The Local Champion

Local champion 1

Oghenekevwe, called Kevwe in a short form was born in one of the villages in Urhobo kingdom. He was the first child of his parents and had three siblings; a boy and two girls. From the day Kevwe learned how to walk, stupidity, foolishness and truancy started manifesting in his life.

Nobody knew whether he actually graduated from nursery school but he spent eleven years in primary school. He kept repeating classes until all his siblings met and passed him in primary school. He was a total waste when academic is concerned and it never bothered him.

All efforts made by his parents, neighbors and teachers to see that he improved academically went to waste. He continued his foolery until he was permanently stuck in primary four. Even at that, he only managed to get to that class through operation ‘let my people go’.

But apart from being a dullard academically and being completely useless to humanity, Kevwe had special qualifications in mischievousness. He had a naturally acquired masters degree in enacting mischief and a PhD in criminality. The whole village was in constant receipt of his hooliganism.

After spending extra two years in primary four, Kevwe decided he wasn’t going to school anymore. He dropped out of school and focused squarely on his mischievousness and hooliganism. All efforts made by his parents to make him useful were wasted. Kevwe became a foolish terror to his family and the community.

With great efforts, his parents managed to force him into learning carpentry. Two months into the apprenticeship, Kevwe fought his master and broke his head with a plank in the process. That marked the end of his apprenticeship and be was sent back to his parents.

Some months later, Kevwe’s father convinced his friend who was a patent drug seller in a nearby village to take Kevwe in as an apprentice. Before he was sent off to his new boss’s place, Kevwe was sat down and admonished. After the admonition, he promised to turn a new leaf and become a better person. But what causes the foul smell of the he goat is in its body.

A few months after settling into his new environment, Kevwe resumed his criminality. He started stealing from his master. His master was not exactly sure who was stealing from him and he was still trying to be certain before confronting whoever it was when the worse happened.

Kevwe got his Master’s daughter pregnant. He had been using the money he stole from his master to entice his Master’s teenage daughter and the girl fell for it. When it was discovered that the girl was pregnant and she named Kevwe as the person responsible for the pregnancy, Kevwe wasn’t bothered, neither did he try denying. He didn’t show any sign of remorse as well.

Instead, he boldly told his master that getting a woman pregnant is not an easy task and could only be done by real men. He also advised his master to establish him (Kevwe) so he’d be able to marry and take care of his daughter. This he said with every boldness and proudly. His master was dumbfounded realising how foolish the person he accepted under his wings was.

He hastily sent Kevwe out of his house and threatened to deal with him if he ever came near his household again. Kevwe went back to the village and resumed his terror. He had no farmland neither did he rear any animal. But on every day their neighboring villages had their market days, Kevwe sold either livestock or farm produce. Nobody knew how he got them or how and when he transported them out of the village. But there were reports of missing livestock and stolen farm produce.

With his return to the village, he became a menace to young girls, especially the teenage ones. He was always disturbing them whenever he came across them. Sometimes, he forcefully groped them. Severally, he’d been caught peeping at women taking their baths. He had also been punished severally by the local vigilante, but that never stopped him from doing what he did.

Reports of Kevwe’s sexual harassment and other nefarious activities were constantly brought to his parents. But they couldn’t do anything to stop him. They had got tired of trying. He went on perpetuating one after another.

One day, Kevwe had gone out in search of the livestock he’d sell on the next market day. He usually did that in the mid morning when people had left their homes to their place of work and school. He had gone very far from their house searching for what to steal when he heard the sound of goats bleating from a compound.

He carefully assessed the compound to ascertain whether it was safe for him to operate in. When he was sure that the coast was clear, he scaled the fence and jumped in. But as the Igbos say, “didia gworu ozo mana ozo gburu dibia. (the native doctor fortified himself against a charm but another charm killed him)”. Also, “ka I ma nke a, I ma nke ozo? (since you know about this one, do you know about the other?)”.

Immediately Kevwe jumped into the compound, the protective charm kept by the owners of the the compound caught him. Instead of proceeding with the robbery he came for, he picked a broom and started sweeping the compound repeatedly. He continued sweeping until the owners of the compound came home. Yet he didn’t stop sweeping.

What happened next?
Find out in the next episode!


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