PRANK WENT WRONG 3
To start with, my people were not happy with the situation. Some of them scolded me for playing such an expensive prank on my wife.
Some were angry with my wife for taking the matter to her people without first confronting me.
Some were neutral, while some laughed over it.
At last, we made it to my wife’s place.
Messages were sent across and within few minutes, my in-laws were complete.
The meeting began.
One of them stood up to address us. “Our in-laws, you’re welcome to our house. Your house of course, because the day you married our daughter, we became one…”
“We are not one”, one of the elders interrupted with so much anger in him. “We can never be one. They are our slaves. When our fathers fought the tribal war, we conquered them and made them work for us as slaves. That we gave them our daughter in marriage does not make our houses their houses. Chief Okor sit down if you don’t know what to say. A slave and the master can never share the same table. They are slaves, place them where they belong.”
That did not go down well with my people.
There is a man in our family whose name is Cheif Afai (Violence). He is in his 80s but very agile. True to his name, he is known for his violent attitude.
He jumped up from his seat and angrily refuted the man’s claim.
“Eesssssh! Shut up. Stop that nonsense. Is this why you sent for us? What gave you the right to talk when men are talking. Are you a man? What makes you a man? Do you think any man will ever come under your roof to marry your daughter? Impotent like you. I have given out 15 daughters in marriage. 15 of my own daughters produced from this my pen!se. Can you point your finger to a child of yours? Do you even have 1? What makes you a master and me a slave when you can’t boast of a single child of your own? You are here crying more than the berieved. Don’t force words from my mouth. Ah! Ah! Instead of listening to your inlaw’s side of the story, you summoned us here to spit on our faces by calling us slaves. Can’t husband and wife play in their respective homes? If you had cultured your daughter so well, she would have known that a man can marry as many wives as he wants. I have 6 wives and 26 children and none of my wives has disgraced me like this. This is nonsense. Chai! Chief Afai Akpan Udo Ekpo Anan Udo Isong Umoren, you have really been disgraced.”
See casting on top my small prank.
“Chief Afai, please calm down. Sit down please. We didn’t come here for war,” one of my kinsmen adviced.
“Don’t you tell me to sit down. If it is war they want, I will give it to them. A barren woman should not speak about someone’s child in the council of men who own many children. He should withdraw the statement and apologize for calling us slaves.”
The pandemonium lingered until that man was prevailed on to withdraw the statement. He did and also apologized for calling us slaves.
No be small matter ooo.
Finally, peace was restored and the meeting continued.
“Like I said earlier,” Chief Okor continued, “we are one. Our house is your house. Our daughter is your daughter and your son is our son too. We sent for you because our daughter brought a report to us concerning your son. According to her, your son has acquired a marriage list from another family, and the woman in question is pregnant for your son. So our daughter returned home and told us she will no longer marry your son because she does not want to have a co-wife. She said we should refund her bride price, that is why we sent for you. My people, have I spoken well?”
“Yes! You have spoken well,” my wife’s kinsmen echoed.
“Our inlaws,” Chief Afai continued, “I won’t be afraid to say that you all did wrong for not allowing our son to say something when you sent for him yesterday. You should have listened to him first. If you had done that, I tell you there would have been no need gathering here today. This is uncalled for, as far as I’m concern. My son will speak for himself, and after that, we will know what to do.”
I stood up and painstakingly explained what really happened. I showed them the Sim and the message I sent. I explained to them that I was pranking my wife, that I was waiting for her to ask me about the message, but instead of asking me, she decided to go home and report to them.
Convinced by my explanation, my wife and her people were very surprised and ashamed.
ยฉ Ezekiel Umoren
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