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Deaconess Beatrice and Jerry had a lengthy discussion. The result was that Deaconess moved from the hotel into a single room self contained apartment that belonged to Jerry’s younger sister. She was studying abroad and had left her house in Jerry’s care. They’d agreed that Deaconess would stay back in Kaduna until she’s emotionally ready to face her familiar society. When she expressed the willingness to book the hotel room for a long stay, Jerry suggested that she could stay in his younger sister’s house for as long as she want. He assured her that his sister won’t be coming around anytime soon. He would take care of her antenatal care.
In the evening of the same day, Deaconess sat on the bed and allowed her eyes to rove round the one room apartment. She should be grateful that someone was willing to help out and indeed, she was grateful. Nevertheless, she had regret mixed with her gratefulness. Who would ever imagine her in this kind of room and planning to stay for weeks or months when she had a huge house with lots of empty rooms unused? Sin can indeed reduce a man to a morsel of bread and bring one down to the lowest. It forces one to do what you won’t do ordinarily in order to cover your shame.
Deaconess stood to inspect her bathroom and the cubicle sized kitchen. She loved space; especially her own space. But she had no choice than to manage what she got.
She moved back to the bed and uncovered her dinner of rice and stew. She had earlier made the food by herself. Jerry had volunteered to take her to the local market where she got substancial amount of food stuffs. She had no plan of moving around town unnecessarily, so she got all that she would need. Kaduna is not too far from her base and someone in town for something else might just see her, her enlarging middle and put two and two together. She wouldn’t give them something to chew till she makes her disclosure.
Deaconess shuddered when she envisaged the events that would come after her disclosure. How the pastor and his wife and the church as a whole would react. How she would be made to face the church disciplinary committee. And after that, she would stand facing the congregation with all eyes on her as the pastor reads out her sin and the verdict.
” With hearts full of regret,” he would begin. ” It is saddening to announce to the church that Deaconess Beatrice Atanda Collins fell into the sin of adultery and got herself pregnant.”
The church would gasp with complete consternation. The young people would leave their mouth agape . The women would pinch themselves and turn to one another in questioning glare. Men would bow their heads because they would be ashamed for her.
” The church is hereby suspending her from all ministerial posts. She will henceforth sit on a special chair designed for erring members. At every service, she will sit facing the church for all to see and remember what she did and not fall into her kind of sin. It will also remind them that whatever is done in secret will always come to light. The church will thereafter send counsellors who will be counselling her on weekly basis until she finds her feet again.”
That had always been the disciplinary measure taken against erring members. She knew that the pastor wouldn’t change it for her. On that day, the pastor would direct the whole church to stretch their hands forward and pray for her. Many of the members would say the prayer halfheartedly, because their minds would be occupied by conflicting thoughts. Afterwards, he would point her to a high backed seat by the side of the church, ‘the seat reserved for Sinners’.
That had been the custom of Beulah for years; punishing erring members and putting them on the ‘hot sinner’s seat’ every sunday, where more than half of the congregants would see, look at them disgustingly and sneer. They would stand in the place of God and judge them. Never mind that 90% of the judges are also chronic sinners. If only the mind is like a calabash, we will be able to open it and see everyone’s intent.
Deaconess had never seen other categories of sinners on the ‘sinner’s seat’ apart from so called adulterers and fornicators. Someone that impregnates someone. A church member that impregnates someone’s daughter. A housewife that is caught having affair with someone different from her husband. A brother and sister that ate the forbidden fruit before their wedding day. On and on and on, the list goes. She had always wondered if some sins are bigger than others. Are there no other sins apart from the ones that has to do with s*x?
She would definitely sit on the seat, because the church won’t spare her.
She’d always seen women receiving most of the church punishment. They are always at the receiving end. And the menfolk would constitute majority of the judging panel.
It started in the bible. When Judah’s daughter-in-law was caught in the middle of an adultery and pregnancy scandal. Her father-in- law was the first to suggest that she should be brought out and be burnt, not knowing that he was responsible for her pregnancy. At a time, she had disguised as a harlot to get her right from him. His restless phallus had driven him to her. He had no right to judge her.
What of the woman that was caught in the very act in the book of John 8:1- 11. They brought her to Jesus, fuming with anger, eager to carry out instant judgement on her. If one may ask, if really she was caught in the act, where was the man that was doing the do with her? He went scot free, because it’s a man’s world. Little wonder parents focus too much attention on the girl child, while the boy is allowed to go on living his life and sowing his wild oat.
Deaconess wished the law of the church could change a bit. If only the church could infuse love into their method of discipline. When you beat a child with the right hand, it is necessary that you draw him closer with the left. A baby must never be thrown away with the bath water. Any discipline given without Love will never achieve the desired purpose. Love should be the utmost in all our actions.
The insensitive method of church disciplined had sent many out of the church in times past. Some that stayed had lived their lives in depression because of the attitude of people towards them. Deaconess remembered the story of Martha Aboderin. That girl almost committed suicide after she was disgraced in church. Deaconess was nursing her first son when the incident happened. She remembered how the church and her family casted her out. No one believed her story that she was raped by Jide, another member of the church. If not for Grace that found Martha, a great destiny would have been sacrificed on the altar of discipline without sensitivity. Martha ended up marrying Pastor Kayode, a firebrand minister of God. Both of them are assets in the kingdom of God. Martha had singlehandedly written over 30 books on parenting, marriage, sexual purity and related matter.
Mrs. Chukwuka’s daughter was disciplined in like manner. She ended up leaving the church and renouncing religion. If only someone had shown her love. If only she had been led to Christ at the time she derailed. Another church girl ended up getting punished twice. It had no impact in her life. At the end, she got married to a non-christian.
Deaconess remembered the bible passage that admonished Christians to discipline in love.
Gal.6.1 – Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
Gal.6.2 – Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
Gal.6.3 – For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.
Deaconess wished she could champion a course demanding that the church amend its method of discipline. But that might not be feasible now that she’s also billed for the ‘sinner’s seat.’
Deaconess managed to eat a little portion of her dinner. As she raised her legs to the bed, her phone rang.
It was Reverend calling.
Her heart jumped into her mouth. She’d been avoiding the Reverend. When his wife called her yesterday, she told her that she was traveling. She would have to build on that by telling them that she might be away for a while, since she would stay in kaduna until she will report herself to them.
When the phone rang for the second time, she picked. They exchanged pleasantries and Reverend asked if she was in town.
” No sir. I am not around,” Deaconess replied.
” Oh, I thought you changed your mind about traveling when I saw your car at the hospital.”
Deaconess almost dropped the phone. How could Kola be so careless as to take her ride to the hospital. He should have known better.
Reverend noted the momentary hesitation from Deaconess and sighed.
” Actually, I’m not in town,” she replied. ” I gave the car to someone to work on it. I came here with public transport.”
” That’s okay. I thought you were in the hospital when I saw the car. We were there to see Mrs. Kola.”
” Mrs Kola?” Deaconess feigned ignorance.
” Mr. Kola Johnson’s wife. She had a domestic accident and ended up losing her five-months-old pregnancy.”
” Jesus!” Deaconess screamed.
No wonder Kola did not pick her call when she called. She wanted to ask about his journey and the state of his wife’s health. Poor Jumoke, deaconess cried. It is so pathetic.
Things are now more complicated, since Jumoke has lost her pregnancy, Deaconess reasoned. It has totally ruled out the possibility of her telling anyone that Kola is the father of her baby. If she dare say it, she might be labeled a witch. People will attribute the misfortune of Jumoke, to the unholy alliance between her and Kola.
She will have to carry her cross alone. She needs all the help from above.
TO BE CONTINUED
Β© BOSEDE FAGBEMI
Good evening everyone. I will leave you with this.
Any discipline given without love will not achieve the desired purpose.
I mentioned Martha in this episode. If you have not read her story in ‘ spoilt at church’ , please take your time to do so.
God bless you.
