Episode 5: Turning Pain Into Power
They say pain changes you.
And I believe it.
But it also awakens you.
The experience with James—or whatever his real name was—left me gutted. Humiliated. But as the weeks passed, that pain began to evolve. From shame… into something else.
Anger. Clarity. Purpose.
I realized this wasn’t just my story. This was a global epidemic.
Thousands of women (and even men) were being manipulated, robbed, and emotionally broken every single day by organized online romance scammers.
Many of them operating from West Africa. Many using crypto wallets, gift cards, and fake identities to vanish without a trace.
I knew I couldn’t get my money back. But maybe, just maybe—I could get my voice back.
Joining the Fight
With Michelle’s help, I started learning more about the scammers.
We found YouTube channels dedicated to exposing “Yahoo Boys”—young men in Nigeria and Ghana who run online romance scams as a full-time hustle.
Some of these scammers even film themselves celebrating after “cashing out” on victims like me. They show off clothes, flashy cars, and designer shoes—paid for by women’s tears.
It made my blood boil.
I started collecting screenshots of scam profiles on dating apps—especially Facebook Dating, Tinder, and Plenty of Fish. Almost all had similar patterns:
-
Too good to be true photos (often of models, soldiers, or engineers abroad)
-
Sob stories within the first week
-
Quick declarations of love
-
And of course… the financial emergency
Some even used cryptocurrency terms—Bitcoin, Solana, Tether (USDT)—to make their scams sound more modern and legitimate.
“I just need help accessing my crypto wallet.”
“I can send you 5 SOL; can you convert it to dollars for me?”
“My funds are stuck in Binance; I need a local bank to release them.”
I recognized the language. I had lived that script.
Becoming an Advocate
I decided to take all this anger and shame and do something with it.
So, I launched a small blog called RomanceScamRecovery.com.
My very first post was titled:
“He Hacked My Heart: The Truth About Crypto Love Scams”
I didn’t hold back. I named the apps, the platforms, the techniques. I shared links to government reporting portals like:
-
FBI’s IC3 (Internet Crime Complaint Center)
-
FTC’s ReportFraud.ftc.gov
-
RomanceScams.org for survivor resources
I also posted email templates, bank dispute tips, and a “red flag checklist” for women starting new online relationships.
To my surprise, the site gained traction.
One of my posts was shared by a popular online safety podcast.
Women began emailing me their stories.
And in every story, I saw a reflection of myself.
A nurse from Kentucky who lost $9,000 in crypto.
A widow from Arizona who sent $20,000 in gift cards.
A lawyer from Boston who was scammed by a “doctor in Dubai.”
Different names. Same con.
Connecting the Dots
One evening, I received a message from a cybercrime researcher in South Africa. She had read my blog and wanted to talk.
During our Zoom call, she explained that romance fraud is often tied to larger criminal networks—sometimes even linked to money laundering and human trafficking.
“These scammers are often part of organized rings. Some don’t even keep all the money—they work under bosses,” she said.
That chilled me.
The man who broke my heart might’ve been nothing more than a cog in a dirty, global machine.
But that conversation fueled me further.
I started working with local police in Columbus, helping them understand how these scams operate. I gave a seminar at our community center titled:
“Love, Lies & Bitcoin: The Dark Side of Online Romance”
It was packed.
Every seat filled with women over 40, listening with wide eyes.
When I finished, they stood and applauded.
Not because I was a great speaker… but because I had turned my pain into power.
A New Mission
I may never see the $14,300 again.
I may never know who “James” really was.
But I know this:
He didn’t win.
Because I’m no longer a victim—I’m a voice.
And if that voice stops even one woman from falling into the same trap?
Then maybe… just maybe… it was all worth it.
