New Ugly Tenant episode 2


Ever since uncle fisherman ran away with his prophetess, his phone has been off.

We the other tenants have been very careful not to give the ugly uncle any reason to get provoked, because we do not want any transfer of aggression.

Throughout the three days of uncle fisherman’s self-imposed exile, ugly uncle have been checking on his door frequently.

When uncle fisherman ran away, he did not lock his door. In fact, he did not even close it. Maybe that was why ugly uncle kept checking his door.

Who would dare to close a door that has been opened by a mini god?

So last night, I got a beep on my phone.

You know those kind of flashes that can only be done by those who studied Flashing as a course at Harvard University.

I checked my phone, and behold it was uncle fisherman’s flash.

I did not want to speak with him on phone for fear of being eavesdropped by ugly uncle.

As I was contemplating, a message entered my phone.

When I opened, it was from uncle fisherman.

I quickly closed my doors and windows, locked everywhere before opening the message. The message read:

“Gud evening bro. Is my door still open? If so, abeg carry key from my table and lock it for me. Find out if the man is still angry, so I can come home and apologize to him. Pls reply.”

I read the message up to three times, yet I did not understand.

I gave it to my wife so she can read and explain it to me.

My wife read and asked me what was difficult to understand in the message.

I knew my wife did not understand the message too, because if she did, she could not have supported my entering that room.

The room that has been on surveillance for days now.

This woman wanted to push me into trouble with ugly uncle. Ugly uncle is not someone you would wish your enemy to get into trouble with.

I reminded my wife the experience we had in the compound last week.

How ugly uncle’s slippers could not be found in the morning.

Ugly uncle had summoned everyone in the compound and gave us few minutes to produce the slippers.

It was later that we found out it was our neighbor’s dog that carried the slippers.

“Now, if I enter that room and lock that door, don’t you think he will summon everyone again?” I asked my wife.

“You are right. I don’t want trouble ooo,” my wife whispered.

As to finding out if the man was still angry, how was I to know?

This is the man that we have never seen brightness on his face.

His face keeps reminding me of the animal I fear most in my life – the cow.

I am not afraid of dogs, no matter how huge the dog is.

If a dog is not happy with you, you will know by his barking.

But you see cows? You can never tell from the face if the animal is happy or not.

So I avoid them as plagues.

That is how ugly uncle’s face has always been.

As I finished that small amebo with my wife, I replied uncle’s message.

“Your door still dey open and I no fit enter your room. This your neighbor don dey do surveillance for your room. I no wan enter una wahala. The compound still dey on fire and my son nah just 4 years.”

As I sent him the message, he replied almost immediately.

“But na you be the care taker. Abeg use your office make peace make I fit come go work. My fish don dey die for water.”

I replied.

“Care taker kee you dia. You and who be care taker? Na you gimme the office? Abeg farm for your farm.”

He did not send any message again.

My last reply did not go down well with my wife.

“Why did you have to say that? Are you not the care taker? That was harsh.” My wife cautioned.

“Are you not the wife of the care taker? The wife of the care taker is the care taker. Go and do what he said.” I fired back.

“Oga no vex ooo.”

“You too, no vex ooo.”

As we were busy trying to set things right, we heard a knock on our door.

I told my wife not to answer.

The knock came the second time, still we did not answer.

The knock came the third time followed by a deep voice.

“Oga care taker,” said the voice.

I knew it was the ugly uncle’s voice.

“What is he doing on my door?” asked my wife.

I pretended to be asleep.

The knock came harder and the voice became thicker.

I began to wonder if the man was reading and listening to all our conversations.

I stood up and looked at my wife.

She gave me a nod, and I proceeded to the door.

Just before I opened the door, I said a little prayer.

“Father forgive my sins. Lead me not into temptation. Deliver me from evil.”

“Oga care taker I know you can hear me. Open up please.”

I opened and behold, it was the ugly uncle.

© Ezekiel Umoren

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