Motherhood ππ Part 5
TEN YEARS LATER.
“We are saying thank you Jesus, thank you my lord, we are saying thank you Jesus, thank you my lord π΅πΆ”.
We chorused enthusiastically.
We were all immersed in the devotion apart from Julius who sat down nonchalantly without participating in any of the activities.
I squinted my eyes in a bid to urge him to sing along with us but he looked at me and quickly looked elsewhere without any sign of remorse nor repentance.
My husband seemed oblivious to Julius’s lackadaisical attitude. He carried on with the devotions with so much passion.
“These and many more we ask through Jesus Christ our lord”. My husband concluded with the the prayers.
“Amen”. Jude and I chorused.
“In the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit. Amen”. We all chorused whilst making the sign of the cross.
As customary, Jude and Julius knelt in front of my husband.
My husband placed his hands on their heads and declared onto their lives;
“May the lord keep you and bless you. May you grow in the way of the lord. You will stand out amongst your peers and no evil shall befall you in Jesus mighty name i have prayed”.
While Jude responded with a loud Amen, Julius only respond with an Amen that was inaudible.
“Julius, why don’t you like participating in devotions? Where did you learn that bad habit from?”. I queried.
Julius just stood there without saying anything.
“Are you not the one I’m talking to?”. I asked angrily.
“Honey calm down, he is still growing”. My husband said.
“Honey stop indulging him. If we don’t correct him now, his behavior may get worse”. I fumed.
“You people should go and bath. You are almost late for school”. My husband said to Julius and Jude.
They both left.
“Are you really not worried about Julius?”. I asked my husband.
“We just have to be patient with him. That is the best we can do for him”. My husband said. He stood up immediately and dashed into the bedroom to prepare for work. It was obvious he didn’t want to have that discussion with me.
I just remained seated on the couch with a heavy heart. While Jude is a delight to my husband and I, I don’t know what to say about Julius. He is very stubborn and disobedient. We have been summoned to their school on different occasions because Julius bullied other students or he wasn’t serious with his studies.
I was scared. I couldn’t believe what my son was growing into.
“Oh God! Please help my son”. I prayed silently.
“Honey! Won’t you prepare breakfast?”.
I jerked back to reality.
I stood up and made way to the kitchen.
I prepared yam and egg sauce.
“I don’t want to eat yam. You know i don’t like yam. I won’t eat it”. Julius said angrily while we were seated in the dining.
“But you have been eating it all these while. Please manage it for today “. I pleaded with him.
“I won’t eat it”. He insisted defiantly.
“Don’t mind him mummy. I saw him eating Segun’s yam porridge in school yesterday”. Jude said.
Julius punched Jude in the face angrily. Jude started started crying.
“Are you stupid?”. Julius asked angrily afterwards.
I stood up angrily to beat him up but my husband intercepted immediately.
“Honey please calm down”. My husband said whilst holding me back.
“But you saw him hit his brother”.
“Julius, don’t you ever hit your brother again okay”. My husband said.
Julius just sat there looking so unrepentant. I was so pissed.
“He is not even feeling sorry”. I screamed.
“Apologize to your brother now”. My husband said.
“Sorry”. Julius said reluctantly.
“That’s not how to apologize. Apologize well”. I shouted.
“I am sorry for hitting you”. Julius said frowning.
“It’s okay. Let’s eat”. My husband said.
We all started eating but Julius refused to eat. I decided not to even mind him.
“Honey, please prepare noodles for him when you are done eating”. My husband said.
“I won’t do that. If he can’t eat what everyone is eating, he should stay hungry”. I said.
My husband gave me a fierce stare. I knew what the stare meant. My husband and I have an agreement never to disrespect each other in the presence of our children.
I stood up angrily and left for the kitchen. Reluctantly, I prepared noodles for Julius.
After breakfast, they left with my husband. My husband usually drive them to school.
I was sad and gloomy all day.
That night, around 11:55pm, my husband woke me up from sleep.
“Honey, I don’t like how you handle Julius”. He said.
The sleep in my eyes left immediately he said that.
“What do you mean?”. I asked defensively.
“I know Julius is stubborn and he is nothing like his brother. I know you favour Jude more than Julius but don’t make it too obvious. They are both your sons. You carried both of them in your womb for nine months. Julius is stubborn but have you tried showing him more love?”. My husband asked.
Those words tore my heart into pieces. I broke into tears.
I am only a mother who is trying her best to raise her sons. After what i passed through during their birth, my husband and I agreed not to have another child because of the risk involved. Since then, I have dedicated my life to my family. I had to quit my job inorder to have more time for them. I am a very intentional mother who wants to raise godly children.
“Where did i go wrong with Julius?”. I asked amidst tears.
My husband wrapped me in his hands.
“I am not faulting you. I know you are an amazing mother to our kids. I couldn’t have asked for a more amazing woman to co-parent with. I know Julius is a little bit difficult to deal with but trust me, he will outgrow this behavior.
“Are you sure?”. I asked with uncertainty.
“I am sure. Just love him harder. Be patient with him and try to understand him. Shouting does not make children obedient and submissive, it will only make them rebellious. Be kind and gentle with him, he will change”. My husband assured me.
“I will try my best”. I said.
“Thank you honey. You are doing a good job”. My husband said.
To be continued.
Judith Onyoyibo
