MY NAME IS AMANDA PART 3
“This life is not that deep. You are lucky I pleaded with him to still leave you in this house. Instead of you to be grateful, you are looking for more” Sandra said sarcastically.
“I want you baby. come and whine that waist for me” My husband said to as he carried Sandra into the room. Sandra began to giggle really hard.
meanwhile, I was still on my knees.
I don’t know where I managed to get the strength to get up.
I stood up and went into my room. I pulled my clothes down to my underwear and was completely n***d.
I went on my knees and began to sing..
“Take over, Jehovah, I have come to the end of myself.
Alleluia! Alleluia! I have come to the end of myself”
I sang this over and over again with a broken heart. A heart which has been pierced by a lance. I thought about my mother and how she struggled with loneliness and depression.
I broke down in tears again. I cried like a mad woman.
I couldn’t pray as my heart was too heavy to think of a prayer point.
At a point, I laid on the ground in front of my creator who made heaven and Earth. The God who named me in my mother’s womb. The God who was, who is and who is to come.
completely drained of strength, I fell asleep still n***d.
I was awakened by my husband’s touch. He was initiating sxx. To be honest, I was not in the mood for it but I didn’t want to provoke nor drive him away, so I let him have his way as usual. Immediately he reached orgasm, he deserted me.
To me, sxx is no longer pleasurable, it is just an obligation I owe my husband and nothing more.
To be continued
MY NAME IS AMANDA PART 4
Early January 2017, I fell really ill. I treated typhoid and malaria but still, no improvement. I was advised to go see a doctor, so I went to the hospital to get tested.
After series of tests, the doctor discovered I was pregnant but almost harmed the foetus because of the malaria drugs I took. He advised me stop self medication.
My joy knew no bound when I discovered I was pregnant. After seven years in this marriage that is devoid of love and affection, I was finally getting compensated. Remember, I lost my first pregnancy due to domestic violence in 2015.
when I got home, I prepared my husband’s favorite meal. When he was done eating, I broke the news to him.
“My husband, I am Pregnant” I said excitedly.
“I pray your womb will carry this one to term” He replied coldly.
Again, agony exploded like a bomb of fire in my heart. I quickly waved off the negativity as I didn’t want anything to stop my joy.
I was clearing the table when Sandra rushed in excitedly.
“Baby guess what” she asked beaming with smiles
“You know I’m not good at guessing, spill already” My husband answered curiously.
“I am Pregnant baby, I’m carrying your baby” Sandra spilled excitedly.
my husband quickly carried her on his arm and was spinning her with so much enthusiasm.
“Please drop me, it’s not good for our baby” Sandra said amidst laughter.
I felt a sharp pain of jealousy in my heart. Why didn’t this man react this way when I told him about mine? I know I’m not wanted in the house but I couldn’t bear to watch my unborn baby go through same fate.
At this point, I began to hate my husband. I wished he could just fall down and die.
To be continued
Judith Onyoyibo
