TAMAR. Episode 15.
The day went with speed I kept avoiding Vim, when I see him coming I will take another road, I stayed mostly in my room, and try not to come in contact with him, my heart began to skip anytime I see him,
With the new realization that Vim loves me and kissed me first time in my life I was still in shock of that, anytime I think of it my heart beat increase, I could not concentrate in my prayers any more, whenever I start praying I will get distracted as my mind wanders around Vim,
when I was summoned to talk to Lord Reese and lady Phin about God, I lost my courage unlike me, and I felt like I was not walking in accordance to God’s will anymore, I was dwelling on the fantasy on being kissed and hearing Vim say that he loves me,
I told lady Phin and lord Reese to give me time, I did not want to say things that are not in line with God, I wanted him to direct me and I don’t feel led by him to speak at that moment because I was having a mind battle which I try to keep in check, I didn’t want to loose focus on the task ahead but when I thought I’m focused and I see Vim coming my heart began to beat, I started wishing Abel was around, I wish he will come home I needed to get back to my old self which I was loosing…
One day I counted all the shelling I had with me, I gathered the money, even the one Abel gave me before he traveled, I put it in my small leather back and left very early the following morning to see Rhonda, I wanted to be back before sunset, I don’t want my absence to be noticed, so I hurried up and got there on time, Rhonda was happy to see me like I was to see her, the twins and little Jon were doing well, I couldn’t stay for long as I gave her the money which will go along way for her, she thanked me as usual and I left, I ran most path of the dusty road, and got home just in time, before the sun set and I quickly washed off the road dust before going to assist in the household chores
Vim tried severally to speak to me but I was always on a run as I tried everything possible to avoid him despite I wanted to hear him tell me he loves me again and also hold me in his arm and kissed me like he did that day but something bigger than me was keeping me in check, so I kept avoiding him.
I ran into Obia one of those days while trying to avoid Vim
“the devil has return to take what belongs to me and to cause confusion again…
“Obia, nice seeing you too…how are you doing…
“It will never be nice to meet the witch herself, what are you doing here again Tamar, I thought they sent you away to Zity, did you steal or slept with her husband that made her to send you back here, you are not suppose to be here now that I was already finding favor before the master and mistress, I told them I can heal Lord Reese and I was given a chance to try my sorcerer power and it was a big opportunity, he didn’t get better but I was still burning incenses and invoking more power for his healing when you just appeared like a witch and took my glory, and now he is well and they are giving you all the gratitude that I deserve, which was meant for me, I wanted to heal him so that I can also gain back the heart of Vim, maybe he will like me again and allow me into his chamber, and if I’m allowed even once in his chamber again he will certainly become mine, because I will not be going there alone, I will ask all the seducing spirit and add anything that will make him remain mine forever… I had plan for everything now you have come again to scatter it, you have come with your strange being that follows you around like an aura, I don’t like you and I will make sure I find away to poison the heart of the master and mistress against you…
“okay, good luck in doing that, but the last time I checked, when you tried to poison their heart towards me by telling them I stole shelling and gave it out to people in the street, not knowing it was my shelling, you tried with that but it did not work out fine for you, quit trying Obia, because you will always be a looser, I assure you that, for greater is he that is in me that he that is in the world, for i bear the mark of the Lord.. I’m untouchable for the enemy and so is everyone in this house hold, quit from your sorcerer power and embrace the light so that you may live and have peace, I’m not afraid of you, I told you the last time that your god is fake, invoke their power, cut you flesh and bleed for them do all you want but is will come to nothing, I have a big God who is Alpha and Omega, and he has given his children power over the wicked…and in his name I rebuke you and every power you are using to operate, it will be rendered useless in Jesus name…
“ooh…stop, stop it, do not dare say that again, so you are a Christian, I see, Venus the goddess of kindness has delivered you into my hand, you are now at my mercy, and I will not listen to your plea if you beg me not to tell anyone, I will expose you, I will tell the master and the mistress, and I will also tell Vim that you are a Christian, they don’t know they have a Christian living in their house, and the kingdom hates them, you have exposed yourself, and I will make sure you suffer and die…the master must know of it…
I looked unbothered as I turn and walk away, she stood, surprising looking at me that I did not even beg her not to tell anyone and neither was I scared as I walk away, she did not know that both the master, his wife and son already knows that, being a Christian is not a news to them any more, Obia will be making fool of herself again if she goes to them with that.
Abel came back briefly and my heart was glad, I couldn’t wait to tell him what was going on, it was as if God hard my prayer and brought him home,
As i sat at the fountain that day with Abel, my intention was to tell him my little trouble but I don’t know how to start with it, and how he will feel about Vim kissing me or declaring his feeling, I sort for a better way to start the conversation
“you seem to like the port more than here, aside the work what makes it so interesting, you hardly come home whenever you travel to the sea port, tell me about your work and how many workers are there…why do you like that place more…
“I wasn’t meant to come back now, I was suppose to be there for the next three month before coming home, the port is a very lovely place, despite I have a lot to do there, I have enough time for God and I don’t feel interrupted or scared when I pray to God, every body working there are all under me, they are up to thirty workers, mostly slaves and few free men, I organised and make sure everything is properly done, work is still ongoing there at this moment, I like looking out into the sea, I stay up late at night, looking towards heaven and shouting praises to Yahweh, many workers there have come to know the one true God through me, and I keep building them, God led me to baptist those who believe and accepted Christ as their Lord and savior, I baptist them right there in the water as they embrace the love of God, I have intend to stay for two or three more months before coming but God put the desire for me to come home, he wanted me home, I felt it, I was afraid that something bad happened because of the zeal, I thought of lord Reese as I constantly pray for him and every member of the household, and you were also in my thought Tamar, and when I came home everyone seem to be at peace, and I started wondering why God brought me home, i will stay one week here, waiting for the purpose while God asked me to come down to manifest, after which I have to go back, because I have sheep at the port I need to pasture, which simply means, the new believer need to be feed with the word, encouraged and guided so that they will not fall out of faith and return back to their old ways…
“Abel, I have something to tell you….Vim… Vim kissed me after revealing that he loves me…he kissed me so deeply that I loosed my gut, it was so sudden I never expected it…
I watched as Abel pulse and stared at me without a word, he breathed deeply, and look out straight into the fountain before saying
“How…how it did happen…and where did this happen…
“I just don’t know, everything was so quick…it happened in his chamber…
“Tamar…In his chamber, what where you doing there…talk to me…did he hurt you…
“he did not hurt me, he was angry that I was trying to tell his parents about Christ as they summoned me and asked me to tell them about my faith, Vim didn’t like that and when he saw me at the passage he asked me to come to his chamber of which I did and he told me of his fears, which is very dangerous for me to go talking about my faith to people, and I asked him why he was so worried about me then he said that…that is because he love me, it was a shock for me on hearing that, I was still trying to get out of the shock, he moved closer and kissed me and when I pulled out from his arm I ran off and i have being avoiding him ever since…ever since the incident I seem to lose my courage and he is always in my thought, I constantly think of him and the kiss, when his parents summon me to speak to them again I have to excuse myself after telling them to give me time to get ready of which they did, I feel distracted a little and sometime feel I’m not walking in line with the holy spirit…
“I understand, do not worry Tamar, I’m here for you, I see you are the main reason God brought me back, I just realized that now, you needed help that was why God sent me home, and I’m glad he did, you know why you are distracted after Vim declared his love and kissed you in his chamber and you got blown away with that, is just because you had a wall of worldly fantasy built up in your heart, you have wanted to know how it feels like to be loved or to be kissed, you have imagined what being married or cared for by a man will feel like, either you have centered your imagination around me or around another man and when Vim made his intention known and then seal it up with a kiss, you began to love the feeling and the sensation he gave you, you got carried away with it, now, you can’t serve God and mammon, you have to chose one, either to serve God withholding nothing, serving him like your whole being depends on it, serving even if the world is crumbling around you, serving him and taking charge over your body and thoughts, making it impossible for the enemy to penetrate in, is okay to stumble once in a while, which defines your imperfection, but when you stumble and fall without quickly getting up and getting back in track you will become open to the enemy who has being hovering around and looking for away to get you off the right track, they will come with distraction, lost of word, weakness to pray or meditate, inability to spread the good news to people who needs it, it only start with little distraction, then confusion, follows by defeat. Tamar listen to me, for we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness in this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places…you have to be on guard always, because the devil is not going to stop until he pulls you down and you don’t have to let him, don’t create room for him to penetrate and attack your spiritual life, this is not time to weaver or lose focus, Lord Reese and Lady Phin are going to be save and it will be through you, that is one of your assignment here, you have to pray and rebuke the devil so that he will flee from you, you can’t save the master and the mistress with a carnal mind, by the time you are telling them the word and how to be save carnally, word by flesh not as God directed you, when you are doing this thinking you are doing a great work for God, the devil is quietly whispering in their ears his own lies, they will feel distracted and will not know who is saying the truth any more, so whatever you say to them they listen with one ear and the word walks straight out from the other ear because they are distracted, the good seed you think you are sowing is falling on thorns, rocks and foot path where they will be choked, smashed and trampled under feet by men, so you have to rebuke the devil, you have to be spiritually inclined, you have to stand firm Tamar, don’t give room for distraction, you have to war against the devil and when he comes to take the seed that you are sowing away the holy spirit will let you know and you will rebuke it immediately, and with the devil gone the people you preached to will be willing to listen and understand the ways of God so that they can be save, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be save except Jesus Christ…salvation is found in no one else except through Christ… Vim will be your weakness, do not let him cripple your faith, war against any spirit using him, because the devil will use him to bring you down, Vim may truly love you like he said but he doesn’t know God, and he is open to the devil, and he will drag you down with him if you are not solidify in God, war against any power that will stand against the word of God, take down your wall of fantasy and be totally sold out to God, take charge or your world Tamar, and rule as God has given you the ability, Tamar…there’s a lot to be done, I cry ahead of time for you, I see trouble lurking around you, if you see what God is revealing to me you will beg him to take the cup away from you, like Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane before he was betrayed, Vim’s heart is harden and he can’t believe easily, it will take blood and tears for him to believe which means it will be hard. But there’s nothing the lord can not do, pray against the trouble I see lurking around your head, plead with God to take it away because is quiet consuming, God revealed that Zity will send for you tomorrow, Zity will soon be remarried and the worst is yet to come because of the woman i see beside her, who has the devil’s ear, be at watch. Get back on your knee, as you will be returning to your mistress, your time has passed in speaking with Lord Reese and Lady Phin about Christ, there will be other time to do that. God gives chances to people because God knows how weak we are, he remembers that we are only dust, our days on earth are like grass, like wildflower we bloom and die, the wind blows and we are gone as though we have never being here. I pray this day that the Lord will guide your every step, he will reveal himself to you, and speak to you heart as he speaks to me, he will take away the trouble the devil is trying to use to destroy you and give you wisdom to ascertain the good and the bad, may the Lord’s favor rest upon you Tamar, the wicked will see you and flee for you bear the mark of the lord Jesus. Be of good cheer dear because God is always with you.
I felt empowered, I felt something heavy taking off me and I fell on my knees as Abel prayed for me, I felt connected again with the holy spirit and when I returned to my chamber I kept praying,
The next day Zity sent for me just like Abel has said, and I left with Lami, Adolfo’s boy, who came to get me, after bidding the master and mistress goodbye, Vim was not around that day, I saw Obia smiling at one corner and I went to Abel who drew me into his arm and I was there for sometime as he muttered few prayers for me, he released me and look me straight in the eyes telling me not to ever forget who I am in God. I blink back tears and nodded, he kissed my forehead as if he was saying goodbye, he acted like I won’t see him again, I got scared and quickly rebuked the fear as I smiled to him and ran off to meet with Lami and we left
When we finally got to Adolfo’s house, Abel was right, Zity was planning to marry Chakan, Adolfo’s son when she finish separating from Adolfo, which was already in process, and Adolfo was so willing to finally let Zity go
TAMAR. Episode 16.
Zity and Adolfo were seriously working on their separation, they have both gone to see Lord Reese and Lady Phin, I did not go with them, Zity asked me to stay back at Adolfo’s house, and I did, they went their twice and I guess her parents later agreed, back at Adolfo’s house I watch as Zity was always acting harsh to Adolfo, who never paid her any attention, I felt pity for him.
one day I decided to speak to Zity
“My lady, are you sure you want to do this, have you thought it through…is it really what you want…please my lady, take it easy on Adolfo, you know he lost his wife many years ago, and now you are leaving him, he will feel like a failure, make him understand why you have to leave in a peaceful and understandable way, not in fight or trouble…it will make him have a sense of belonging…but if you still want to try and make it work with him, Adolfo will be so happy and you will see the good man in him and love him, I don’t want you to make a mistake, that was why I asked if this is really what you want…
“Yes, is what I want Tamar, you shouldn’t even be asking this because you know how much I have suffered in this marriage, is time to be free. Time to be with the man I really want, Chakan is all I want Tamar, not his father, I told mother and father they will never talk me out of it, I want to be free from Adolfo, I don’t love him and I can never love him, I need to breath and live the life I have always wanted, why do you even care what Adolfo feels or thinks, you should be more worried about me not Adolfo, I’m your mistress, so whatever I do you have to support me, either good or bad because you belong to me not to my parents or Adolfo, do you understand me Tamar…
“Yes my lady.
I went to see Adolfo in his study one day, and he was talking and laughing with Eura, he seem to be himself, as he speak with Eura, he looks happy not the worried man he use to be, since I came back he seem so unbothered with Zity attitude, I was glad that Eura brought back the sparkle in his eyes,
They were happy to see me as I joined them, and we talked and laughed, I later told Eura that I will like to speak to Adolfo alone and she bow and excused us
“You seem so happy Adolfo, you are not really bothered that Zity is leaving you…you don’t look sober at all..
“life present choices for us to make, mine was either to be sad, think about the unfortunate happenings in my life, think about my late wife, who died leaving me shattered and after years of being alone or to think about now, and how to find joy again even if is in a strange place, Tamar, when I decided to marry again, it was not just to marry but also to have a friend in my wife, a companion, a helper and supporter, I ended up with a young girl who has so much passion for life and want to live it to the fullest, a young girl whose parents forced into settling with me and I made her look miserable, I ended up with a lady who doesn’t like or want me like I do, I wanted it to work, I wanted her to see me as both her husband and a friend, and to respect me like she will do to her father, but I see that can never happen, I was already loosing my mind after loosing my son that she bore for me, I wish he was alive maybe he would have united I and Zity and make Zity see reason to love me, but I can’t force her ,Tamar I can’t do that anymore, she has made her decision to go and I have made mine to accept and be happy…
I was quiet as I wonder if Adolfo knows who Zity was planning to leave him for, has he found out, I wondered if Adolfo knows that it was his son chakan that has always being Zity’s wish, will Adolfo agree if he finds out, I also wondered if Chakan has accepted to marry his father’s ex wife, so many things was going through my mind as Adolfo speaks so I asked
“Do you know if Zity is planning to marry another man, or she just want to go back to her parent’s house, I mean…do you think she has another man…
“hahahaha, you are funny Tamar, you are Zity’s personal maid, you know what goes in and out around her, I suppose to be asking you that not you asking me, but I understand that you probably did not want to expose your mistress to any danger, and unfortunately Zity wouldn’t care if I know or not, but I do know, we all know who she wants, I knew it was because of her Chakan moved out, I knew she wanted my son, I started noticing when Chakan was still living here before he moved out, Zity always wanted to be around him, she ignores me whenever Chakan is around, she always want to be seen with him, she goes to his chamber uninvited, I have hard them argue over something which I refuse to pay attention to, is better I don’t listen to what may kill me, I refuse to know or believe that Chakan was having something with her, and when Chakan suddenly moved out I knew it was because of Zity, my son respects me so much and that’s is more reason I trust him, so he came down one day and I asked him, he stammered a bit, he didn’t want to say but I assured him it was fine, and he told me that him and Zity use to be lovers, he was the one Zity was coming to look for in the estate back then when I saw her, I asked him why he didn’t tell me all this while, despite I had this dream and my late wife came and said she will lead me to the light but if Chakan has told me about her I wouldn’t have put my leg, I know Zity’s father and mother will not want her to marry a younger man because of the general believe that the young will not value their wife but those with experience will, people give out their daughter to men older than them with at least ten years, so Chakan wouldn’t have gotten a chance to be with Zity. Later, i thought Zity has forgotten about Chakan and will come around but she never did, there was a day my son came and we talked at the garden and Zity brought drink only for my son, I had mine beside me already, but with the special way she treated the cup of drink by keeping it far from me it calls for questioning, but I did not think of it, I asked Chakan to go get me something inside and before he came back I have already finished his drink, which taste normal, I can’t forget the way I felt that day, after sometime, my body began to shake, but I held unto myself thinking I have had too much to drink, Chakan later left and I felt blown out of myself, my bladder was so hot I couldn’t even control myself, it was unlike me, the only thing I was thinking at that time was Zity, I wanted Zity, I needed Zity, I was going Crazy, as I ran to her chamber without thinking and…and forcefully lay with her without her consent, I swear to the gods of this land, I did not just know what happen to me, and I felt so bad when I got myself, she was weeping silently, I felt like beating myself, I felt stupid, forcefully making out with a woman, wife or not wife is totally wrong, so i apologise with everything possible, begging her to forgive me and she later did, so one day after months of this incident, I started thinking of the whole thing again, how I manage to fell into such act, and I traced it to the drink that was meant for Chakan which I drank, I just couldn’t think of anything else, I couldn’t think of anything that will make me behave the way I did that day but even at that. I decided to waved it off, counting on the impossibility of Zity doing such, she may hate me but she will not want to put love potion for my son to lay with her, It was impossible, where will she even get the portion when she hardly go out, she only have the merchant’s wife who comes around and they became close friends, well I took it off my chest, so recently as everything keep going bad instead of getting better between I and Zity, one day she came to my study, I was happy thinking she has come to check up on me which was unlike her, she told me she wanted out of the marriage, I pulse for sometime as she curse and swear that if I don’t let her go she will kill herself, she was shouting out on how she hates me and all that, she boldly told me she wanted to be with Chakan, that she and Chakan were meant to be before I came to marry her and has made her life miserable, she said she wanted chakan and anybody that oppose it, she will kill herself or run away, that chakan also wants her but has kept away because she got married to me, she kept talking angrily and i didn’t argue or say a word, Zity was only being childish and I totally understand and I wanted her to be with the person she said she wanted not withstanding that Chakan is my son, if Chakan still wants her then they should be with each other, she was surprise I said okay, I told her we will do the normal separation terms and she can be free again to be with whoever she chose to be with, she was happy at the end before leaving, I called my son and told him my decision of letting Zity go, I asked him if he still want Zity and he was shock at my question, I told him we are separating for good, I want her to be happy and I equally deserve to be happy, he was quiet for sometime as I urged him not to be afraid to speak and he said he doesn’t really want her, he has already forgotten whatever he and Zity had before, after she got married to me, I told him that he should try and see if it will work out between them since Zity wants him and made it known to me without shame, he said okay, he will do that….and here we are, by next week Zity will finally be free, I went to the parents the other day and spoke with them about separating from their daughter and they were shock, they sent for Zity and she came and insisted on what she wanted and lord Reese and Lady Phin apologise to me and I told them is all for the best, I watch as they try to talk to Zity but she was stiff-necked and told them they can’t change her mind, they made a choice for her which she regretted ever listening to them, she said she will never allow them to do that and that her decision will stand this time, and at the end they let her be. So once we are legally free from the marital vow we took she can be with Chakan as she has always wanted…
I thanked Adolfo for sharing the whole thing with me, I don’t know what will happen with him or if he will marry again but I’m certain that Zity was making a wrong choice, Adolfo was a good man, who loved her, I silently pray that Chakan will genuinely love Zity like his father did.
A day came and I followed Zity to Chakan’s house, I noticed that Zity has being going to his place even when I was back to Lord Reese house, Chakan seem pleasant to see her as we were ushered in by one of his slaves, the kitchen maid brought different delicacy for Zity, I saw one cleaning some sculpture on Chakan’s open chamber, the slave girl was tall and beautiful, and Zity felt threatened,
“When did you buy this one, she was not here the last time I came…
“four weeks ago, she was here, you probably did not see her or notice her, she is a tivi girl…is there a problem…
“Must you buy a tivi girl, they are usually lazy, they only knows how to look beautiful and flex their waist up and down seductively, I don’t like this one…sell her off,
“Why, why should I sell her when she has done nothing wrong…just because you don’t like her, Shamara is not what you take her to be. Take a grip at yourself Zity and stop acting like a spoilt child, this is my house…
“is also going to be my house soon…stop making me look like a stranger..
I don’t like the way you talk to me, is it a crime that I love you…what is even wrong with you, we are not married yet and you are already calling me spoilt child, what kind of man are you, I have always wanted you Chakan but your father came and overshadowed everything, he made my life a living hell, all I think of everyday is you…Adolfo was driving me crazy and..
“Zity, Zity that’s enough, enough of all this nonsense, you didn’t want my father, you made that obvious and we all get it, now we are getting back together, just like you have always wanted, learn to respect my father when you talk about him, learn to show some respect, he is still my father and will always be, I will not tolerate any insult from you, I am not so petty like my father you better know that…
I watched as Zity eye got soiled with tears and she wanted to cry and Chakan has to go and pet her again, I excused myself and went outside, and waited outside for a very long time and even night came and settled and Zity did not show up, at the end I have to ask Shamara were I can lay my head for the night since my mistress was here and Shamara showed me where to pass the night.
The following day Zity came out and we left,
after two weeks she found out she was pregnant for Chakan even before her wedding. She was finally separated from Adolfo and hurried up with the small union with Chakan, it wasn’t much gathering, it was just the family coming together to bind them in marriage and they were married.
I know it will not be all rosy with Zity, I know Chakan easily get offended and Zity will always want to cry to get his attention, but it may not work for her always, it was obvious that Chakan doesn’t love her like before, Zity still feels threatened with Shamara, Okra still comes around to Zity’s new home, I know things will get bad, but I’m asking God to help Zity in all of this, and also to help me.
now she is with the man she has always wanted to be with and she is already carrying his child, which is few weeks old, and Zity feel good with everything except when she sees Shamara pass,
I may not know what the future hold for everyone of them but I plead with God to be in the center of it, and to help me in all the trouble that is yet to come.
.
