JEREMY
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Episode 4
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“Jeremy! You slapped me?” Were the only words I was able to mutter.
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This was a first, I suppose. Until now, Jeremy had never touched me or given me cause to think that he was capable of letting his rage drive him to do this.
I didn’t really think he could.
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I mean, I’ve always felt that, despite all of his pretenses, I knew Jeremy well. I’ve always wanted to think that he was simply being overly devoted and protective of his love.
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Jeremy can be charming when he wants to. He is my “big puppy.”
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I had trouble processing what had just transpired.
It took me some time to fully comprehend that “my Jeremy” had just laid his hand on me in a manner that brought me pain—so much so that my eyes briefly caught sight of stars.
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My legs, which had been “grounded,” immediately became the lightest they had ever been as soon as I came to my senses. I began to move as quickly as my short legs would allow.
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The idea was to reach safety first and then move on to other things.
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At first, Jeremy didn’t appear to feel bad about what he had just done. No, not in the sense of the word. It was actually the opposite. Jeremy was literally justifying his actions. In an effort to guilt-trip me.
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Jeremy gave me the impression that I was to blame for motivating him to do what he did.
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Jeremy is good with words. He’s a master manipulator. So good, I actually began to believe that I might have been the problem and all Jeremy was doing was just trying to fix me.
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“Look at what you made me do, baby. How could you? I made a lifelong commitment to never touch a lady this way. Look what you forced me to do! You pushed me to this, babe. YOU PUSHED ME TO IT. I hate myself right now, and I’m trying my hardest not to hate you too. How could you do this to me? To the best of my ability, all I’ve ever done is love you. I’ve only ever worked to keep what I have in you hidden from prying eyes. The only thing I ever did wrong, in my opinion, was to treat you like no one’s business while making sure you never lost sight of what really matters—ME, baby, ME! Not so much the chauffeur who just dropped you off. Not that lazy cheat at work who acts all kind but is really just looking for more. And certainly none of those lying asses who go about telling you how gorgeous you are, saying pleasant things that they imagine you want to hear, only to get in between your legs.
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Jeremy continued to ramble, spewing nonsense.
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I continued to walk while also sobbing the entire time.
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I cried bitterly, running rivulets of disappointment down my cheeks.
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I was so overcome with emotion that I was unable to think clearly.
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No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t figure out what to think.
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“You just got hit by Jeremy!” Were the only words that remained in my head.
There was a constant repetition of these words.
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My eyes began to water more and more as I considered what had just transpired.
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“How could that dunderhead do that?” He didn’t have the right to slap you. Nothing you do will ever make his actions acceptable. He can’t just get mad and raise his filthy hands to hit you. No, he cannot. You should be treated like a princess because that is what you are. Trust me, baby, it will only get worse if he just slapped you for something you’re still not totally sure of. He’ll just become worse. He is a beast. It’s not right for you to be around animals. There is no place in your life for a man who can’t control his rage when his spouse allegedly slams him against a wall. You’re fortunate that it’s only a smack this time. The next time, your luck might not be as good. This has always been the man you fell in love with. You saw all these signs but chose to ignore them.” I instinctively looked behind me for Jeremy.
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“Start running right now. Run out of sight and away from his life.”
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The harsh advice and reproaches coming from the voices in my head were practically driving me insane.
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All the while, Jeremy was still talking. His brief movements coincided with what appeared to be me running.
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I started to take to my heels because it was clear that there was no way to out-walk Jeremy when I suddenly had the sensation that I was defying gravity.
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I was suddenly suspended for what felt like hours in the air.
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“Where were you running to, baby? Are you trying to get away from me?” Jeremy asked in a mean way but with a straight face. “I am asking you, baby, who was that guy that just dropped you?”
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I remained silent.
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“WHY DON’T YOU RESPOND TO ANY OF MY QUESTIONS?” Jeremy yelled at me.
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I’d now landed with a thud, and the agonizing pain that occurred as a result was incomprehensible. I was in awe. My head started to spin. None of these were believable to me.
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Being exposed to this side of Jeremy for the first time in our two-year relationship was shocking in the extreme.
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I didn’t understand how Jeremy could be so harsh with me. I could never have imagined that Jeremy could watch me suffer so much, and instead of doing something to ease my suffering, he was simply exacerbating it.
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Hell! He was inflicting these pains on me.
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Before he continued his inquiries, Jeremy grabbed me off the floor and pulled me quickly up until I was standing, weak, bathed in my own tears, and shaking on my legs. I was unsure of what was going to happen next.
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“I asked you a question, baby. Where are you running to? Who was the man that dropped you off?”
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I was silent. I remained motionless, gazing at Jeremy. I wasn’t trying to aggravate him; I was simply too stunned and perplexed to speak.
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“Babe! Why in heaven’s name are you not answering my questions na?” Jeremy snapped at me.
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Jeremy started shaking me. I was shaken so violently by Jeremy that it appeared to be an attempt to get the answers to his queries to fall out of me.
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When it became clear that my silence was now enraging Jeremy, I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing was said. I was still at a loss for words. Although I could tell the truth, doing so may get me into more trouble than I currently appear to be, and I was in too much of a state to even contemplate concocting another lie.
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I had forgotten the first “believable lie” I had concocted because of how astonished I had been by all Jeremy had done that evening.
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To encourage me to communicate, Jeremy gave me a few more slaps, yelling at the top of his lungs. It was still ineffective.
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For some sick reason, a part of me was still trying to be fair with what Jeremy had been up to up until this point. I was starting to think that I had actually prodded Jeremy into touching me.
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I briefly thought that Jeremy was sincerely upset with me because I forced him to do something he had vowed never to do. i.e., hit a woman. I genuinely thought he was just getting mad at me because he was disappointed.
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Even though it most likely doesn’t make sense now, at the time, I can assure you that it did.
Well, until it didn’t.
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“What does he want me to say specifically? He must already be aware of everything na, in order to have deserved this beating.”
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At that very moment, I realized that this Jeremy was very different from the kind of man I like.
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That evening, Jeremy showed me an animalistic side of himself that made me doubt whether he actually loved me as much as he had claimed to throughout our relationship.
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I questioned whether I would ever be able to get over that night and be cool with Jeremy once more.
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I was finally able to mutter “Samuel.”
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Jeremy was familiar with Samuel. He’s always thought the man was up to something bad. It was one of the reasons I found it so challenging to inform him that I had spent the entire day at Samuel’s place.
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“Please repeat what you just said,” Jeremy asked politely. “And this time, if you could be a little louder.”
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I exhaled a long breath and said, “Sa…Samuel! It was Samuel that dropped me off.”
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“Oh! Samuel. Wait, babe. Is this Samuel the same guy you said was just a coworker? Is he the same person you told me you saw, huh, just like a brother? The same Samuel you described as just…”
To be continued…
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Moshood Avidiime
