My desires episode 13

PART 13.

The last part,

My Desires 💖🔥🔞

(A story inspired by a true life event)

Exiting Kennedy’s hotel room, I walked down the lounge with a heavy heart and pain dragging my feet along.

“Hey, are you alright? How did it go?” Alex calmly inquired with a mix of pity and curiosity as she approached me.

“It’s over,” I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes.

Alex embraced me tightly upon hearing those words, and I couldn’t hold back the flood of tears any longer.

After a while, Alex drove me back to my shop. During the journey, I remained silent, lost in my thoughts. When we arrived in front of my shop, Alex gently called my name, snapping me back to reality.

“Vivian,” she softly called tapping my shoulder, and I turned to her, feeling lost and confused.

“Hey, don’t torture yourself with overthinking. We should give him some time, I believe he’s just hurt right now,” she advised.

“Alex, do you think he will ever come around? With the way he spoke to me back there, it’s clear he has lost interest in our marriage. Will he ever forgive me?” I asked fighting back tears.

Alex took a deep breath and replied, “Honestly, I can’t guarantee he will forgive you for your actions.”

“Why not?” I asked in shock.

“Vivian, we are Africans remember? Infidelity is rarely forgiven by African men, regardless of the reasons behind it. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for our women, who often learn to forgive their husbands over time,” Alex explained.

“Isn’t that unfair? Cheating is cheating, regardless of gender. It doesn’t make sense that our men can’t forgive us for cheating but expect us to forgive them for the same act,” I protested.

“Blame it on our society that normalized it, justifying that men are naturally polygamous and teaching us to pray and forgive them when they cheat. This norm has persisted for generations. Remember the story of the adulterous woman in the Bible? She was caught with a man, yet only she was condemned. It shows how cheating is deemed acceptable when it involves a man but abominable when it’s a woman,” Alex said, shedding light on the societal bias.

Unfortunately, Alex’s assessment was accurate. It is a rare and almost insurmountable challenge for an African man to reconcile with or forgive his unfaithful wife, especially when he has been faithful throughout the relationship.

In my desperate quest for my husband’s forgiveness, I repeatedly returned to the hotel where he was staying. Eventually, he checked out and concealed his whereabouts from me. For three agonizing months, we lived apart, depriving me of any chance to see or communicate with him. Depression consumed me, and I drowned in guilt, yet I couldn’t confide in either his family or mine.

What reason could I possibly give for our marital strife? How could I face my mother, a prominent leader in the local Christian women’s organization? What judgment would my mother-in-law pass on me when she learned of my infidelity to her gentle-hearted son? I was ashamed and emotionally drained, knowing that I was at fault. Then, one day, a divorce lawyer showed up at our doorstep and presented me with divorce papers, urging me to sign them.

I was shattered and devastated, realizing that it had all come to an end. However, I agreed to sign the divorce papers on the condition that I could see my husband and speak with him one last time in our home.

In response to my request, Kennedy came home for the first time in three months. Seeing him, I was rendered speechless, unable to utter a word. Tears had long since deserted my eyes, and words failed me. Our children were overjoyed to have him back, which brought me a feeling of the fulfillment I longed for.

“So, you wanted to see me?” he began once the children were asleep.

“Yes, I did,” I replied softly, wearing a sad and feeble smile.

“Alright, here I am,” he said with indifference.

At that moment, I couldn’t decide which hurt more: his treatment of me as a stranger or his readiness to throw away everything we had built over the past six years.

“I wanted to be sure if this is what you truly want,” I said.

“Of course, Vivian, isn’t it clear to you that there is nothing left between us? The bond, the trust, and the affection are all gone,” he stated, devoid of emotion.

“How would you know if you keep avoiding and staying away from me? Kennedy, I will sign the divorce papers, but first, I need to be certain that I am making the right decision. I need to be sure that there’s nothing left worth holding onto. Please, just grant me this one last request for the sake of what we shared,” I implored.

“And how do you intend to achieve that?” he inquired.

“First, you have to return home. I can sleep in a separate room if sharing a bed with me makes you uncomfortable. All I ask is for you to give me six months to attempt to restore what we once had,” I explained.

“…and what happens if you fail at restoring it?” he interjected.

“Then, I promise that I will accept my fate and sign the divorce papers like you wanted,” I replied.

“Alright, In that case, I will need some time to think it over,” he said, swiftly rising from his seat. “Good night, Vivian,” he added before leaving the house, presumably returning to his hotel room or wherever he had been spending his nights for the past three months.

Fortunately, or so I believed at the time, he responded a week later and finally returned home with his belongings. It was a heartwarming moment for me. True to my promise, I invested immense effort in trying to rekindle the love and connection my husband and I had once shared. However, it is fruitless when one person is diligently working to restore the marriage while the other seems determined to end it.

My husband’s behavior took a distressing turn. He stopped eating the meals I prepared, convinced I might be attempting to use a love potion on him. He ceased sharing a bed with me, fearing I might try to seduce him to use Aphrodite products (Kayanmata) to control him. Suspicion loomed over our every interaction, with him accusing me of spending time with other men whenever I returned late from the market or shop. He even went as far as accusing me of infidelity merely for engaging in innocent conversations with men, whether in my shop or elsewhere. I witnessed a side of him I never knew existed, and he publicly branded me as promiscuous. Regrettably, I blamed myself for playing a role in making him so insecure.

His insecurity and altered behavior drained me physically and emotionally. I found myself yearning for the six months to swiftly conclude so I could sign the divorce papers and liberate myself from this turmoil. Despite my earnest efforts, it became painfully clear that reconciliation with Kennedy was an impossible task. Shortly before the six months elapsed, I mustered the courage to finally open up to both of our parents, informing them of our decision to file for a divorce in a few weeks. My mother’s reaction to the news was particularly harsh, as she felt ashamed and concerned about her reputation and what other women in her circle would say upon learning of my transgressions. Nevertheless, my decision remained unchanged, driven by the need to spare Kennedy from further emotional damage. Ultimately, the six months came to a close, and I signed the divorce papers.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

PRESENT DAY.

Today marks three months since I signed the divorce papers. My divorce lawyer called a short while ago to remind me of our official court appearance and the dissolution of my seven-year marriage to my beloved husband, Kennedy, with whom I will now be co-parenting. It saddens me that things ended this way, but I’ve gained invaluable lessons about the consequences of deception and infidelity in a marriage. I understand that once trust is shattered, rebuilding it can be an impossible and difficult journey, and, a web of lies can lead to even greater complications, ultimately resulting in the breakdown of a marriage. I’ve learned the vital importance of open communication and honesty in maintaining a healthy and trusting relationship. Most importantly, I’m committed to using my experience to educate others, especially ladies about the dangers of sexx addiction.

Sexx addiction is real and people often assume that sexx and pornography addiction is experienced mainly in men. However, female sexx addicts exist as well and they experience the same symptoms as men, participating in risky behaviors to satisfy their desires.

Just like men, sexx-addicted women are obsessive about sexx. They are constantly thinking about sexx, trying to find ways to engage in it, or battling the urge to have it. For many people, the urge to have sex can be severely detrimental, affecting their mental health, relationships, and even their ability to hold down a job. That’s how powerful sex addiction can be.

It is important to understand that although sex and porn addiction are not “formally” diagnosable, these conditions exist and often present with very adverse consequences and high levels of distress, guilt, and emotional turmoil. It begins with things like excessive use of porn, excessive masturbation, phone or cybersex, constant patronizing sex workers, consensual sexual activity with multiple partners, spending excessive time satisfying sexual needs, and neglecting responsibilities at home or work. Then it grows to you feeling powerless over how you act sexually. Your sexual choices begin to make your life unmanageable. You start feeling shame, embarrassment or even regret over your sexual acts (mostly in ladies). You promise yourself you will change, but fail to keep those promises. You are so preoccupied with sex that it becomes like a ritual to you.

If your sexual appetite and activities are causing you distress, consuming your life, and causing harm to your personal, professional, and/or family life, it’s time to talk with your healthcare professional. Many people don’t seek care because they’re ashamed or feel guilty. Your healthcare team makes no judgment about your sexual behavior. They’re there to help you. The best outcome will be reached if you’re honest and open with everyone, your family, your partner, your medical team, and most importantly, yourself. Many treatment options are available to help you.

Although there isn’t a cure for sex addiction, however, if you recognize it and want to end your excessive thoughts, desires, urges, and behaviors, it can be effectively managed. It requires your life-long commitment, just as it would for other types of addictions. Your healing journey will require you to be patient and stay focused on your goal. It’s up to you and I trust you can do it. Your entire healthcare team is ready to help you. Choose to let them.

I will stop here. Bye, I am off to get ready for my court appearance. I do hope you’ve learned a lot from my life story.

THE END!!!

THANKS FOR READING TO THE END.

Now, having read from the beginning to the end of “MY DESIRES,” who or what do you think is to be blamed for ViVian’s failed marriage?

1) Vivian, who was a sex addict and without clear communication with her husband capitalized on the assumption that he didn’t care about her needs and therefore, allowed her sexual desires to lead her into an affair with Daniel while her husband was away.

Or,

2) Kennedy, whose intentions may have been to provide for his family, but he failed to communicate his past and the reasons behind his workaholic nature to his wife. Thereby, giving his wife the misconception that he didn’t care.

Or,

3) Daniel, who despite knowing that Vivian was married, didn’t know when to draw his boundaries and kept meddling in her life until she fell for him during her vulnerable state.

Let’s hear your thoughts 👇

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