PRANK WENT WRONG 4
“Oh my God!” my father inlaw exclaimed. “Children of nowadays will not kill us. What a wasted effort!”
“That was why I said you people should have listened to the young man in the first place. If you had done that, we wouldn’t be here. However, now that we are here, what should be done should be done,” Chief Afai submitted.
After few people had spoken, my wife was called to confirm if she was still interested in the union.
“My fathers,” she began, “my inlaws, I know you all are angry with me right now. You are right to be angry. However, before I’m castigated, just know that no woman can stand the sight of knowing that her husband had collected a marriage list from another family whose daughter is already pregnant. I did what I thought was right. I allowed emotions got a better part of me. Now I have seen I should have confronted my husband before coming here. For that, I am deeply sorry. If there is any way I can undo this deed, I will. As for my husband, I never stopped loving him even for one second. He is still my husband and I am still his wife. Once again, I am deeply sorry.”
Everyone turned to me as if they wanted to hear me say I was no longer interested in the marriage.
Who sai!
“Fathers, to be honest, I didn’t bargain for this. I didn’t want it to end this way. It was just a husband and wife play. I had no idea what my wife was planning to do. I’m very sorry for the stress this has caused you. Accompanying me here to take my wife back, I am grateful. My inlaws, I’m sorry for stressing you. I promise you, something of this nature will never happen again. I love my wife and will never plan of taking another wife. Thank you for your understanding….”
“Ehhhmmmm! Young man sit down,” Chief Afai interrupted me. “We didn’t accompany you to come and take your wife home. We honored the summon our inlaws gave us over the stup!d and insensitive behavior you and your wife displayed. In our days, that is when we were young, there was nothing like pranks. If you ever want to marry another wife, be a man and talk to your wife, not cutting through the corners. You are the head of the house. You children of nowadays, you carry this church issue on your head, you don’t want to marry many wives because your Bible forbids it. That is why I like my tradition. And I keep telling people to come and practice this tradition that our forefathers practiced. It will make you live long. Look at me, over 80 and still strong. Who amongst us here is upto 80? Any one? No, you want to go to church. That is why, if anybody wants peace with me, I give the person peace. If the person wants war, I give him war both physically and spiritually.”
He paused, stared at the man that called us slaves and continued.
“Well, I don’t want to talk much so that I won’t get angry. For bringing us here over a nansense prank, you both have a fine to pay as tradition demands. Since it started here, we will respect our father inlaw by returning to this same place next week Friday to end it. Both you and your wife will join hands together and bring the following items: 5 tubers of yam, 1 bottle of Kai Kai, 1 bottle of assorted hot drink, 10 litters of palm wine, 1 carton of bear, 1 bottle of snuff, 1 pod of cola, 1 big she-goat and N5000. These are what you give when you decieve the elders. My people, have I omitted anything?”
“No oooo!” everyone echoed from both families.
“Very well then,” he continued. “You are free to go with your wife, but don’t fail to bring us back here on Friday next week,” Chief Afai concluded.
My people, that was it.
Everybody dey do prank ooo, e reach my turn, dem turn ahm to wetin I no know.
Small prank wey I do, dem don gimme list.
God help me.
If I ever do prank for this life again, make I bend.
THE END.
© Ezekiel Umoren
#ezekstory
Hahahahahaha you for do am again na