MY SPIRITUAL WIFE
EPISODE 26
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For a moment there, I thought the pastor was actually talking to me, but after he said “you are not the most handsome but the way girls flock around you is alarming”, I knew for a fact that it couldn’t possibly have been me.
I mean, common! Fine boy like me (In Kizz Daniel’s voice)
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For ten minutes straight, thunderous prayers filled the air. Heads kept turning to see who would run out.
I was curious as well. My head was equally turning to see “who”.
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After having waited for what had now seemed like an eternity, the pastor transcended to something intense; he began to “bind and cast”. This man began speaking in strange languages o. It was as though he was talking to someone; something none of us in attendance could see. The echo in his voice raised hairs.
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Now more than ever, prayers had long turned into screams.
The music from the instruments playing in the background had now gotten louder.
People have now started rolling on the floor.
It was really a busy day for those “brothers” who’d been tasked to hold people; retraining them from dropping to the ground and causing “more harm” than the “Holy spirit” was already doing.
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When I saw people falling under anointing; rolling from one end of the church to the other in manifestation, I said to myself, “I knew it! There was no way this pastor could have been talking to me.” I’d barely finished that thought when I discovered that the pastor was now moving from roll to roll.
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It was a very big church. Where Sam’s girlfriend had gotten us seats was quite a distance from the pulpit, but with the speed at which this pastor was going, he was sure to be standing in front of us in no time.
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I observed something strange. The closer the pastor got to the roll Sam, and I sat down, the more uncomfortable I became (I don’t know if Sam felt the same way).
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I know that I usually have issues with loud noise and large crowds but this feeling was different.
I still had to assume that my uneasiness was as a result, though.
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The Pastor had advanced three rolls before ours when the intensity in my uneasiness was now alarming. He didn’t bother to complete the sweep any longer as soon as we locked eyes.
The pastor smiled, then signaled, beckoning on me to step out.
I threw my face away.
I closed my eyes, pretending to have been lost in prayers.
I began to speak in my native dialect, hoping it’ll be misinterpreted as being “in tongues”.
(Besides, it’s my mother’s tongue after all.)
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“COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW IN JESUS NAME, YOU FOUL SPIRIT!” The Pastor thundered.
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I opened one eye to be sure that the Pastor was talking to me only to discover that he’d now worn a “mean” expression all over his face. His eyes are now piercing through my soul.
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I looked closer and around, to be sure that the pastor didn’t have “quarter past four” eyes.
I wanted to be sure I was not misinterpreting the Pastor’s stare at Sam for me.
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Everyone had now opened their eyes to be sure that they were not the ones being summoned as well.
I attempted to close my eyes again, to continue from where I’d stopped in speaking “in tongues”, but this time, I couldn’t.
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I suddenly began to sweat profusely.
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Everyone was blanked out. I could only see myself and this “seemingly’ fine pastor.
For whatever reason, I suddenly felt sexually attracted to the pastor. I thought this pastor was the hottest person in the room and had now begun to imagine what being bent over by him would feel like.
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I soon found myself licking my lips and winking at the “Man of God”.
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I soon found myself walking out from my seat and advancing towards the pastor. I found myself reaching towards his face with the intention of feeling the softness of his beards and if I am lucky, probably get a kiss from the very sumptuous looking lips I’d now been staring lustfully at, but I never got that chance.
I was up and down in seconds, even when no one had laid a single finger on me.
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The entire church again went into an uproar.
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I was suddenly surrounded by prayer warriors.
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I am sure that most of those “mean” looking faces (Prayer warriors) had just recently graduated from “prayer warrior’s” school.
Their prayers were piercing and very discomforting. At one point, I even tried to attack this particular young man. More than others, his prayers were intense.
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After one whole hour of intense prayers that yet seemed not to be yielding any serious fruits, the pastor commanded that I be taken into his office.
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At this point, I was barely aware of my surroundings. I could barely recognize faces. Everyone in sight appeared hostile and me on the other hand, have been very defensive.
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I suddenly began to feel the urge to use the toilet the moment we stepped into the pastor’s office. I announced this to them and they were kind enough to have allowed me to go and use the restroom, but not without the supervision of two other equally “mean” looking faces.
Since they couldn’t obviously go into the toilet with me, they mounted guard outside.
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I stayed inside the toilet for a while before I started regaining consciousness.
I suddenly felt strange. I somehow knew for sure that I was at the wrong venue. I knew that I shouldn’t be here. I knew that I had to leave as soon as possible. I knew I had to leave, even if it had to be with violence, dropping as many people who dared to stand in my way before I got to the exit door.
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I looked around and saw a steel pipe lying on the ground.
“This is more than enough weapons for me.” I thought to myself. I tucked it in before I reached for the door knob.
To be continued…
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Moshood Avidiime
