, even tho we had our difference.
She was the lively type, the life of the party, funny and beautiful that guys and men were after her from a young age while mine was the opposite but I never felt jealous of her.
By the time we were in university, she had alot of men flocking around her and those who comes for me ended up falling for her but it never bother me because I believe at the right time mine will come or so I thought.
Story by Samlex LOP
