ABUSED..
Episode 20
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I hurried to the bathroom as soon as I got home. My heart in my mouth as I conduct the test. Behold, the result is positive. My heart sank as I found out that there is life growing inside of me.
I can’t believe I am pregnant but I have never missed my pills – how come? I walked to my room; my thoughts were muddled up as I held my stomach pondering what the fate of this child would be๐ฉ.
Why now? For the life of me! I just want to build my life on a different chapter and now this. Worse off, I don’t even know whose child it is. This is history trying to repeat itself. I grew up verbally abused and not knowing my father and now I am with a child not knowing whose it is.
I thought about my past, how mother pegged me all sorts of vilifying names and told me I won’t amount to anything good. How worthless I was, how I ruined her life and how doomed I am.
The words kept echoing in my room loudly, I covered my ears and screamed
” No!! I won’t let history repeats itself. You have to go” I spoke as though I could see the child inside of me. I cried bitterly remembering my ordeal.
This child can’t come to this world; I can’t allow this child ruin my life like I ruined mother’s. I went downstairs to the bar and poured myself a drink.
The hotness I felt in my chest as I downed the drink was ironically soothing to my pain. I was about taking another round when I heard a car driving into the compound – that must be Ella.
I took the drink to the living room and sank into the couch; just then Ella came as I took the drink. She is happy I could tell as she danced towards me
” Babes, money pass money. hah! You miss, aside the money wey we bargain with the man. He dash me plenty money”
She opened her bag and flung the wads of naira and dollars”.
” No be small thing o” I exclaimed
” Yes o. Madam M no happy for you o. But I gat tell her say you fit well”.
” Ok. Leave her jare”
” This one you are drinking. What are you drinking to”
” To Ella’s new status as a Godmother”
” What!! That reminds me I bought it ”
” Don’t worry! I have done it. Doctor Ella, it’s positive”.
She shouted in excitement and danced around
” Wow! We are expanding. Someone is going to be a mother and I godmother.”
I walked upstairs to my room, I need to rest; Ella followed me telling me different names for the child”
I was bemused by her expression, she is so excited for me. I pulled out a pack of cigarettes from my bag and lit up
” Ruth! No! You don’t smoke while in this condition”
” Doctor Ella, I am not keeping this child”๐ฌ
” What! ”
” I’m getting rid of it’
” Ruth! Why?”
” I’m not prepared for motherhood”
” Ruth common on! You just said you want to quit this trade. I see God giving you something to build and live for”
” You make me laugh Ella, a child I got from the trade that I don’t know it’s father”
” It doesn’t matter. Don’t deny me the opportunity of being a Godmother sis”
” You are not serious Ella, you just want to be a Godmother”
” Yes jare. You have got no family and now fate has brought you one”
” No fate it trying to repeat the same pattern I went through. Instead of me to bring a being I am not prepared for. I rather let it go to a better place”
” Ruth you are being selfish! Do you know how many women are dying to host a child in their womb. You past is trying to blindfold you. This child had nothing to do with it”
” For the fact that both of us don’t know our father, it’s got something to do with it. Fate should have grant those who need it not me”
” Ruth please don’t do this. I see you as a sister and I won’t subscribe to abortion”
” Ok. I have heard you”
” So we are having her”
I smiled at her not wanting to continue the conversation as my mind is made already.
Ella is like a sister to me, she has been there for me than my family. I hate to make her feel bad but I am not really ready for this child. I just got to terminate it.
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It’s been three days since I discovered I was pregnant; my life is taking a different path, having organized my businesses and focus on them.
I met madam M yesterday, she wasn’t happy to see me go but I told her my mind was made up. She demanded I pay her โฆ5M as a price to call off the contract. Negotiation was out of it; Madam M don’t joke with money. I saw new faces at her place indicating recruits into her business.
I agreed to pay, I really want to get off her hook. I paid the ransom via transfer and she tore the contract info pieces
” Ruth, I truly hate to see you leave. You have made me quite a fortune but with the new girls I have to let you go. Just so you know once a harlot always one” she said in a mocking voice.
That day I felt free from her clutches, that feeling of freedom I experienced when I got of prison was replayed in my heart. I walked out a free person the second time.
This time not confused about my life like the first time, but settled.
Today I decided to spend my time in my fashion house. The staff are doing a great job I must commend; I need to expand and make my brand one of the biggest.
It’s barely noon, the thought of the child kept distracting me making me loose interest with what I was designing on paper.
I think it’s time I sort this out; I called my manager instructed him on what to do before I left.
Driving to a different part of town I got to a pharmacy. I know about an abortifacient drug that would easy the process for me.
The pharmacist was reluctant to give me the drug but I persisted telling her I would pay her heavy. but wait a minute! Why sell such drugs if you are feeling bad and looking at your costumers disgustingly.
People can be funny. Anyways, I got the drugs and headed home.
Ella’s car was not parked in compound I noticed as I drove in, it’s better. I don’t want her to be around.
I opened the door and went straight to the kitchen, opened the drugs. I took double of the prescription – I want things to go fast.
I walked to the living room, sitting on the sofa. I felt nothing like I didn’t take anything. It seems this lady gave me something else I thought.
About thirty minutes later, I felt a sharp pain around my abdomen. I sluggishly walked up stairs to my room. I barely reach my bed when the pain hit me hard; I screamed๐ฑ
It was like a thunderstorm in my stomach, I was wreathing in pains as each pangs hit me hard. I felt something thick and wet running down my legs. The pains were unbearable as the blood flows out.
I was lying on the floor helplessly, felt crushed by the thunder bolts in my stomach. I couldn’t breathe, I am loosing myself.
I couldn’t reach out for my phone to call Ella
” E..lla ” I could barely mutter
I think this is the end for me as I felt overwhelmed with pains, my visions were getting blurry. Without much struggle I gave in to the darkness that held me…
To be continued..
Why take double,u want die?