CHRISTMAS DATING
Episode 11
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Life is like the bright ray of the sun. It hides under the clouds when the rain comes. It is like the round grey moon. It comes when you least expect it and goes when you’re about to enjoy its fullest.
I knew that Jojo had all of me in him. I knew that we were two persons moving together as one body. We lived on one heart — his heart. We shared everything. But I didn’t know that he could decide to own his own body all to himself and do with it what he wished.
Our traditional wedding was in one week. Preparations were in top speed. Everything was going on as planned. I thought it was going to be the happiest day of my life. I thought I was going to smile throughout the day, wearing my traditional attire as I dance to my husband with a cup of wine in my hand. But life happens sometimes. And it happened to me, too. To my Jojo.
I went to his place to deliver his clothes for the event. I had told his tailor to make two traditional attires and two suits for him. It was to surprise him. They were made to class, topnotch.
All the while, the breeze of life had been gentle and calm. Through our romantic moments, through our vacation, until we began to plan our wedding. . .gentle breeze, like it was when I had traveled to Abuja for the training.
But it became a strong wind, stronger than the wind that brought Linda into our lives. This one was mighty and wavy. It was going to be the end of many sweet things.
When I got into the sitting room and didn’t find him there I knew that the next place he would be was at his study, reading books on philosophy and stories of great men and heroes. So I didn’t bother calling at him. I tiptoed to surprise him.
When I got into his bedroom the lights were off. I heard sniffles and chuckling sounds. I wondered what was happening. I reached out to the bulbs switch on the wall and turned it on.
Jojo was sitting on his bed, his arms wrapped around his folded knees. His face was swollen, I was sure. It told many stories that I didn’t want to believe. A million thoughts flashed through my mind in seconds. Very, very weird thoughts.
I ran to him and wrapped my arms around him, patting his back, rubbing his shoulder. He was chuckling like an infant. You know when an infant has cried for so long a time that they begin to gasp for breath? That was how. I never saw any adult who cried that much.
“Jojo, stop! Please?” I begged him as he didn’t seem consoled.
I couldn’t control my tears. I was shivering. My brain was going cold and blank. I felt my fingers becoming stiff and my soles becoming cold. My mouth was shaking. It was like a swarm of chilled water descended on me.
“Jojo, please stop! I’m begging you. Please!” I cried as I kept patting his back and rubbing his shoulders.
He was far away in his sorrow. Nothing I said would stop him. I broke out in tears. I let go of him and sank into the empty space in his bed. My heart was now very heavy. He wouldn’t stop.
“Jojo. . .please!” I whispered again. “Please, I’m begging you to stop.”
“Go away,” he said. “Leave me alone.” He was not saying it with all his heart. He wanted to be alone.
“I should go away?” I asked, sobbing and chuckling. “To who? Jojo you’re everything. You’re everyone. I can’t leave you alone like this. Please, I’m begging you?”
I went back to him and wrapped my arms around him. I remembered the poem he sang me one night at the hospital when I fell sick and I tried to whisper it into his ears.
“The world is small and narrow
but a space in your heart is all I want
to lay my head, to rest from sorrow
wherever you tell me I’ll pitch my tent.
It’s just you and me, all alone in this big world
where I’d love you without fear
where I’ll kiss you behind the world
where you’re my everything and more.
Even in your deepest sorrow
I’ll stand here and wait
right before the deepest ocean
I’ll swim with you across.
If you jump, I jump
if you stay, I stay
I’m not leaving you alone in your big world
cos’ this world is small and narrow, but a space in your heart is all I want.”
Jojo ran into my arms, his face closed in my embrace. I gave him a pat on the back. I kissed his hair.
“It’s okay, baby. Whatever it is we can talk about it.”
I made him lay his head on my laps. I was cuddling his hair and rubbing his chest. He slept off and I let him be. My tears wouldn’t stop flowing. I tried not to cry out loud. I prayed God to keep him alive. I prayed God to take his pains away. He hadn’t said a thing to me. But whatever it was, I wanted him to be well for me.
He walked lazily to the sitting room. He didn’t walk like one who would live to see the next day. I quickly ran to help him rest. He had eaten nothing all day, I reckoned. I had made some food while he was asleep. He broke the calabash after eating, and my world began to crumble.
“Jojo, I don’t understand.” I cried.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t choose this life for myself. I tried to win. But this one is stronger than me,” he cried.
“Jojo. . .what did I do?” I was still sobbing bitterly.
Jojo said nothing. His face was thrown to his left. Tears in his eyes.
“Joseph Adewale. You’re telling me that you have cancer? That you won’t stay with me forever?” my voice was cracking.
“I’m sorry.” he pleaded.
The swarm of coldness had once again descended on us. My whole life flashed before my eyes. All my dreams to own the sweetest love life came crumbling at my feet.
I walked up to Jojo. I held him tightly. I kissed him. I hugged him. He needed my love, care and attention now more than ever. I didn’t let go. I felt like I would lose him the next minute. It didn’t matter anymore that he chose to tell me now, a week to our traditional wedding. It didn’t even matter how much longer he had to live. I wanted him to be safe.
“Let the sun stop shining. Let the stars fall from heaven. I won’t leave you. I’m staying with you until your final minute,” there was tears in my eyes.
“I’m loving you till forever.”
When he fell asleep again, I went into the bathroom and cried until I couldn’t hear my own voice again. I kept begging God to help me. I kept praying God to save him. I knew my world would end the moment he closed his eyes in perpetual sleep.
My Sweet Jojo was dying. My lips could not say any more words. My heart was heavy. My fears were right before my eyes. This wind was mighty.
Typing episode 12. . .
— Michael Ituma
