πππππ ππππ(2)
Bosede Fagbemi
“Hen?” You want to k@ll yourself ,” Lola’s mother said in a pained tone. She lifted her right hand and touched her daughter. Lola gazed directly at her face; a face that bore tell-tale signs of countless years of struggles. She was 45, but looked ten years older. Lola was her only child. Lola’s mother had suffered a lot while wading through the thick and thin of life to single handedly train her daughter. Being a single mother, she had no helper but God.
” You want to k@ll yourself?” She repeated. ” For what?”
” You know the answer to that question mum.” Lola was now at the door. Holding the door knob, she asked. ” Isn’t it glaring? Why will I continue to waste away at home? Some of my mates are about graduating from the University. If I cannot be given the chance to be what I want to be, it’s better I end my miserable life.”
” Point of correction.” Her mother pointed out. ” Your life is not miserable. You are the one tormenting yourself. It might be true that some of your mates are already in the University but then, some are dead as well. You made your WAEC at first sitting, while a lot are still struggling to conquer that. Have you ever settled down to know if what you want is same as what God wants for you. Has God ever told you that you are only destined to be a medical doctor and that there’s nothing else for you in life? I see many options opened before you Lola. The problem with you is that your mind is only fixed on what you think will make you happy.”
” There we go again,” Omolola scoffed. ” God! God! God. Mother, there’s a common adage that the voice of man is the voice of God. The Bible says that, as a man thinketh in his heart, so shall it be. I want to be a doctor, and God will ascent to that.”
” You aren’t totally right,” her mom argued. The book of Isaiah 55:8 says: For Gods thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are his ways your ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are his ways higher than your ways, and his thoughts than your thoughts. You can’t equate the voice of God with man’s. It is only a person of the spirit that is allowed to know the thoughts and ways of God. Again, I ask you, has God told you that you are meant to be a doctor? Who says you can’t do well in other fields apart from medicine. See!”
She forced Lola to sit beside her. ” Daughter! you threatened that you will kill yourself. No ephemeral thing is worth dying for. If you k@ll yourself because you did not get admission, life will continue. The sun will not stop shining. The rain will not stop falling in due season. It is you that will be the loser. You will lose here and still face God’s judgement in the great beyond.”
LoIa’s mother adjusted the way she sat. “I remember an incident that happened when I was a teenager. How a boy drowned himself in the river because he failed English in WAEC for four consecutive times. He ended his life, but life never ended. You are my only daughter, fine. If you harm yourself? It will pain me but, I won’t end my life because you ended yours. Life is precious, especially in the sight of God. I want to fulfil the number of my days.”
” Mum!” Lola shrieked. “You talk as if I’m not valuable to you. You are not even feeling my pain. There’s no how my life will have meaning if I don’t read medicine.”
Lola’s mother smiled. ” When you anchor your hope and happiness on a singular factor, you stand to get dissapointed all the time. We’ve been on this matter for years. Why are you so adamant? Do you know something that I don’t know? You’ve never given me an unbendable reason why you can’t do any other course apart from medicine.”
Omolola shrugged. ” When we were in secondary school, everyone said they would read medicine, that was when I developed interest
in the course. How will it now sound when everyone is becoming a doctor and I am left behind? I also love the way doctors do look smart especially the females. People accord them respect in no small measure. Oh! I always dream of wearing the lab coat with a stethoscope around my neck.” She looked up dreamily. ” I will make you proud.”
“Amen. Omolola,” her mother drawled in a funny way. ” It seems you’ve wasted five years of your life chasing after nothing. You have dreams but you lack purpose. Purpose is what will push your dream. Do you know that it’s possible for you to study this your coveted course and still be miserable for life. When you get to the tertiary institution, you will meet different categories of students studying different courses. Some are studying particular courses because their friends are studying same. Some are studying some courses because it is the choice of their parents for them. To some, they enrol for a course because they have no choice. The way our educational system has turned to, people see the University education as a do or die. Parents will do anything to buy places for their children in school. While education is the means to an end, it is not the end itself. You can still make it good in life without having a tertiary education. You must know that it is not your degree that will define you, rather, it is what you carry. There’s a prayer I always pray that God should make you discover purpose. And after discovering purpose, he should give you the grace to build your life on him and not on any ephemeral thing. Had it been I discovered purpose before entering the University, I won’t be here today, struggling to make ends meet as a single mother. Like you, all that I wanted in those days was to gain admission. My own reason for wanting to get into school sharp, sharp, was because I wanted to break out of the fence that my parents built around me. My Dad was too strict and I was raised on restrictions. I got what I wanted at age 16. I was proud that I was the youngest undergraduate in my church by then. People envied my mum. I passed through school living the way I wanted. I wasn’t so much interested in my studies as much as catching fun with my fellow male colleagues. I lacked purpose and lost the little focus I had. Immediately I graduated, I married my school heartrobe. Life became a night mare. The degree that I acquired couldn’t salvage my marriage.
Don’t make my kind of mistake. Discover purpose before entering school. Don’t be carried away by your desires. Peradventure God grants your heart intent, what happens after you become a doctor? Daughter! There’s more to life.”
” Purpose or no purpose mum, please see Flora’s mum and let’s know what they did that made the University give her admission. I don’t want to miss this year again.”
Her mother sighed. ” It’s okay. I will see her. But please sit back and think over all that I said earlier. It is well.”
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TO BE CONTINUED
The part about a guy killing himself because he failed English is real. It happened when I was a teenager.
People can become really desperate when it gets to passing exams and getting admission (Some parents are not left out).
Parents! Please be on your watch. You should be able to know when desperation is setting in. You can help by not pressurizing or pushing your children.
Help them to know their strength and weaknesses right from their senior school days. It helps a lot to make their choice about choices of course In the University.
Let’s remove the mentality that one has to study science at all cost. No discipline is a right off when the person involved is purposeful and intentional about life.
There’s more to come.
Let’s wait to hear what Flora’s mum will tell Lola’s mum.
For our admission seekers, I pray God will make a way for you.
Relax! Take things easy. It is well.
