~The Hanging Vine☹️
(episode 7)
Have you truly ever Loved someone? Not Lust, infatuation or rebound but rather, true and unconditional Love. That feeling that can’t be properly explained till you experience it first hand, that feeling that makes you crave for the presence of that special person your heart continually beats for. There’s no description or definition of Love that could ever be enough to justify how beautiful it truly is. That moment you look at the person that has stolen your heart and begin to imagine what life would be like without them. When you can’t go a day without seeing or speaking to that person and when you realise life no longer makes sense without them. Until the thought of losing someone you claim to love scares you, then you are far from truly being in Love because no one wants to let go of a person or something that genuinely makes them happy and fulfilled; that’s fact. I won’t say Oscar and I had gotten to that level of love yet but the undeniable truth was that we had fallen deeply for each other.
After the magical kiss that lasted for a while after we were done confessing our love for each other, we parted our lips and gazed into each other’s eyes. At that point, I was evidently shy and Oscar was quick to notice the discomfort I was feeling due to shyness. Without hesitating, he reached out for my hands and gently rubbed them against his. “Thank you Sophie” Oscar said out of nowhere, “Why are you thanking me?” I curiously inquired as I looked into his cute eyes. He smiled faintly, lifted my hands and pecked them; “Thank you for giving me a chance to Love and cherish you. Thanks for giving me the privilege to be the man in your life. I promise never to betray your trust in me and promise not to make you regret this decision. I love you so much Sophie, thanks for being my official babygirl” he happily said.
When Oscar was done talking, I smiled as I looked into his eyes. Even a blind man could see that I was in love with this man and I bet he knew too. The fragility of my heart at that moment hindered me from saying much but despite my few words, Oscar knew I was now fully and officially committed to him. However, before the lovey dovey moment died down that night, I had few things to say to the man I was about to officially give my heart to. As he still held on to my already sweaty hands, I looked him deep into the eyes and began to speak.
“Oscar, in as much as I’m happy for our new found love and relationship, I can’t hide the fact that I’m still scared of being hurt by you. I know we love each other but Love isn’t enough to build and sustain a healthy relationship. In order for this to work, we have to respect, value and trust each other. I know your life used to be really complicated with ladies and I’m also aware of the work you are putting in to be a better version of yourself but I can’t lie that I’m not still scared of the unknown. There are certain things you are used to getting from women that I might not be able to give to you and it might be fine for right now because the love is new but want happens when you begin to need those things again and I can’t give them to you?. I’m really complicated and have values that I’m not ready to let go of but that doesn’t mean we can’t sacrifice few things just to complement each other and make this relationship work. From today, you have my full commitment and I want same commitment from you too” I calmly said.
When I was done talking, I believe Oscar already figured out where I was driving at. He smiled and held my hands even tighter. “Sophie, there’s absolutely no reason to be bothered or scared. If I wasn’t ready to fully commit to you, trust me I won’t be here right now. I know what you are scared of and want to let you know that your heart is in the right hands. Please don’t allow anything to ruin this beautiful moment for us” he calmly said.
With such assurance from Oscar, there was nothing left that I needed to hear. I instantly felt relieved and we therefore carried out with the rest of the evening till it was time for us to leave the restaurant for our respective homes. Oscar first dropped me off at my house before heading to his. Immediately I got inside my apartment, I took my shower and laid on the bed thinking about him all through the night. He called when he arrived at his house to say “Goodnight” to me even after we said “Goodnight” to each other in the car. The love we both felt for one another was extremely beautiful to the extent that we could barely stay apart from ourselves.
As I rolled round the bed all night thinking about Oscar, I couldn’t help but think about my best friend ‘Dora’. Depsite the fact that we weren’t in good terms at the moment, she was the one person I wanted to call and break the news to. The fact that I couldn’t call her that night broke my heart and made me feel incomplete. But despite how much I knew I missed my best friend, that still didn’t change the fact that I needed to be away from a person that doesn’t in anyway value nor respects me. I had no idea if my mind would change towards Dora on the long run but till then, I needed to be alone and away from whatever we used to have in the past.
After that fateful day, Oscar and I officially became an item. We took things one step at a time as each day went by till it got to a point where we became almost inseparable. I tried my best to keep our relationship private and on a lowkey but Oscar wasn’t about that life. He flaunted me to the world at every given opportunity and it didn’t take long before Dora found out we were dating for real. I believe she felt sad and terrible when she found out but her feelings wasn’t my problem anymore.
With each passing day in our relationship, Oscar and I uncovered new things about each other. I still hadn’t told him yet that I was still a virgin because I was shy and worried at the same time of what his reaction would be. I didn’t want to tell him about that aspect of my life but we finally had the talk one fateful evening when he returned from a trip and came straight to my house from the airport.
Immediately Oscar got to my apartment that evening, the first thing he did was say “Baby I miss you” and rushed for my lips to kiss it. The urgency at which he kissed me passionately was a sign that he was starved of affection and needed me badly. Initially, I went with the flow because I kinda missed him too but had to stop things when I figured he was about to take our Intimacy to the next level by taking my night gown off. There was no way I was ready for that level of Intimacy when I wasn’t married and had built very strong moral values for myself long before I met him. No way!
“Babe please I can’t, I just can’t do this. We need to stop!” I swiftly said before he could take off my night gown. One look into his eyes and I could see the hunger for Intimacy and how ready he wanted to devour me. It kinda seemed as though he was really tempted by ladies while away on his trip so he came back hungry with the desire to quench his thirst with me. Prior to that moment, we hadn’t gone beyond kissing so he threw me off balance with his actions that night.
Being a respectful man that valued consent, Oscar ceased his advance but the didn’t mean the hunger was gone. “Babe please I need you, I miss you and just want to feel you” he calmly said. I ran my fingers through his hairs while looking into his eyes. I wanted him badly too but not this way and certainly not now. “Can we talk about this?” I asked and he agreed to calm down so we could talk. He carried me on his laps and wrapped his two hands around me. I could felt the warmth of his touch and how much this man was in need of my affection.
“Babe, I need you to keep an open mind to what I’m about to tell you. We can’t get involved with fornication and expect God to be the third person in this relationship. I love you so much and want you just as bad as you want me but is it truly worth losing God’s presence for? Do you think this relationship will survive another week if we lose God today?. There’s also another thing I need to talk to you about. I should have told you this a long time but just never got the right time to do so. However, I am glad I have finally gotten the chance to tell you this. Oscar I’m still a virgin; never been tampered with and has never been touched by any man. I have come a long way keeping myself and see no reason why I shouldn’t continue doing so till I get married; even though I’m not ready for marriage right now in my life. Please I need the understanding and supportive side of you right now. I wish I could give you my body right away but it doesn’t feel right to me” I said.
When I was done talking, I could see the sudden calmness in Oscar. It seemed as though someone poured him cold water. He held me even tighter and buried his face on my tummy. “I’m so sorry babe and I’m super proud of you. Baby you have no idea how much I respect and love you, please never compromise your standards and values for anyone even me. I promise to figure out a way to go about this even though it will be really hard on my part but I promise to try just for us” he said and kissed my tummy and forehead.
Oh my! This man had absolutely no idea how much I wanted every bit of him too but sadly I couldn’t have him just yet. Regardless of Oscar’s assurance to me, I was still a bit worried because I knew he was highly sexually active. This was really a thing of concern to me because I know if he wasn’t getting satisfaction from me, he could seek it elsewhere. Despite being in doubt, I never did anything to raise the suspicion that I didn’t trust him, till something sad happened one fateful day that confirmed my doubts.
It happened one fateful day while Oscar and I were on a date. While we were having what seemed like a nice time out, a particular number kept calling his phone but he didn’t pick up but rather, he codedly put the phone on silent and pretended like nothing strange was happening but not before I was quick to detect everything. My mood gradually began to change even though I tried so hard not to let it reflect on my countenance.
“What’s the problem? You have barely touched your food” Oscar asked after he noticed I wasn’t eating. I told him I had lost my appetite and wanted to go home. Without hesitating, the bill was cleared and we headed for the car at the parking lot.
The ride to my house was a very quiet one. I looked out the window and barely spoke to him all through the ride. I believe at this point he had began to suspect that something was wrong somewhere. When we finally arrived at my house, I was about to alight when the same number popped up on his screen. “Who’s been calling you all through this evening and why aren’t you picking up the call?” I bluntly asked and he suddenly froze. “Babe it’s nothing, it’s just work” he said but I wasn’t about to believe that piece of crap. “Pick the call now and put it on loud speaker if you have nothing to hide. Pick it now!” I said while waiting for Oscar to pick the call but he never did till it rang finish.
As I sat there in complete shock, tears began to fall off my eyes. Before Oscar could finish saying “Babe it’s not what you think”, I alighted from his car and forcefully banged the door.
Tbc
