๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐’๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐
ฟ๐
ฐ๐๐ ๐
ต๐
พ๐๐
Jumoke woke up by the next day in a better mood. It was like the night had erased the pain of what happened the day before, or maybe she just choose to push it to the back of her mind. As she left the bed, she planted a kiss on her husband’s forehead and scrambled from the bed before he would open his eyes.
Jumoke had ensured that she woke up earlier than usual to start preparation for the day in earnest. Her daily routine consisted mainly of cooking, general cleaning of the house and attending to various online and offline customers. Ever since she resigned from her banking job, she’d been engaged in the trading of both local and foreign clothing materials. Business was moving fine and she was okay combining it with other activities.
Kola and Jumoke had been married for three years and were waiting on God for the fruit of the womb. Jumoke had never missed her period for even a day since they got married. Visits to several hospitals gave Jumoke the diagnosis of a moderate case of hormonal imbalance. Nothing that couldn’t be corrected. Because of the discovery, she’d been on treatment for close to a year and they were expectant that something would happen soon.
A while ago, when she was having her quiet time, a verse in the bible had jumped at Jumoke. It wasn’t a new verse, but it gave a deeper meaning to her as she meditated on it.
๐ฉ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐
; ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐
, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐.
The Bible verse reminded her that she could cast every burdens and pains on Christ. She understood that worrying over issues do not resolve them, but rather compound problems. When one is faced with life challenges, it’s a pointer to the fact that positive actions must be taken. Actions like praying and seeking the face of God for direction and following God closely.
In her supplication, Jumoke prayed God to shield her husband from temptation and make him stand strong.
As Kola prepared to leave for work, she moved close to him and helped him to adjust his neck tie. “I’m sorry for my emotional outburst yesterday,” she said.
” I should be the one apologizing,” Kola responded. I acted irresponsibly. You deserved a better treatment. It will not happen again.”
That was it. The couple loved each other. They never kept grudges.
” It’s okay,” Jumoke said and kissed her husband fully on the lips. She drew back a little and gazed directly into his eyes.
” Don’t return late,” she said. ” Or, do you have an after-work engagement that I should know about?”
Kola dropped his eyes sharply and focused them on her lips. He had earlier been looking directly into her eyes. His hands trembled a little. Folake noticed. She repeated the question.
” Will you come home directly from the office?”
” Errr, yes.” Kola responded.
To Jumoke, his response wasn’t convincing enough. She asked again.
” Are you sure?”
” I will call you later,” Kola said, evading the question.
Jumoke narrowed her eyes and said okay. Raising a finger, she forced a smile. ” One more thing.”
” What is it?” Kola asked. ” I shouldn’t put my phone on silent mode?” He laughed as Jumoke eyed him.
“By my calculations, my ovulation is starting today. You know what that means, please don’t stress yourself at work.”
Kola nodded and drew his wife into his embrace. He tapped her gently on the back. ” God will answer us. It is well.”
Immediately Kola left for work, Jumoke sat down to think over and analyze their conversation. Well, they had flowed freely this morning with no hard feeling until when she asked if Kola had an after-work engagement. She had deliberately asked the question. She was still curious as to know what he had been going to do in Deaconess’ place. His response and body language almost made her conclude that Kola was truly hiding something from her. He had quickly averted his gaze when she asked the question. And then, his hands trembled a little.
But what could Kola be hiding? Jumoke asked herself. Maybe she should just hit the nail on the head by coming out straight. She should ask the question when he returned from work in the evening. Or, it might even be better if she sends a text message to him.
She would write…
I ๐
๐๐’๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐…
A knock sounded at the door and Jumoke sprang up. ” That should be Tosin,” she said. She hastened to open the door and rushed into the warm embrace of her friend.
“Hmmm, you smell nice as always,” Jumoke said. ” I didn’t know you will come so early. I should have prepared your favourite.”
” Don’t give me that,” Tosin said in a mock serious tone, raising her palm. “I am here with you till the time that the children will close from school and I will go and pick them. There will be enough time to gist after which you will enter that kitchen,” she pointed to the kitchen, “and prepare that your special Jollof rice. Even with the recipe that you gave me, I have never been able to make one as nice as yours. I’m always looking for an opportunity to come here and eat your Jollof rice.”
” Hmmm” Jumoke sighed, frowning.
” What is it? Tosin asked with concern. ” Did I say anything wrong.
Both were already seated on the sofa. “Not at all,” Jumoke responded. “It’s just the way you praised my cooking. Kola seems to have a contrary view. Yesterday, he ate at Deaconess Beatrice’s house and returned home to suggest that I should go to her so that she could teach me how to cook.”
” Juuuumooke,” Tosin drawled. ” Was that how he put it? I have always known you as a worrier but this one is on another level. Maybe Uncle Kola was only joking. I don’t like the way you are reading meaning to every of his actions and words. Let’s even take it that your husband is doing something that you don’t want, worrying cannot stop him o. You would only be harming yourself. Baby girl, put yourself together. By the way, have you even prayed about your suspicion?”
” Yes I did. Infact, after my quiet time today, I had a sort of peace on the matter. The peace only lasted till when Kola was about to leave for work. I asked if he had any engagement that would make him come home late. I studied his face. You won’t believe it. He lied. I knew he was lying because he couldn’t look at me eyeball to eyeball. That gave the confirmation that he was hiding something.”
” Juuhmmy. Don’t continue looking for problem where there is none. You will just be giving yourself heartache. You said that you studied his face or whatever, does that make any difference? He will be at work having his day and you will be here biting your fingers on mere suspicion. You said you have prayed. Fine. If you still have the feeling that he’s hiding something from you, pray more. Then, feel free to talk to him about your worries. Is he not your husband? He would listen to you. After you might have raised the issue, don’t stop praying. Don’t ever make the mistake of suggesting same thing all the time. At times, it is we that open our husbands’ eyes to some particular features in our supposed rivals. When you keep mentioning specific features as you nag, you will indirectly point them out to your spouse. An average woman would tell the husband, is it because that woman has big bumbum and I don’t have? Is that why you are running after her? The next time the husband meets the woman you are suspecting him with, he would look and look again. He begins to lust. You continue fighting over the person on daily basis. He realizes that you are feeling insecure and begin to believe that the person is better than you. That is how it starts. The devil has a way of making such things to linger in the mind. Please don’t push your husband towards anyone. Pray. Do your wifely duties and be happy.”
“Ha!” Jumoke exclaimed. “Marriage has lots of ups and down. I never bargained for this.”
“Kilo tiiiiri? What have you seen?” Tosin asked. ” We’ve all had our various challenges. I’m going to tell you something that I have never told a living soul except of course, a marriage counselor and our Pastor’s wife.”
“Marriage counselor?”
“Are you suprised?” Tosin asked and adjusted on her seat. “Our first three years of marriage was turbulent. It was so bad that we had to visit a counsellor.”
Jumoke looked at her friend like she was seeing a stranger. She managed to voice out. ” You’ve always looked like someone that is enjoying her marriage.”
“Yes I am, at least now. But before now, we had very serious issues. It was only God that helped us. I’m telling you this because I want you to know that no matter the problem, there is always a way especially if the couples are ready to make things work.”
“What kind of challenge did you people face?” Jumoke was eager to hear gist.
Tosin smiled and drew closer to her friend. She whispered into her ears. ” Kelvin was hypers@xual.”
“Hen? Hyper?”
They both burst into laughter.
“No be small thing o. My first three years in his house was hell.”
Jumoke placed a palm on her chest. ” I thought that fervent brothers do more of prayers and less of bedroom activities. My own husband is hypo.”
“I was also suprised. Kelvin was preoccupied with s@x. He was always after me. Everyday; morning, afternoon night. It was so much that I started hating him for it. The worst was that I wasn’t enjoying it. Tension began to grow between us and I started running away from him. Because I wasn’t fulfilling my wifely obligation, Kelvin began suspecting that I was giving my body to other men.
” Noooo, how could he even think of that.”
” He would suspect me with my colleagues at work, the men that do menial jobs for us at home, every unlikely men, I started fighting him and becoming stubborn.”
“I didn’t know that you went through all this.”
” The day that I realized that fighting and being stubborn wouldn’t stop the problem, I went to God in prayers. I told God that I was sure that Kelvin was his choice for me, so I choose to return to tell God to work on him. I told God to open my spiritual eyes to the solution to our marital crisis. You see! s@x issue is one of the major problem facing christian couples. Though we often shy away from talking about it. So many people are not enjoying their s@x life but are dying in silence. It might interest you to know that God is interested in your s@xual intimacy with your spouse. I refused to die in silence.”
“Hmm, it’s true that so many people are dying in silence o,” Jumoke said. “Like me. I have never enjoyed s@x. I have always wished that Kola would be more active in bed. He only shows interest once in a while. Even at those times, he would just enter, pour and that is all. No romance, nothing.”
” Then you tell him what you want.”
” Rara o.”
” My dear, he’s your husband. Not telling him what you want amounts to pretense. You always say that you both are open to each other. Now I see that you’ve been practicing selective openness.”
” Anyway, how did you overcome your challenge abi you are still….
“Rara o, everything is now balanced. We’ve come to a middle point where no one feels cheated. But before now, I was dying in silence until something happened that changed our story…
TO BE CONTINUED
ยฉBosede Fagbemi
There’s a lot going on in homes.
Lots of couples are dying in silence, most often on issues that could be easily resolved.
Tosin said she and her spouse visited a marriage counselor when they had crisis in their home.
What’s your take about inviting counselors to resolve marital crisis?
