Øgbanjé. Part 7.
“My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?”.
It wasn’t Jesus shouting this time around. It was me. I was frustrated…no! I was already at the end of myself.
“Where do I go from here? Where do I start from? Haven’t I been praying enough? Haven’t I fasted enough?”.
I was completely frustrated and desolate. My faith was shaken.
I picked my phone and called my mom.
“Mama! I don’t think there’s a God anywhere! We were lied to”. I said with tears.
“Meshionu osiso!” My mother rebuked me.
“No mama! I won’t be silent. How could he just sit and do nothing? They call him the almighty “. I scoffed scornfully.
“Is he even mighty to begin with?”. I questioned.
My mother started crying 😭.
“What has gotten into you Amaka? Ogini? Why are you insulting your maker?”. My mother asked with tears.
“First, innocent people died, I didn’t stop believing in him. Secondly, your pastor came to conduct deliverance. He made us believe that we were truly delivered. Jokes on us”. I started laughing like a mad woman.
“Amaka please. I know it’s hard but don’t stop believing in God”. My mother pleaded in tears.
“God?? I don’t think I will ever ask him for anything! He watched us move from grace to grass and did nothing. Absolutely nothing! Why should I bother myself to ask him for anything?”. I screamed.
“My pastor will come to your house tomorrow. There’s nothing God cannot do”. My mother said.
“I don’t want to ever see him in my house! Since he came to my house, it has been from one problem to the other. I just called to tell you that there’s no God anywhere “. I said and hung up.
Later that day, my husband woke up. I was so glad.
“Hope everything was a dream?”. That was the first question my husband asked when he woke up.
My smiles turned into sadness.
“Honey you just woke up. The doctor said your BP is high. Please calm down…”
“Are you saying all those things happened for real? My shop was truly burgled? Our house really got burnt?”. My husband asked.
I broke into tears.
“Honey please calm down. I don’t want to lose you too”. I pleaded.
“Let me just dîe! There’s nothing to live for anymore!”. My husband said.
He tried removing the drip from his hands.
I rushed to where he was and gave him a tight hug.
“It is well Obim! Be still”. I said whilst crying on his shoulder.
For the second time in my life, I saw my husband cry. The first was when he lost his job.
He started wailing uncontrollably.
“Where did we go wrong? What did we do that’s so unforgivable? Ahhh! This one is beyond me ooo. I can’t handle this one”. My husband cried.
Of a truth, it is harder to bear the pain of those we love than to bear our own pains. I wished I was the only one in pain. Watching my husband cry was more painful than everything we’ve been through. My heart was completely shattered.
“What should we do now?”. My husband asked me.
For the first time in my life, I couldn’t think of what to say to my husband. I just stared at him blankly. No word came out of my mouth.
“I’m asking you! You said all would be well and that I should calm down… So, what’s the way forward?”. He reiterated.
“Let’s see how it goes”. I said faintly.
My husband wasn’t having it. He laid on the bed and closed his eyes. He didn’t say anything else to me.
I just sat down, pacing up and down thinking about the way forward.
“That woman that talked you into adopting a child. Why don’t you go look for her?”. A voice ministered to me.
“That’s true o”.
I told my husband I was coming and quickly rushed out of the hospital.
I went to the market in search of the woman. It was a frantic search. I couldn’t find the woman.
After 3hrs of running up and down, I saw one of the women who advised me to heed the woman’s advise.
I tried introducing myself to her by reminding her of the incidence but she couldn’t remember it.
“Madam, I know it’s been long but I was on my way to the market when that woman stopped me. She told me to appease my chi”. I tried explaining.”
“Wo! Mî ó’mó. It’s been long”. The woman said looking confused and lost.
“Please remember… The woman even tried touching me but I quickly withdrew from her”. I explained further.
“Oh! Oh! You mean that same woman who wore an expensive Senegalese gown… That woman tried touching you but you disgustingly withdrew from her”. She recalled.
“I wasn’t really disgusted though….”. I said in my defense.
“The woman was so mad that day oo. She said she was only trying to help you but you felt you were too big and better than her”. The woman narrated.
“Oh my goodness! Where is she?”. I asked pleadingly.
“If I’m not mistaken, she stopped coming to the market after that incidence. I really don’t know sha. You know it’s been long. Oh! I think I remember something now “. The woman said.
All my antenna stood up. I was desperately wanted to hear more of it.
“Ma please tell me. I have been through a lot since then”. I pleaded.
“That day, after you left, she was really angry that she even created a great scene. In her words, she said she will make you fall in love with her… I think something like that. We all didn’t take her serious, you know she’s mentally unstable. After that day or maybe some weeks later, she stopped coming here. I haven’t seen her since then “. The woman narrated.
I sat on the bare floor and placed my both hands on my head.
“Chimooo”. I screamed.
“Kilo shèlé? What’s happening here?”. The woman asked looking lost and bewildered.
I narrated everything to her from how we adopted Obiageli to how we lost everything after we returned her back to the orphanage.
By this time, I had already created a scene. Other market women had already surrounded me.
“Pele o. Sorry. Ndo”. They sympathized with me one after the other.
None of the women knew the whereabout of the said woman. They all know her to be mentally unstable and haven’t seen her in years.
After crying my eyes out, I stood up and left.
“God, I am giving you the last chance to calm the situation! Please make me find that woman. Just do something please”. I cried.
To be continued.
Written by the one and only Judith Onyoyibo