New Ugly Tenant


We had a new tenant in the compound about three weeks ago.

This man has a wife and four lovely kids.

Two boys and two girls.

Sometimes you may wonder how ugly couples get beautiful kids.

This man is so ugly that even when he is happy, his face will still betray him.

Every time, his face looks as if he is crying.

He has an intimidating appearance.

Big chest and broaden shoulders.

Tall and dark.

He has a deep voice like that of a lion.

Whenever he comes back, everywhere will be quite.

My son and other children in the compound will run inside at his sight.

His wife is beautiful though.

We do not know the kind of job he does as none of us is bold enough to ask him.

He goes out in the morning well dressed, and returns in the evening.

This man has been tormenting our spirits.

He has taken away most of our freedoms as we no longer enjoy the once free life we used to live.

We all think he is evil.
So last week, uncle fisherman decided to give him a run for his strength.

My spiritually inclined skinny short fisherman next door neighbor brought a prophetess to the compound.

His mission was to find out if truly this new tenant is evil.

As the prophetess began her work, the ugly uncle returned from work.

My son ran inside and we joined him immediately.

We peeped thorough the window to view how the two spirits were going to fight.

“Every spirit of intimidation, every spirit of dominance, every evil spirit parading in this compound, die by fire. Die by fire. Die by fire,” the prophetess fired on.

The prophetess came out from uncle fisherman’s room and began to sprinkle olive oil and holy water round the compound while still shouting “fire” everywhere.

For real, this new tenant does not like noise.

Whenever he returns from work, everywhere will be quiet.

Even his children will enter ghost mode.

His wife will become dumb.

So as the prophetess was still setting the compound on fire, the new tenant came out.

Mere seeing his face, you will realize that some evil spirits are still dwelling on earth in human form.

As he came out, he stood by his door post, and was waiting for the prophetess to cease her fire.

But since the woman was not going off the radar anytime soon, he decided to call uncle fisherman.

“Bru, excuse me for a moment. I’ll like to have a word with you,” said the new tenant.

“Me?”, asked uncle fisherman while placing his right palm on his chest.

The ugly uncle did not answer.

My skinny neighbor had no choice than to heed the call.

“Tell your woman to lower her voice. This is not your private property. You do things like this in your personal compound and not in someone’s compound. I want to rest and I would not want to come out again for this reason.”

On relating the information to the prophetess, instead of heeding the advice, she increased the magnitude of the fire.

Uncle fisherman became more afraid.

Maybe he thought they were going to finish the prayers before the ugly uncle returned.

But it failed him.

He could no longer control the prophetess.

The prophetess took the prayers to his entrance.

Out of anger, the ugly tenant roared like a hungry lion.

He rushed out devour the prophetess.

On seeing him, the prophetess threw away her olive oil and holy water and took to heels.

As uncle fisherman wanted to join the race, he mistakenly ran into the man’s wife who was carrying a pot of soup from the kitchen to the house.

The woman fell down and the soup poured on the ground.

Thanks to God, no one was hurt.

But uncle fisherman is yet to return home.

Today is the third day since they set the compound on fire.

He must come back.

© Ezekiel Umoren

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