🧖♀️MARRIED💞
Episode 9.
©Miriam Edem
That evening Mary came and signalled me and I quickly ran out to meet her outside the compound,
“Did you see the pills? I asked.
“Yes na, but the problem is I don’t know how many you should take o but I think you should start with 1, Mary replied.
‘Oh Mary you don’t even know the right dosage for it, I said.
“Is it me that is doing the abortion? Will you try it or not? Mary asked.
“Fine, thanks, I said getting the drugs from her.
“Remember I said one o, when we meet tomorrow we’ll talk, she said but I just waved at her to go and ran back. I already had something to eat, so I just fetched water and kept looking at the drugs,
“It is not this super glue kind of womb 1 of this drugs will work na, I need to take like 2 each so it can be active, I wondered and that was how I took 2 of the drugs each and breathed out. I safely kept the rest where my mom won’t see and settled to rest.
After 2 hours I began to see stars and I’ll close my eyes and shake my head. I started feeling dizzy and tried getting up from where I sat so I can rest my head, but I saw myself on the ground.
“Sharon! Sharon! I kept hearing my name and everywhere became blackout.
I woke up only God knows how to see myself in the hospital. My head was still aching when i turned and saw my mother sitting with her head leaned on the wall.
“Mommy! I called out and she opened her eyes looking at me. Her face was so red as if she wanted beating me blue black,
“Why did you do that Sharon? You wanted killing yourself right? She asked.
“What happened? I asked.
“Are you asking me that? What drugs did you take? You really think that the child you are carrying can be flushed out? I have warned you to stop it else you’ll hurt yourself or end up dying but you won’t listen to me. You are believing Chinenye mother abi? If she was that all knowing why didn’t she take away Chinenye? Why won’t you learn from your sisters death and take corrections? This is the last time i will warn you about this and I won’t beg you anymore, go ahead and keep taking in drugs and see for yourself the result of it, my mom angrily said while I looked at her with my mouth opened. I still couldn’t understand what she was saying, or is she trying to say the drugs didn’t work and the baby is still doing odeshi inside? I wondered and just gave up.
I was discharged and my mother took me back home, I was so quiet and confused as I started imagining me small Sharon will soon be a mother. How will I train such a child when I am not in my right senses to start with. Why should I bring a child into such a family knowing she will still meet my fate and will share in my pain. Despite I hated what i was carrying, but I still believe my baby does not deserve to inherit what he or she does not know about. I should not transfer insecurities and instability to her knowing it is inevitable as long as I am giving birth to her.
Will i be able to face motherhood and the village? Was this the same fear my mother had when she carried me? I wondered as I cried alone and my mother touched me.
“You know am here for you right? She asked and I sniffed.
“I don’t understand anymore, and it hurts that this cycle will still continue and I wish it can just end with me and not my baby, I said and my mother smiled touching my hair.
“I’m so happy to hear you say my baby, my mother said.
“I know I hated the child but then I can’t help it and I can’t stop myself from being scared. What will I tell her when she grows up? I asked.
“Wow you already know the s*x of your child huh? My mother asked not concerned about my worries at all.
“Mommy you know we are the girls family na, I replied and she kept my head on her shoulder.
“Just keep calm, Everything will be alright and besides i told your father about this and he promised to support you, my mother said and I scoffed.
“I don’t need his help, I said.
“You should be happy at least you know your father what about……… We heard a scream outside and we ran out at once to see one of my sisters rolling on the ground crying.
“What happened! My mother asked..
“She had a call that her son was machete when he went out with his friends for a job, one of my sister replied and I just looked at my mother.
“Machete? I asked and found somewhere to sit down because i wasn’t strong myself after i just escaped my own death as I watched my mother slowly going to comfort the lady.
But I thought the males in my family escaped this death fate? I was envious of them that they had no worry unlike the females, but I think I was wrong, I wondered as i watched them cried.
When we got in I saw my mother very quiet and I knew she must be thinking so hard about something,
“Mommy what is it? I asked.
“2 deaths in less than a week, my mother quickly replied and I heaved.
“That’s the first male right? I asked and she looked at me.
“Who told you that? Anyway you were so young then so you won’t remember, this is the 4th male in this family that has died by the machete, my mother replied and I jumped up.
“What! You’re joking right? I asked and my mother cleaned her face still down with thoughts while I kept blinking my eyes with my mouth still opened in shock………….
No matter how hard I tried to hide the pregnancy, it didn’t stop my stomach from shooting out and everyone knew about it. Everyone told me to stop going to school, but I was stubborn and continued until I wrote my SS2 mock exams. My classmates knew I won’t return back to school, to them my education has ended.
“I applaud your strength Sharon, as in you over try, you no just mind the shame you still dey carry the belle come. Too bad I could not help out, Mary said after the exams and i smiled.
“Its alright, there’s nothing to be ashamed of when everyone knows who we are anyway, I replied.
“I’ll miss you in school o, chai God, Mary said.
“I am still coming back o, Sharon must finish her secondary school and I mean it, i said and Mary screamed out.
“That’s the spirit, give me hi-five girl, Mary said and we gave ourselves a high five and I slowly looked at my protruded belle.
“I know I don’t have much to give to you, but I’ll sure give you a better life somehow, I slowly said to myself and gave a weak smile.
2 months later at 3a.m my water broke. Fortunately for me I had a sister who helps women give birth, and it was indeed war. For good 3 hours I was still in labour and extremely weak. My mother ran around with her sisters to get me what to drink for strength until my sister fearfully told her to take me to the hospital.
“At this state? My mother asked.
“Sharon might not make it please and I don’t know what else to do, my sister told my mom.
“I don’t want to die please, i cried to my mom in pains and she held my hands.
“Wait here let me go find a taxi, wait for me Sharon I’ll be back, my mother said in tears and ran out.
“What exactly was going on? My sister was the best midwife in the village and there was no case she could not handle, but why is my case different? Or is it that my baby does not want to be delivered here? I thought breathing hard as my sister decided to try her luck again.
“Okay Sharon one more time, you’re a strong girl you know and you can do this. Take a deep breath, she said parting my legs and i shook my head.
“Please no, I cried.
“Just one time, push Sharon now! She shouted and I did but it was not working. I weakly threw my hands gasping for air and saw Chinenye, she couldn’t stand my sight and she ran out of the room.
“The taxi I here, I heard them said outside as I tried keeping my eyes open……….
TBC
#milove. 🧖♀️
