MY FACEBOOK GIRL SEASON 5
EPISODE 4
On Friday of the same week,, I woke up very early in the morning as usual to prepare for work, I left home and arrived at work by 7:15am. I walked into the bank, went straight to my desk to pray. I later joined the general connect session which was been held at the E-banking unit. I started the daily duties at few minutes past 8am but I noticed that Funmi wasn’t around. I went to her office to check on her and she wasn’t there. As I was returning back to my seat, the “gossip crew” who are my co-workers on the same floor started firing questions at me.
“Onihaxy, where is your sugar mummy”?
“Why is she not in office yet?”
” I know that you aren’t comfortable since morning”
” You didn’t just have any choice than to go and check her in her office”
” Why not call her on phone?”
I just can’t help it but to shake my head for them, I was like “why can’t these people just mind their own business for once in their life”.
I returned to my seat and dialed her number but it wasn’t reachable. I tried her second line and it was ringing but she didn’t pick up. I dropped my phone on the desk and continued with my work. Around 9am, Funmi walked into the office floor and we all greeted her. The look on her face wasn’t the normal Funmi I used to know, even when she got to my table, she didn’t smile at me like she used to do. She walked into her office and shut the door while my other co-staffs began to look at me in a surprised manner. I was confused and I was like
“What could be going on?”
“She didn’t pick up my calls?”
“She didn’t smile at me as usual?”
“She was late to work”
“And she appeared to be moody”
“I must check on her during break time”
“I must find out what is going on”
“I hope I haven’t offended this woman”
“I’m very sure I didn’t offend her”
I stopped worrying myself over Funmi and I decided to concentrate on my work. At few minutes to 12pm, my phone was ringing, with anxiety in my heart, I rushed to check who was calling, hoping maybe the call was from Funmi but I hissed when I checked the screen and I found out that the call was from Adebimpe. I picked up and we started talking.
ME: ***frowned*** hello.
BIMPE: hello dear, good afternoon
ME: good afternoon
BIMPE: how is work going?
ME: it’s going fine, and yours?
BIMPE: fine too. You promised to call yesterday evening but you didn’t. Why?
ME: I’m so sorry about that Adebimpe. I didn’t have airtime on my phone and I am not too boxed up to recharge, I’m seriously broke
BIMPE: eeeyah, but why didn’t you tell me when I called you yesterday morning.
ME: I just don’t want to bother you with my problems.
BIMPE: you are not serious Onihaxy. Have you forgotten that Betty handed you over to me while she was travelling?
ME: handed me over to you?
BIMPE: yes, she said I should take good care of you and make sure you didn’t lack anything. So for now, I’m your mother here in Lagos and your acting wife at the same time. So you should be free to talk to me anytime and ask for anything you can ask from Betty.
ME: you are funny Bimpe.
FUNMI: *****opens her door and was about coming out of her office****
ME: Bimpe please hold on, my boss is coming.
BIMPE: ok, flash me when you are free ***hanged up*****
FUNMI: ***** walked out of her office and went out through the main door without talking to me****
ME: *****wondering what could be happening to Funmi while I was scrolling through my phone to check a message that just came in and I realized it was a credit transfer of N1,500 from Adebimpe. I decided to call her back***** Hello Bimpe.
BIMPE: hi dear, hope you got the credit transfer?
ME: yes I did thanks so much.
BIMPE: you are welcome. Please I will call you back in the evening; I have a patient to attend to.
ME: ok, bye ****
I stepped out of the office and went out to eat lunch at the nearby canteen. I got to the park and couldn’t find Funmi’s car at the usual parking spot and I believed she drove out of the bank premises. I got to the canteen, finished eating, and I drove back to the bank and I still couldn’t find Funmi’s car at the park. I was like “maybe she hadn’t returned from where she went to”, I parked my car and went inside the banking hall and straight to my office. I was surprised to see Funmi at the grand floor discussing with one of the superiors on the floor while I was going to my office.I got to my seat and I was wondering what could be happening to Funmi. I later ignored it and concentrate on my work.
Funmi came in some minutes later and when she reached my desk, she stopped and said “Onihaxy, see me in my office right away”.
I got scared and I stood up immediately and followed her inside her office. I shut the door and she told me to sit down.
FUNMI: Onihaxy, I’m sorry for my reactions to you since morning, I am not really in good mood.
ME: I thought as much. I called you in the morning and you didn’t pick up, What really happened?, sorry to ask.
FUNMI: my car broke down in the middle of the road, and I was robbed by a passerby who stopped by in a disguise to help me. My back was snatched and I lost everything. I had to chatter a taxi to work and that’s why I was late.
ME: eeyah. So sorry about that, no wonder my calls weren’t picked up.
FUNMI: its ok, no problem. Where are you going today after work?
ME: nowhere, I will be going home. Why did you ask?
FUNMI: I need a favor from you.
ME: what is it?
FUNMI: please I want you to drop me at home today. Please, can you do that?
ME: no problem.
FUNMI: alright dear, you can leave now.
ME: ok boss.
I left her office and I was wondering why she wanted me to drop her at home when she has access to official cars in the bank compound with drivers available at her peck and call.
I returned to my desk wondering why she wanted me to drop her off.
“But she has an official car attached to her”
” There are even lazy drivers hanging around the bank”
“She can take a cab sef”
“Then why me?”
I decided to hint my guy on whatsapp about the latest development.
ME: hi Segun
SEGE: how far Onihaxy?
ME: I dey jaree. Something happened today.
SEGE: ehn ehn?, what happened?
ME: Funmi came late to work today; her mood was so bad since morning that she didn’t talk to anyone.
SEGE: really?
ME: yeah. I even called her in the morning to ask her why she wasn’t at work in the morning.
SEGE: as per say you be her boo abi?
ME: you no well Segun. As I was saying, I called and she wasn’t picking up.
SEGE: so really happened to her?
ME: I later went to meet her in her office and that was when she told me that her car broke down in the morning. The worst part was that, two men stopped by in a pretence to help her, only for handbag to be snatched by the guys, that was why she couldn’t pick up her calls as her phones were gone.
SEGE: eeeyah, so sorry about the loss oooo. “The king’s house that got burnt will be replaced by a more beautiful house”
ME: thank you oooo. Do you know the most amazing thing?
SEGE: what is that?
ME: she is entitled to an official car and a driver. But yet, she wanted me to take her home tonight after work.
SEGE: Onihaxy, hmmmm. Like seriously, I’m seeing things……
ME: na wetin you dey see oooo?
SEGE: a light at the end of the tunnel.
ME: which tunnel ooo?
SEGE: don’t worry. Let me just tell you this. In case you see a good pitch tonight, together with an avenue to play a good match, do not hesitate to score a very nice goal and hit the net so hard, the commentary will never be forgotten.
ME: hmmmmmmmmmm, bad guy.
SEGE: I dey tell you my guy.
ME: let’s chat later; I have to do some works now.
SEGE: no wahala. Just make sure you give me better gist later ooo
ME: I hear.
SEGE: Later things.
I suspended my chats with Segun and resumed my work and I continued this until the close of business for the day at 7pm. I waited for some minutes to chat with my friends at work and like after twenty minutes, they all left me and went home. I tried calling Funmi but I remembered that her phone and bags had been stolen; I decided to visit her in her office to remind her that I was waiting for her. On getting to her office, I saw her busy typing her keyboard while looking at the screen on her laptop. She rose up her head, saw me and she said “Onihaxy, please don’t be offended, just give me like twenty to thirty minutes, I should be done by then. This report I’m sending is very important and I have to finish it up today”. I nodded in agreement and said “its ok, no problem” as I turned back and returned to my desk to wait for her.
I engaged Betty and Segun in chats to while away time as I was seated on my desk and waiting for Funmi to come out of her office. I waited until few minutes past 8pm when Funmi eventually came out her office. She locked her door and walked closer to me.
FUNMI: I’m so sorry Onihaxy, I had to collate this week’s report and send to my boss, that was what took my time.
ME: no problem, it’s ok.
FUNMI: hope I haven’t taken too much of your time. Or are you going somewhere?
ME: not at all, I’m not going anywhere
FUNMI: that’s fine then. Let me compensate you for the delay. We are hanging out tonight.
ME: ***grin**** hanging out?
FUNMI: yeah. Or is there any problem with that?
ME: not at all.
FUNMI: or you are wondering if I really meant what I said?
ME: yeah, something like that
FUNMI: funny you Onihaxy. Every hard working person must always create time to have fun and relax the brain sometimes you know. All work and no play make one a miserable worker.
ME: that’s true, you are right.
FUNMI: Alright, let’s go.
ME: who will drive?, you or I?
FUNMI: it’s your car man, so you should drive it.
ME: ****smiled**** no problem.
Funmi and I walked out of the office and went to the car park. I opened the door of the driver side and entered into the car while Funmi entered from the other side. I was about to drive when I remembered that I don’t even know where I was going to. I asked Funmilayo “hi boss, so where exactly are we going?”. Funmi turned to me and smile while she was pulling out the seat belt and she said ” we are going to somewhere around ikeja. Just drive, I will give you the directions”. I started the car engine and we drove out of the bank.
I drove out of the bank with Funmilayo sitting beside me and we started to gist and discuss on our way.
FUNMI: so you always hang out like this every Fridays?
ME: not at all, just once in a while.
FUNMI: like how often?
ME: like ones in a month sha.
FUNMI: hmmmmmmmm. You are forming holy saint abi?
ME: **smiled** I’m serious Funmi, I’m not really the outing type, except once in a while when my friends pressurize me to go out with them.
FUNMI: it’s hard to believe sha.
ME: haba, what makes you think so?
FUNMI: a cute guy like you?, driving a cool ride?, and you won’t be going out to have fun?.
ME: funny you Funmi. But like seriously, I hardly go out sha.
FUNMI: so, what brand do you drink?
ME: malt and coke.
FUNMI: are you joking?
ME: I’m serious Funmi. I don’t drink. The highest I can take is energy drink.
FUNMI: energy drink? ****clears throat*** what for?
ME: **smiled*** what I mean is that if there isn’t a coke or malt, the next thing I can take is an energy drink.
FUNMI: like bullet right?
ME: not at all. I mean non-alcoholic ones.
FUNMI: I don’t believe you anyway. So how is your wife?, are you hearing from her?
ME: my wife?, who?
FUNMI: the lady you always go home with.
ME: oooooooh, you mean Benita?
FUNMI: yeah.
ME: she is not my wife oooooo.
FUNMI: and you always go home and then come to work together abi?
ME: her road was just on my path, so I do help her by picking her up in the morning and then dropping her in the evening.
FUNMI: was she the only person in the bank living along your path?
ME: I don’t think so.
FUNMI: then why is she the only one you always pick up in the morning and drop later at nights?
ME: ****smiled****** it’s not what you think Funmilayo. She was the only one who approached me for help in picking her up every morning, others didn’t.
FUNMI: what about the periods you were living together at your apartment in Maryland?
ME: **** surprised ***** who told you that we lived together?
FUNMI: forget that one Onihaxy. Do you really think I don’t know?
ME: we never lived together Funmi.
FUNMI: never mind then. So where is she now?
ME: I think she is in rivers state.
FUNMI: is she working there?
ME: no oo, she went to visit her fiancé. But she told me that she would hunt for jobs there.
FUNMI: ok, her fiancée stays in rivers State right?
ME: yes.
FUNMI: is he working there too?
ME: I think so.
FUNMI: ***smiled**** Onihaxy!!!!!!!
ME: what is that?
FUNMI: but you told me that her fiancé lived in same street with you?
ME: *** chaii!!!!! ***** yeah, that was what she told me earlier, only for her to tell me later that her fiancé lives in rivers state.
FUNMI: my regards to her anyways.
I began to wonder how Funmi got to know that Benita lived with me.
“Could it be true that she knew?”
“Or maybe she was just pulling my legs”
“Or people don carry rumours reach her side?”
“But no one knew about it except my closest friends and Benita closest friends too”
We arrived at a bar and we located two empty seats and we sat down. The bar man came to meet us and I was surprised when Funmi ordered for two bottles of Guinness and a plate of pepper soup. She asked me what I wanted and I told her energy drink is ok for me. Funmi told the barman to give me 2 cans of energy drink and a plate of pepper soup. The fear of the fees gripped me and it was so obvious on my face as I was staring at the barman while he was walking away. “Calm down Onihaxy, the bill is on me. After all, I am the one compensating you for delaying you.” Funmi said as she noticed how I was looking at the guy. I replied her “haba, money isn’t a problem na. How much is it sef?”.
The barman arrived with our order and we started to eat and drink and having series of gist along the line. Funmi was laughing out loudly to every of my jokes and we were relating like mates, the whole atmosphere was devoid of boss to staff relationship. Funmi ordered for three more bottles and that was when I began to realize that I was on a long thing.
I checked the time and it was few minutes to 11pm. Funmi had started acting Funmi like someone who drank to stupor and she began to say funny things.
“Onihaxy, nothing dey happen”
” What happened to my car sef?”
” Onihaxy, someone must receive query on monday”
” Onihaxy, I need two more bottles”
” Don’t mind me. I’m not drunk ooo”
From all what Funmi was spewing out, I need no soothsayers to tell me that Funmi was indeed drunk. I called the barman and asked him how much we are paying, he told me the price and I picked Funmi’s purse and paid him. I tapped Funmi to let us start going but she was behaving funny. I held her hand and lifted her up while I walked in the front hoping that she was following me. To my surprise, I looked back and realized that Funmi had fallen down back to the chair. “Chai, wahala dey oooo”, I walked backwards to lift her up and take her to the car but I realized that she was too heavy for me. I looked around and I saw some guys having their drinks at the other table. I walked up to them and beg them to assist me in taking this woman to the car. They laughed at me as two of them stood up and followed me to help me.
They held Funmi and walked her to the car as I carried her bag and led them. I started the car engine and drove off from the bar after thanking the guys that helped me. I drove straight to Funmilayo’s house in the estate where she lives. I picked her keys from her bag and opened her main gate to enter. I parked my car and stopped the car engine. I looked at clock on my dashboard and it was 12:09am. “Thank God tomorrow is Saturday. How do I get back home at this mid-night?”, I was so tired and weak as I alighted from the car. I was still holding her bunch of keys and I walked towards her main door, I tried several keys until I was able to open the door. I switched on the lights and I returned to the car to pick Funmi. She was staggering and saying funny things as I took her inside the main house. I didn’t see anyone at home as we walked to her room. We got to her room and I opened the door and took her inside. I made her sit on the bed while I sat on the sofa in her room to brainstorm on how to get back home in that midnight. I got the greatest shock of my life when Funmilayo stood up and staggered to the wardrobe. She pulled of her clothes including her bra. She has only pants on her and she brought out a night gown and put it on.
I was like “maybe she didn’t realized that I was here probably because she was drunk”, but Funmi surprised me when she dipped her hand underneath the gown and pulled off her pant and threw it inside her wardrobe. I sensed danger immediately and I stood up to start going out before someone accuse me of rape because of her drunk state, but Funmi walked closer and pushed me to the bed. I fell flat on my back and she came for me and sat on my laps.
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 5
