ABUSED..
Episode 9
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I rushed to my room as soon as I got home, locking the doors behind me. I brought out my phone to confirm it was Ade I called earlier – it was. I screamed and fell on the ground😭😭😭.
The temperature in the room was high, I felt feverish from wailing, I cried like a woman who lost her husband. How cruel can life get? How harsh fate has been to me. First, I was conceived out of hatred, live worthlessly, verbally abused, denial furthering my studies and now betrayed by the one person I thought loved me the most. what else am I leaving for?
I feel worthless than I ever felt, mother was right no one will ever love me😭, I am cursed, an agent of doom. Ade confirmed it, I am a low life. Every word mother said to were playing in my head
“Ruth you are worthless, useless, a cursed child, an agent of doom, an evil seed. No one will ever love you.”
My past flashed through; I saw grandma, my cousins making jest of me, mother yelling at me and the neighbors making mockery of me. I feel like one beaten mercilessly by rain, I am drenched in tears. Ade has made a sport of me, I was a game he said. The tears kept falling freely without resistance. I kept howling at the misery that my God meted on me. I cried myself to sleep.
I shrieked up at the snoozing of the alarm clock, I adjusted with heaviness on the floor where I cried myself to sleep. I looked around the pale – blue colored room, it feels like a dungeon. I felt cold lying on the floor, standing up to face the standing mirror, I saw a gloomy reflection with dried tears on her face. Feeling of regrets rushed in paving way for fresh tears to fall down my chest. I was used and dumped like a rag; my mouth was shaking and felt weak on my legs, I managed to reach for the bed and sat on it.
The weather is cold, it’s threatening to rain; I could hear bolts of thunder through the sky making loud noises in the air, immediately it began to rain, my tears were in synch with the rain – I literally felt beaten by it.
” Ade why? you should have left me the way I was initially with loneliness and abuse. I thought you were the balm sent to heal my wounded heart. I never knew you were a needle piercing through my wounds. Ha! Is this what love is all about – then it’s synonymous with abused probably worse than it. ” I yelled as the rain kept falling heavily .
I laid on my bed, the memories of that night kept crawling back to my head as I tried to push it back
‘ Ruth you are a fool! You thought you could find love in a Man when your birth mother detests you, you stole her joy and ruined her life, you are bound to be ruined” I wept till my eyes were swollen and tired of crying😵.
All alone in my room, I felt cold but I was unwilling to cover myself up. I’m rejected by both man and my creator so nature should consumed me in this cold hands of her.
It’s 6pm yet I don’t feel like moving an inch out of my room, a part of me wished Ade would call and tell me it’s a prank but he never did all through today. My stomach growled, I lack the zeal to shove anything down my throat.
I went to kitchen and made a hot cup of tea, I drank the hot like it’s cold, the burning on my tongue can’t be compared to that of my heart. I downed everything, walked to my room for a bath.
I stink, haven’t had my bathe since yesterday as I hardly coolvalstories miss bathing at night, that made me feel so dirty. I undressed, grabbed my towel and head for a place I plan to find succour – the bath tub. I made sure to fill the bath with warm water to soothe my skin, and make me feel a bit relieved of my burden.
I stayed in the bath for almost an hour, I cried, cursed and thought about what I have been through; I wished I wasn’t conceived. After what seems like ages I was done bathing, I stood up removing the stopper to drain out the water, facing the mirror in the bathroom I exhaled deeply, my eyes hurt but I feel a bit strengthened
” No one loves you. You are all alone in this world” I bloated out to the image of me. I think I heard something, someone is opening the door. I hissed, Reuben. I don’t want to be around anyone I just want to be alone. Tying the towel, I made for the bathroom door, unlocked it and surprisingly seeing Reuben entering my room
” Ruth. I have been calling but no answer, I thought to come check on you”
” Reuben, what are you doing in my room? please leave, I want to be left alone” I said in a cracked voice, I coughed to clear my throat it’s sour
” Well, I want to be with you” he stated not wanting to leave whilst scrutinizing me head to toe. I don’t like the look on his eyes nor how he licked his lips
” Look Reuben I want to be by myself, I am unwell…”
” What’s wrong with you” he said in a concerned tone
” It’s just a minor fever, I have had medication” I lied
” I can’t leave you just like that” he said walking towards me, I shifted backwards not wanting him to touch me
‘ Reuben! stop! You are in my room and I am not decent just leave” I shouted
He stopped half towards me, smiled, he was undressing me with his eyes I could see it from the look in his eyes. I wasn’t comfortable anymore
” Common, you act like a child Ruth”
” Please leave, ”
” I can’t leave you dear you look pale”
I know I look pale, fatigued and as though I would break the next minute, Ade’s betrayal destabilized me emotional, physically and psychologically but with Reuben around me, I feel worse.
He came close to me, held my hands and lead me to my bed,
” Have you eaten?”
“Yes, I just want to rest and be alone”
” You can rest in my arms baby”
” Reuben”.
” Shshsh” he signal with his hands trying to stop me from speaking further. Wrapping his hands around me, I was shaking
” Ruth relax! I don’t bite” he whispered in my ear. I tried to release myself from his hold but I couldn’t it was strong. What?
” Reuben, get your hands off me” I struggled but he wasn’t having it.
” I have longed to be this close to you Ruth. this opportunity I won’t’ let it to pass by , so just savour the moment. ”
I knew I was in for a fight, I am ready to fight till I die; Ade used me, there won’t be a repeat I swore. It’s either he goes down or I go down.
TO BE CONTINUED..
