TOLANI
© Esther Charles
Episode 26
Sleeping restively in the bed, I cradled a pillow to my chest. The morning sun was beaming through my eyes, causing me to blink. Usually, waking up was a simple task for me; I enjoyed waking up before Chimaobi. I groaned when the first beam of sunlight hit my face.
“You should change your mind. Don’t tell him about this.” I sat up, putting my hands to my head which was throbbing.
I Crawled out of the warm bed, walked to the bathroom, on the tap to wash my face. Pouring tap water into my hands, Chimaobi opened the bathroom door.
“What is it you want to tell me.” Came his voice and I choked.
“Chimaobi, I don’t know how you are going to feel about this.” I turned around, resting my back against the wall.
“ About Linda?” He asked, looking at me intentionally.
“Yes…”
“Come, let’s talk.” He said, as I walked out of the bathroom.
Chimaobi sat down on the bed, tapping the bed, asking me to sit down.
“Chimaobi, it’s about Linda.”
“Okay, how about her?”
“I had a sexual relationship with her in high school.” I said as his eyes popped out.
“What do you mean by that? You are a lesbian?”
“No, Chimaobi, I swear I am not. She was my school mother in high school. She had influence and had her way around both the staff and students. She coerced me into doing that with her. She would threaten me each time I refused to have her. She’s back to blackmail me into sleeping with her again.” I broke down in tears because the memory alone was dirty and awful for me.
“How many times did you do it?”
“Chimaobi, I can’t count it. It’s as many times as her stay through her senior classes, she only had a transfer when her parents relocated to the UK.”
“You enjoyed the act?”
“Chimaobi! How could you say this to me?” I cried again.
“Come here, you do not have to misunderstand me. I want to know who truly you are. If you still have the tendency.” He held my shoulders tight, looking into my eyes.
“Tell me, did you enjoy it?”
I was so fearful in answering his question.
“Chimaobi, I hated everything about this act. I fought for years to clear these memories.” I cried more.
“Please, forgive me.”
“Stop it already, you were taken advantage of. You were forced to. I can’t be mad at you over your past. You didn’t do this in our world relationship, you did before you met me. It wasn’t you. You that acted, but power predominated.
Tolani…” He called.
“Yes, Chimaobi.”
“Wayne L. Misner once said, “Keeping baggage from the past will leave no room for happiness in the future.” Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, you must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. You should have told me about this earlier. You hurt yourself so much holding on to this burden for half a decade. I am your husband soon, we should never hide the past, the present, and the future to each other.”
*
“I’m so sorry.” I began to cry again as he hugged me, wiping the tears.
“To make a peaceful home, we must be transparent to each other. Linda wouldn’t have blackmailed you if you had told me about this. It’s okay, don’t cry.” He patted my back.
“She called me last night, requesting I come on or before Sunday. So, I have this Thursday to Saturday.”
“It’s her audacity for me. She feels she can never be apprehended. Let’s watch and see.”
Chimaobi immediately updated his dad of the latest information at hand, while I updated my dad and brother.
“Give me that phone, Segun, who is that Oponu? Who is her father?” I overheard my dad saying in the background before Yahya Segun handed the phone to him.
“Tolani, who is the wretched fool that has been hiding his daughter’s atrocities? O daa… Woo… Give me the name and let them see that I have legs in this country. Woo… You didn’t tell me. Obinrin si obinrin? Irira! okan mi njo.”
“ She is the daughter of Chief Adewale Olorufolorunso Adebayo. He once campaigned for the senate position in Lagos State.” I said to him.
“Wooo, I know him. I have his secrets on my balms. I know someone who knows someone who knows him. Segun, collect the phone, let me make calls.” He handed over the phone to Yayha Segun.
“Aburo, I’m sorry you went through all these. So surprised you never shared this with me.” He said disappointed.
“It’s all fine. I hope you are preparing for your defense tomorrow?”
“Yes. Yes, Yahya.”
“Good luck, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Please, give Chimaobi the phone.” He requested as I gave Chimaobi the phone.
Afterwards, Chimaobi asked me to bathe and present before him. I couldn’t know why I felt absolutely official and shy with him.
“Here” he placed two paracetamol capsule with a glass of water.
“You have been drained lately. This would help.”
“Thank you.” I smiled, gropping in the capsule.
Afterwards, I jumped into a warm shower, washing away every of the pains, the tears, the toxicity, the uncertainties that had built up inside of me.
That bath was synonymous to LIBERATION.
To be continued!
