New Ugly Tenant episode 4


So we all went into our various rooms to bear our different crosses.

I had tried not to get entangled in the web of that trouble, but uncle fisherman still dragged me into it.

Ugly uncle heard when we refered to him as “ugly uncle”.

When I told him that we should forgive our neighbors as the Bible taught, I was referring to myself.

Yes, I wanted him to forgive me.

How was I that careless to be lured into the matter by uncle fisherman.

As a wise man, ugly uncle knew that you do not rush to kill a lion, rather you take your time to plan the attack. Maybe that was the reason he rescheduled his attack.

I went inside that night and locked everywhere.

I pushed the deep freezer behind the door.

I pushed the sofas behind the deep freezer.

I used everything heavy to block the door in case ugly uncle decided to lunch his attack later in the night.

My wife was starring at me like an Egyptian mummy.

“My dear what is it?” she raised an alarm when she could not bear it anymore.

“Ssshhhhh! Lower your voice. Help me push this, I will tell you later,” I kept responding.

When I was done, I entered the shower to freshen up.

“Baby what is it? You are making me scared,” my wife kept saying.

I sat on the bed and tried to comport myself.

My wife rushed to where she kept the money for contribution she collected from her work place.

She hid it in a more secured place.

Maybe she thought I was preparing against a robbery attack.

When she was done, she joined me on the bed.

It was then I told her that uncle fisherman had drag me into his matter.

I told her about the unceremonial return of uncle fisherman.

I told her that ugly uncle heard when we referred to him as ugly uncle, and I told her the last thing ugly uncle said.

My wife did not even allow me to finish when she flared up.

“Is that why you’re doing all these? Is he not ugly?” shouted my wife.

I tried to cover her mouth, but she flarred and shouted the more.

“If he is man enough let him try any rubbish with you. He will know the stuff I am made of. Is it because I’ve been respecting him? I will show him that I am not afraid of him. Na respect I dey respect ahm, I no dey fear ahm. I go show ahm say I don craze many times. Nonsense. As if he is not ugly. Remove these things from the door let me approach him this minute. I will show him the power of a woman. I hate nonsense….” my wife kept talking.

I expected it that way, because whenever anybody wants to tresspass into our home, my wife will never allow such to happen.

The fire that uncle fisherman, in connivance with his prophetess, set in the compound did enter my house.

I was on fire all through the night.

I knew everyone in the compound heard my wife loud and clear.

The following morning was a Saturday – a day for compound cleaning.

Before 6:30am, work had already gone far.

Uncle fisherman was seen working closer to my wife.

Wherever my wife entered, he followed her like a he-goat.

Maybe he wanted to dwell under her shadow for protection.

So after the compound cleaning, ugly uncle said he would love to see us all.

As the care taker, I called for chairs, but he insisted that we stand.

“You all know what happened in the compound few days ago,” began the ugly uncle. “How my wife was pushed down and her pot of soup gone. My family went to bed without food that night. Then yesterday, I was referred to as the ugly uncle.”

I turned to look for my wife. She walked towards me, insuring my safety.

“I may be ugly, but I have beautiful kids. Look at me children. I always thank God for them. No one will ever believe they are mine.”

He paused and turned to uncle fisherman.

“I know you are a spiritual man. I love the spirit, but please next time you do your thing, don’t disturb the peace of the environment. I have forgiven you.”

There was a massive jubilation in the compound.

In a bid to show how happy he was, uncle fisherman promised to give every family in the compound free fish for seven days.

And that was the end of the palava.

Most times we judge a book by its cover.

Who would have thought that ugly uncle has such a large heart?

Let us not be hasty to draw conclusions on people we do not really know.



© Ezekiel Umoren

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