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In today’s Nigeria, getting married is often seen as a sign of progress, maturity, and social achievement. But beyond the glamour of wedding ceremonies and social media pictures lies a hard truth many do not talk about. A growing number of Nigerian couples, especially in their first few years of marriage, are battling the harsh realities of being married but broke. For many, the struggle begins inside a tiny one-room apartment where dreams collide with reality.
Living in Tight Spaces: More Than Just a Small Room
For most couples living in a one-room apartment, space is not just physical but symbolic. It represents limited opportunities, constrained ambitions, and daily compromises. There is no privacy. Every argument, every moment of affection, every financial discussion happens in full view of each other. Some couples even share the same compound toilet or bathroom with multiple tenants. This lack of personal space often breeds frustration.
The Financial Reality
Many of these couples survive on one income or unstable earnings. The husband might be a bike rider, factory worker, low-level civil servant, or a struggling entrepreneur. The wife may be unemployed or doing petty trading to support the home. Monthly income may not exceed 50,000 to 80,000 naira, yet they must pay rent, buy food, fuel a small generator, and sometimes cater to a new baby.
The harsh economic climate in Nigeria has left many young men marrying with little or no savings. Pressures from family and society push them into early marriages, but the cost of sustaining that marriage is often underestimated.
Power Struggles and Gender Roles
The absence of money changes the power dynamic in many homes. Some women, out of frustration, begin to question their husbands’ ability to provide. Others take up jobs and businesses to contribute financially, which sometimes leads to ego clashes. The man may feel emasculated, while the woman may feel overburdened.
In cases where in-laws get involved, the situation becomes worse. Some parents criticize their daughters for choosing “a poor man”, while others pressure the man to “man up” without understanding the full picture.
Raising Children in Difficult Conditions
For couples with children, raising a child in a one-room apartment is emotionally and mentally draining. Diapers dry on the same line with undergarments. When the baby cries at night, neighbors complain. When one partner falls sick, the other has to cope without any help.
The educational future of their children is also uncertain. With no money to send the child to a good nursery or primary school, many settle for the cheapest options, hoping things will improve someday.
Mental and Emotional Stress
Living in survival mode puts a strain on mental health. Some women become depressed but mask it with smiles. Men silently drown in shame, constantly questioning their worth. There’s hardly time or money for therapy, vacations, or even date nights. Romance suffers. Communication breaks down. And in worst cases, the marriage ends.
Yet these struggles are not often discussed publicly. Society only sees the smiling pictures on Instagram, not the silent tears in the middle of the night.
What Needs to Change
There is no shame in starting small, but there is danger in staying stuck without support. Young couples need mentorship, financial literacy, and access to low-interest loans or grants that can help them scale their income. Family planning is also critical. Having multiple children when you can barely feed two adults only worsens the problem.
The government must also look into affordable housing solutions and job creation, especially in urban and semi-urban centers.
Final Thoughts
Marriage is not just about love. It’s also about structure, planning, and resilience. For every young couple living in a cramped room with little to nothing, your story is valid. You are not alone. It is okay to struggle, but it is not okay to give up.
The silent struggles of married but broke couples deserve attention, not judgment.
