Asoebi Girls


Episode 1.
1st April, 2019.

“Taadaah” Joy screams as she flaunts her fingers in the air displaying a silver ring on her finger.
“Awwwn. The ring is so beautiful”. Chioma says holding her hands to her face to show her admiration as her eyes squels as though she was about tearing up.

“Finally.” That was all Bella said as all darts towards her direction.
“What do you mean by finally?” Nancy asks.

“Nothing o. So, Joy you really mean you’ll marry Ben instead of Charles?” Bella continued.

“We’re not going over this again. I told you that I can’t marry a pastor”. Joy replies touching the silver ring in admiration.

The bartender came to their table to receive their orders.
Everyone ordered for a plate of fried rice but Joy went for a plate of Jollof rice.

“Who doesn’t want to marry a pastor now? Me I would prefer a pastor o, so that people can call me mummy GO”. Bella said again.
“No bi onle mummy GO.” Nancy replied amidst laughter.

“What next after engagement.” Bella asked.

“Bella, be calm na. What’sup. Are you not happy for our friend?”. Nancy asked as Joy added. . .”I wonder o”.

“I’m just asking na. Ok I just want to save my spot as the chief bridesmaid”

“Says who?” Countered Nancy. “Not when I’m here”.
“What about me?” Chioma whined.
Her little stature didn’t help matters coupled with her baby face and baby voice. You could mistake her for a teenager.

“Which you? You’ll be among the flower girls”. Nancy said amidst laughter.

“Flower girl nibo? Abi little bride. .”

“I don’t like what you people are doing o.” Chioma said with a frown on her face despite knowing they were trying to pull her legs. They always do.
She looks like their junior sister whenever they hangout together like in this occasion.

“Joy, choose na. Who will be your maid of honour? Me??”
“Or me” Bella added.

Joy could no longer hold back the laughter as she broke out in laughter to their amazement.
The look of bewilderment was evident on their faces.

“April fool.” Joy said taking off the ring from her fingers.

Bella felt like dashing towards her, strangling her neck for playing with their emotion. To think that they nearly quarreled arguing about who will be her maid of honour.

“So all my awwwn is in vain”. Chioma asked not knowing how else to react.


Episode 2.

3rd April, 2019.

“Hi, angel. Do you care for a lift?”. A man in a grey XML jeep asks Joy who has been standing for close to 15minutes waiting for a bus.
She noticed the man had parked few metres away from her initially before he drove to where she stood and winds down his car glass.

She acted as though she didn’t hear what he was saying but he repeated himself.”I’m talking to you beauty. This sun is doing no justice to your beautiful skin. I can drop you off, I don’t mind”.
“Thank you, sir but no thanks”. Joy replies coldly still scanning with her eyes for any incoming vehicle.

“I don’t bite, baby”.

“Oga, you don’t understand simple English? I’m not a baby but a full grown woman please kindly leave”. Joy replies but soon realises that he wasn’t driving away, she moves abit and fortunately, a bus pulls over.

“Sisi, you get change?” The conductor asked.
“Yes. 500 hundred naira”
“Oya siddon for front seat”.

She sat down as another passenger comes to join her there in the front.

“Your money for front there”. The conductor says stretching out his hands for money.

Joy dips her hands into her pulse and stretches a five hundred naira note to the conductor.
The man beside her also gave him five hundred naira.
He stretches a #200 to Joy.

“My balance is #100 na.” Joy said.

“Make una two share am. I no get change. Look my hand na only 500, 200 and 1000 dey here.”

This is a situation Joy always tries to avoid. She searched her pulse to see if she’ll find a hundred naira note but unfortunately she didn’t.

” Banana gate, Bรฒta jare.”

Joy and this man came down. It was their last bustop.
“Do you have hundred naira, sir?” Joy asks but he replied negatively.

Joy was just hoping that this man will leave the change with her like most gentle men do but alas, this was no gentle man.
This was a comrade.

“So, you mean that man collected that money?” Chioma asked as Joy shared her encounter on their WhatsApp group chat.

“Ehen nau. Can you imagine he was even saying that am I not more than #100 that I should leave the change for him. I could have left it but no, I gave him back his response. I told him he’s more than #100 too. Brother ended up buying bottled water he didn’t feel like buying”. Joy said adding a laughing emoji to the message.
“Do you know the funniest part?” She continued. “He even asked for my number after all he did. Just imagine”

“Truly nearly all men in Lagos are mad”. Bella added with a funny GIF.

To be continued. . .
ยฉ Rejoice Kelechi

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