Tamar episode 19&20

TAMAR, Episode 19.

When I walked up to him he was just looking at me angrily but I remain calm despite the tumbling in my heart, I bent my head and greeted him warmly

“My kind greetings to you my lord…

“Your lord?…you make me laugh, so you are back to calling me your lord after I asked you not to, are you done doing hide and seek for me, you were avoiding me as if I’m struck with a plague, like I have a disease, are you tired of running, you left the house then without even a good bye, and has find away to keep far from me, is it because I made my feelings known to you… was that a crime, no, tell me is it a crime before your so called god, because I don’t understand…talk to me, I have tried everything possible to stop thinking about you, to keep you away from my mind, I have tried and yet it didn’t work, I feel so stupid when I do this, because you do not understand, you don’t understand Tamar, I’m going crazy thinking of you everyday….is being months since you left and I still can’t get you off my mind, no matter what I do, I’m…I’m going crazy…hmm, so where did my sister went to, I thought you are suppose to be beside her always and not going to a man’s house, only the gods knows where you went to, and where’s Zity’s husband, why do the house look so deserted, where are you coming from Tamar? a tall beautiful maiden here, she said her name is Shamara, she told me that no one is home and when I asked of you she said you have probably gone to meet your man, your secret lover… well I don’t know what to make out of that…you having a lover… is no more Abel. hmmm, I know is not true…so where are you coming from…

I started feeling bad as he mentioned Shamara and her appearance, I felt this hurt feeling to my chest, I swallowed hard again and kept quiet…he dragged me with force into the house where no one will see us and locked the door behind, my other hand was held to where the money is, he started boiling in anger as he pushed me inside, and faced me again.

“so is true, you went to see your man friend, who is the person…tell me who is the man you are seeing that is better than me, who Tamar, you chose another over me and threw my love back to my face, what I’m I suppose to do now…with this heavy feeling in my heart, what do you want me to do now, because I have tried to make it stop but I can’t…you chose another over me, if it was Abel I wouldn’t have being so worried but is not even Abel it must be some stupid man out there, you prefer him to me, did he lay with you, did you two got entangled, I swear by the gods I will break the man’s jaw if he lays a finger at you, did you lay with him , do you love him, ooh! you love him and that’s why you have being avoiding me, making me look stupid before my own eyes, what am I suppose to do now, with all this crazy feeling in my heart for you, you don’t love me, you hate me, you hate me for what I did to you years ago at the fountain, or because I revealed my feeling and kissed you back in my chamber, I just want to know what could make you not to want me like I want you, you are driving me crazy can’t you see that, do you love me, who is the man you are seeing.…answer me,

He swore under his breath again, my mouth was dried of spit as I kept swallowing hard, my hand was sweating and I started shaking inside, he was so angry and was becoming violent, he combed his hand into his hair and came close to me, he shakes me violently and I began to scream and the money that I was trying to hide fell off, he suddenly left me as he saw the leather bag fell from under my dress, he picked it up and opened it, and gaps as he saw the money inside… he swore again before looking at me, I saw only fire of jealousy and anger all over him..

“Where did you get all this money from, your man lover gave you all this, hmmm…why are you not saying anything, has the gods tired up your tongue, was it because of the money you are with him, so you went to him because the money, why didn’t you come to me, I would have given you much more than what he gave you, I would have, if you have asked me Tamar, what is my offense, why don’t you want me, I want you so much, answer me, why are you so silent, oh the gods! your silent is killing me Tamar, how do you get the money, who is your lover, who gave you all this money

“Is Adolfo, he gave it to me…

“whaaat…who…Adolfo…why…oh the gods…Adolfo…why did he gave you so much money, I don’t want to think about it…hope is not what I’m thinking, is Adolfo…your..i mean that’s not possible, I’m going crazy, I suspected you two when Zity was still his wife, the way you are always around him and he always seem like you are everything to him, I confronted you and you said you have nothing with him so you have being having affair with him even when he was married to my sister, so he is the lover all this while, I knew it, I know his closeness with you is not ordinary, he has being laying with you even back when he was still married to Zity… why..i mean. I’m really going crazy right now…Adolfo is your lover?

“He is not, I don’t have a lover, I only visited them today, just to check up, and Adolfo willingly gave me all this money, out of his own kind heart. We got nothing together…I’m saying the truth, I can’t lie to you, my lord…

“Stop calling me that, call me Vim, say it now…call me Vim, see the way you call him Adolfo, making him sound special, call me same way, call me by my name. I believe you when you say that you got nothing with him, but at same time I wonder why you will be avoiding me…I want you Tamar, I love you…I love you so much that it makes my heart bleed, I love you with all my heart and with my whole being, …please marry me…I want you to be mine…

My heart melt at his site, he looked beaten, as he pleads, i have never seen a man so powerful and yet so beaten, my heart was almost pumping out to my mouth as I watch him, I don’t know if I should cry or scream to make him understand why it can’t work between us, but at that moment all I can think of is the handsome man standing before me, pleading seriously for me to be his, he came closer to me and my legs began to shake and I couldn’t even move again, he came so close that I can smell him, he smells of sweat, he gently draw me to himself and held me in his arm for sometime, I was feeling his heart beat as it mix with mine, the both heart beats like a drum to my ears, I didn’t want to leave his arm as he held me so close to himself, he gently bent over and kissed me, I didn’t resist as he kissed me again and I allowed him kissed me so deeply, we lock lips and drank deeply of each other, emotion was running wild, I couldn’t get him to stop and yet I don’t want him to stop, he lifted me to the long cushion by the corner and the kissing continued as he lay me gently, he kissed my neck and down to my heart, he ripped my dress off my shoulder and I screamed in shock as I realized what was about to happen, I held my cloth together as reality hits me, he sat up shaking and swore again under his breath, he stood and moved closer and I moved backward…

“Hmm…Tamar, i..nothing happened, don’t be scared, I wanted you as you wanted me but you pull off and…and…hmmm…I’m sorry, I’m sorry Tamar, I couldn’t keep my emotion in check, I’m sorry for ripping your dress, I will get you another, you love me don’t you…you do love me, yet you won’t admit it…please marry me, just say yes, you can worship any god of your choice and I swear I will never stop you, I will always protect you, I worship whatever I chose to worship, money, Jupiter or any god I so desire, and you will worship the god of the Christians like you have always wanted…just say yes, and I will speak to Zity and she will free you, we will start our wedding ceremony, and become husband and wife, we will have children, lovely children, who you will bring up, and I will love you with all my heart, it will be a loving family, just say yes…marry me Tamar… please do not cry, don’t do this to me…I’m sorry…I want you to be mine and mine alone…marry me I beg you in the name of your god whom you serve…

“Vim, I can’t, I…we almost went down in sin…allowing the flesh to take over us…yes, i…I don’t know what I feel for you or the feeling you brings to my heart…you confuse me…you are becoming my weakness…

“then marry me so that I won’t become your weakness again, so that when we finally lay it won’t seem like a sin any more but as husband and wife…I know you are a virgin but I do not care about that, even if you have slept with all the men of this kingdom it won’t make any difference to me all I want is you, I want to make you my own, and I want you to take me as yours, please I beg you in the name of your god to marry me…I can speak to mother and father, I will speak to Zity, she will free you, we will become united as husband and wife, don’t you want that…don’t you want me…I can’t hold back this feeling any more…marry me Tamar…I beg of you…

I gently picked up the money Adolfo gave me from the floor and quietly went to the door that was locked, he try to come close to me but suddenly stopped when I looked at him fiercely, he stood, looking at me, as I unlocked the door and walked out, I held my torn dress together from falling off my shoulder, I stood outside, try to replay what just happened in my mind, I move close to the flower cot and sat down on the floor instead of the chair, I sat there, trying to clear my head, I almost allowed myself to fall into sin, I thought of a word in psalm, that said “how can I know the sins lurking in my heart oh Lord, please forgive me from my hidden fault..

“Please Lord thoroughly wash me from my iniquities, and cleanse me from my sin, for my sins are always before you, you alone have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, behold in iniquity I was brought forth and in sin did my mother conceived me, you will be prove right in what you say and your judgement towards me is fair, for you delight truth in my inward being you will teach me wisdom even in my inner heart…help me overcome my weakness, I can not do this alone Lord, give me the strength like you gave to Abel, Vim has become my weakness Lord, it seem right in the eyes of the world to marry him and still serve you, but I know ones I’m married to him he may draw me away from you, I maybe too weak to draw him to you and because he is stronger than I he will eventually win, in as much as I want him, yes, I do lord, I love Vim but I don’t want to be blown out of the flesh, I don’t want to go off your will, Abel said there’s a lot more ahead of me than I can see, could it be this or is there still more to come, design my thought, help me to stand firm in you…help me Lord…please…help me…

I cried out to God right there at the flower cot,
And when Zity came back I went in and change over, after sometime Vim left, after speaking with his sister for sometime, I don’t know what they talked about but Zity was looking at me and smiling cheerfully when I came to attend to her, she asked me if I have being crying and I told her I was fine, she told me that I shouldn’t worry very soon everything will be alright because her brother seem to be interested in me, I didn’t say a word as I went about my duty

The following day Zity went out, and I was at the flower cot, Chakan was inside his chamber, I did not see Shamara, but I was at the flower cot, meditating on psalms, after sometime Zity came back but not with her chariot, I was surprise because that was unlike her, she looks weak, and when I asked her if she was alright she said she is having headache so I gently took her inside, and she said she wanted to go to the husband’s chamber, I should just make a hot a soup for her to take,
When she got to the husband’s chamber she didn’t bother knocking, as she forcefully opened the husband’s chamber and right there was Shamara with the husband on his bed,

Chakan did not know that Zity was home, everybody knows that she always return in the evening but today she was back way too early than usual, and did not drive in with her chariot which always make a loud noise showing she is back, she just came in and went straight to Chakan’s chamber and there he was entangled with Shamara,

I did not even notice when Shamara went to Chakan’s chamber I would have try to stop her, but it was too late as Zity stood there in shock, Shamara quickly stood up and picked up her dress and ran off, she was shaking all over, she was afraid,

Zity’s leg began to shake as she suddenly fainted in my arm, Chakan rushed to his wife, and lifted her to his arm, he carried her to her chamber and lay her as I quickly brought cold water and sprayed her, and soaked a towel inside cold water which I placed on her head, she woke up,
Chakan drove off with his chariot to get a physician for her,
I wonder if Zity will ever recover from the shock of seeing her husband with another woman,

What will happen now, I warned Shamara but she never listened, and Chakan, how will he make amend to his wife,
I thought of Vim again, what is he going to say about all this, what I’m I suppose to say to him if he comes back again after Zity and his parents has agreed and gave him a go ahead for him to marry me, what will I do or say, what will Abel say about all the things happening.

Everything was happening so fast yet my confidence is strongly built in God, I know Abel is not here to tell me what to do, I rely on God to direct me and I know what he will want me to do and that is what I will do.

TAMAR. Episode 20.

Zity lay quietly on her bed as the physician checked her and confirmed that she and the baby were alright, Chakan gave a sigh of relief, I was happy that Zity and the baby were fine, the Physician, who was a woman said that she needed a good rest and gave her some drugs which will make her rest well, so I left her, Chakan sat beside her, Zity asked him to leave her side and he quietly left.

After two days Zity was still on bed rest, she sleeps most part of the day, the medicine the physician gave her took real effect, all she does was to sleep and eat and most time cry when no one is around and sleep again, Chakan has tried to plead with her severally but she refuse to allow him close to her or hear what he has to say

One day as I sat by the passage close to Zity’s room which was open, waiting for her to summon me, Chakan went inside to check her and they both started quarreling.

“I have told you to keep away from me, I have warned to leave me alone and stay far off, you disguist me with your presence…I will be leaving to my father’s house ones I’m fully recovered, I don’t want you anymore and as for the baby, you will never be allowed to see the child, I will personally bring up the child in my father’s house and, my mother will be so glad to have a little one, a grandchild to keep her busy, you will be totally forgotten, I will make sure of that…you are a cheat and I hate you…I hate you Chakan…

“You are my wife and I can’t leave you alone…I’m sorry Zity…

“sorry for what exactly, for disrespecting me by sleeping with a common slave in your chamber or is it sorry for causing me so much pain, I have never cried so much like I have cried this few days, Chakan you area disgrace, and don’t you dare give me the excuse of i not being around when you needed me, that was why you stoop so low to go after a common servant, you just don’t have anything to tell me, leave me alone I have not decided what I want to do with you because you disgust me…I hate you so much for hurting me this way…

“I take no pride in the shameful act, I never wanted it to go that way but I tried, I wanted you Zity, but is either Okra is taking you to this women play on how to be in charge and not allow your husband to control you or she is taking you to a gladiator party, it was more of partying everyday than your marriage, I tried to make you see reasons why you should stay home sometimes and you asked me if I was a child that needs baby sitting, whenever I needs my wife she is never around or she is too tired, but I’m sorry Zity, I feel ashamed of myself, I promise such will never happen again, I promise, if you want to sell Shamara, if it that will make you happy then go ahead, at least that’s what you have always wanted, do whatever you want to do with her, I love you…and I really do want you to spend more time with me than you do outside, we suppose to be together especially now that we are expecting a child…I’m sorry, I will do anything to make it up to you..i promise, please forgive me…please Zity, don’t leave me, don’t leave me please…I beg you in the name of the gods, let’s make this work, and wait for our child to arrive so that we can both be a happy parent, and bring up the child in a good way…Zity please, I’m deeply sorry…

Zity did not say anything as Chakan moved close to her and knelt down, she ignored him, he later stood up and kissed her fore head, he held her in his arm and she tried to fight and push him away but he held her still until she was relaxed, and she began to sob in his arm, he wiped off her eyes while consoling her, and Zity forgave him eventually.

Shamara was not sold but she was never allowed into the main house again, she was given a hard labor which kept her busy everyday,

On one of those days I have nothing much to do, I decided to go and visit Rhonda, I made sure I finished all I was doing and Chakan took Zity on a chariot ride, in one of those evening, I took the money Adolfo gave me and went straight to the market, I bought lots of things for Rhonda, for the twins and for little Jon, I also bought food stuffs for them and hired a truck rider, that conveyed me to the place, I paid the old man, who looks haggard more than he charged me, he was grateful and asked me if he can come back to carry me later, I told him yes, it will really make my journey easy, because walking back to Chakan’s house will be a very long distance, and I don’t want Zity and her husband to come back before me, so I agreed for the truck rider to return for me.

Rhonda was so happy to see me, is being months since I last visited, she told me she has being praying for me, she was so happy to see all the things I bought and the cash I handed to her, she couldn’t thank me enough, I saw little Jon sitting and playing with a wooden toy on the ground, he looks so much like Adolfo, and has Chakan, his step brother’s eyes, little Jon will grow to be a real carbon copy of Adolfo more than Chakan was, he is going to grow into a handsome man just like Adolfo is, he looks so perfect sitting on the floor and getting busy with his toys, the twins were washing their cloths and that of Little Jon, they quietly sing as they work together, I lifted little Jon to my laps and tickles him, he giggled a little and then I lift him into the air and he was laughing with his toothless mouth which made me laugh too.

I thought of Vim word, as it flashed through my heart, “marry me Tamar so that we can raise beautiful children together, I will never stop you from worshiping your god, I will serve whichever god I so desire, money, Jupiter and whatever god I want and you will serve yours too, I will protect you, please marry me Tamar”…

I quickly snapped out of the thought, as his word came flowing, I have never stopped thinking of him ever since he came and Zity was ready to let me go but deep down I wanted to pray about it and to seek God and know what he says, but silent met my every prayer, I do not know what God is saying, I don’t know what Abel will say, but Abel has trained me enough to seek and trust God in every situation and circumstances, Abel will want me to have a mind of my own but the thought of marrying Vim crowded my mind, he is a jealous lover and can be violent too, one of the most handsome and powerful young man in the kingdom, many maiden of the land will kill to have him as theirs, many will want him close and to also be his wife yet he chose a slave girl, not so beautiful like the Tivi girls, like Shamara or Obia neither is she a true born maiden of the land, I have nothing to my name yet he chose me to be his, he did not force himself on me or rape me when he has the chance to, he begged me to marry him, which was never hard of a royalty begging a mare servant for marriage, I felt so honored to have him yet I feel God is telling me something else, I felt God may have other plans, I wish Abel was close by to help me seek the face of God or to tell me what to do like he has always done, is a difficult situation and I feel like I don’t even know what to do, I wish…

“ Tamar, are you alright…you seem to be in deep thought…is there a problem, I don’t mind if you share it with me, what troubles you so deeply…

“hmmm, is very complicated Rhonda, I wish I know what God thinks of me or thinks of this whole thing happening around me…

“For I know the thought I think towards you, says the Lord, thought of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. God’s thought for you is all good, for no evil is found in him, I don’t know what is bothering you Tamar, but I’m certain that God will always guide you to the right path, whatever that is not of him he will keep faraway from you, he lead you and the mid wife to save Jon and bring him to me, he will also do much more through you because you are his masterpiece, when God created humanity in his image, he put so much effort so that we can turn out to be like him, and after creation the bible said and God looked and saw that it was good, God did a perfect work in making us and that is why we are called small gods, for we are God’s master piece he has created us anew in Christ Jesus so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Jesus said before his crucifixion, “my peace I give to you, do not let your heart be trouble, have faith in God and have faith also in me… so my sister you have to trust God more than you trust your instinct, because even devil can give you a package well wrapped and decorated and it look so attractive that you can hardly resist, but inside the package is filled with venom, poison and all manner of bad things you never expected to see in the beautiful wrap, don’t allow the wicked one to creep into your heart and make his dwelling, a crowded mind is a confused mind, and that’s the devils abode, waiting for any little space to make it his territory, rebuke the devil and he shall flee from you, say no to confusion and think of what God says, for his thought toward you are of good and not of evil to give you a future and a hope, don’t be afraid, you see, I don’t worry too much on what me and my children will eat or drink because I know God will always provide for us, Jesus said in the book of Mathew, “therefor I tell you, don’t worry about your life, what to eat or what you will drink or about your body, what you will wear, for isn’t life more than food… Tamar, he will never allow our feet to be strike on a stone, even if he allows us to be smite he will lift us up and heal us again, for in him we are secured.

It was as if Abel was talking to me when Rhonda speaks, she speaks with so much authority like Abel, I did not tell her what my trouble is and yet God used her to speak to my heart and made it still. I was glad to be around her, I always feel good to be around my fellow believers, it boast my faith and keep me focus when I feel confuse, those who trust and totally depends on God will never be put to shame.

As we speak the truck man came, it was time to go, Rhonda held my hands and quietly prayed for me, she prayed so well and my heart was gladden as I left, I kissed little Jon and the twins, I hugged Rhonda before leaving with the truck man, and when I got close to the house I came down and paid the man, he was so happy as he rode away, I trekked to complete my journey which wasn’t far,

I saw a new fine chariot, and two others packed outside the house, I know one belong to Chakan and the other looks like Vim’s own, but I don’t know who the new and well decorated one belongs to, I did not know what to expect as I went inside,

My heart skipped as I saw Vim, he stood a head taller than Chakan, and Zity was sitting beside him,

My leg shakes as I move towards them, I was missing my step because I know that Vim was watching me, when I manage to get to them , I greeted warmly with my head bow, and just then Okra came inside, Zity doesn’t seem so delighted to see her but she acted cheerful, Zity spoke first

“Tamar, I was already wondering where you could be, my brother has being here since, he even has to go and check you at Adolfo’s house but you were not there, and none of the servants knows where you went to…where could you have gone…

I stammered a little as I try to still my heart beat which was beating so fast especially with Vim standing there and staring at me, no sign of anger was written on him but he wasn’t smiling either,

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you my lady, I went for a walk, and to give some of my things that I’m not in need of to those in need of it…my apologies if I spent so much time…

Vim smiled and Zity Smiled also, Chakan did not say anything but he has a cheerful look, Vim spoke

“i thought you have stopped all this your charitable work, which almost got you into trouble back home when Obia reported you to father, but is all good, you are not in any trouble, your things are totally yours to deal with, as you so desire, I actually came for you…

Before Vim could say another thing Zity spoke excitedly.

“so my brother decided to take you as his, you are so lucky Tamar to be chosen by my one and only brother, he said mother and father has already approved your union with him, the new chariot you saw outside belongs to you, he bought it for you, and has also gotten three servants girls who will serve you in your new home, Vim has taken one of the houses in father’s estate, where you two will live as husband and wife, a new box of fine jewelries and wears has being bought down for you, you are such a wonderful and lucky girl and you deserve it because you have served me well Tamar, so all that is remaining now is to free you which I’m doing right away, i will give you a certificate of your freedom which i have already prepared down, because you are going to belong to my brother not me anymore, I will really miss you but I know you can always visit and I too…

Okra spoke angrily, as jealousy and envy was written all over her

“wait a second, has everyone gone crazy, Zity I know your brother doesn’t like me but I sincerely has to say this not withstanding, how can your brother stoop so low for a maid when there are so many beautiful maiden, a true born and also royal born ready to die for him, what did he see in this thing you called your personal maid, or did she charmed him, ooh, she has probably bewitched him, because your brother, a royalty, handsome like those gods they carve in the temple of Jupiter, powerful like twail, he command respect where ever he goes, how can he not go and get a wife of his kind, this is a total disgrace to your household, a disgrace that the only son of Lord Reese, the second prime ruler of this kingdom married a slave girl, people are going to make fun of him and you too because you are his sister and she is your slave girl, Zity do you know that this your slave will be higher than you when she becomes your brother’s wife, she practically becomes more powerful because she is married to a very important man, and one way or the other you will have to see reasons to what I’m saying…this is not just right..

Vim laughed out loud before saying

“I’m so glad you know I don’t like you and I won’t, no matter what you do, you are talking to my sister as if I’m not present or there is no other human here except her, why don’t you go and mind your home, rumor has it that you are deceiving younger women to ruling over their husbands, and you think Zity is the next one in line for you, you should be ashamed of your self, everybody is not ill minded like you, focus on your business and leave me and my wife to be alone and stay away from my sister or haven’t you hard that I have gladiator friends who I can send to your house, right in your house to give you some whip, if you dare come close to what I cherish must, mind your business Okra, go and attend to your merchant husband, who is so unfortunate to marry a shrewd woman like you, I love my sister dearly and I will marry Tamar, be it slave or free is not your problem, she is whom I chose and that is how it will be, let me see anybody in this kingdom that will dare say ill things to her or behind her back, they will be hanged upside down and whip thoroughly, I am not joking, you can leave now, this suppose to be a family gathering not for friends and family which I know that you are not even Zity’s friend, you are only finding away to spoil her mind and make her start doing your bidding, leave at once, I hate your presence it smells only of havoc…get away from here and don’t you ever come close to wherever I am or where my wife Tamar is, Zity is for Chakan I can’t make that decision for her, she has to make it for her self, if she still want to be seeing you and allowing you to deceive her, let her make that choice…

Okra looked at Vim angrily and sighed before walking away.

So Vim asked me to follow him to the new house, and I will also ride on my new chariot, I looked at lady Zity she nodded urging me to go,

Despite everything sound like a dream, despite it was too good to be true for a commoner like me in the eyes of the people married to lord Reese only son, one of the most important young man of the kingdom, yes despite how mouth watering and tempting it was yet I will not accept it, is hard to say no to such thing, I know Vim will be hurt, I know Zity will be angry, I know a whole lot of things will go bad but I will not accept, I understand Abel’s word to me when he said there’s more to come, Abel has asked me to open my heart and let God speak to me and guide me, and God has spoken through Rhonda and it may not have come out clear yet I got the message, this not God’s will for me and I will not give in to all this temptation, I want to be married, I have always wanted to, I want to have children, when I held little Jon in my hand I have wished I will also get married some day and bear children, I know I want to be loved and Vim has proven to love me, and is ready to do anything I ask of him, yet I don’t feel it in my heart to accept this offer presented to me in a platter of gold, Rhonda has said, some package may come well decorated, wrapped so beautifully and hard to resist but inside is filled with venom, and I understand what she means now.

I know if I marry Vim, he will drag me out of faith and pull me down to their gods, who am I to disobey my husband if he decides to say don’t worship your God again, chose any gods of the land and serve, I don’t want my wife to be a Christian or worship her God any more. Vim will say with authority “you belong to me so you have to do my bidding”. and in that instant I know I’m done for, which way do I go, I can not disobey my husband because he has become lord over me, I can’t even make him to believe because his heart is stubborn and for him to believe God himself has to place a hand on him and turn his stoned heart, Vim need to see what will make him believe, like a miracle or an encounter and that will not come easy, he has gotten angry the day I tried to speak to his parents about God and he has told me not to speak to them again, and that was how the devil held the gospel from getting to his parents, which I know it will still happen someday,
But I can’t marry Vim, not like this, not when he doesn’t want to have anything to do with God, even though he has said I will worship my god he will not disturb me and he will serve his own god, I’m in deep doubt it will never go as it sound, he will drag me to his and It will be better if I was never conceived in my mother’s womb, it will be better if I have never see the sun light than to bow to an Idol, a god made by men. God forbids it.

I know everything may crumble but I know God has spoken to me on what to do through Rhonda, and I know as always he has directed my ways, for God plan for me is of good and not of evil to give me hope and a future.

So when i was alone with Vim at the flower cot, as he talks to me about the marriage preparation which was already in process and will begin tomorrow, I decided to tell him the bitter truth.

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