*Little Blackđ Book*
â *Episode Seven* : Le Boss, Le Lover
I should have walked away the moment I entered that suite and looked into his hankering eyes. He was going to consume me, all of me, and I would be broken in the end. I knew that, but I was too far gone to care. My body was dying for him in ways no woman should desire a man. When he stretched out his hand and touched my face, it felt unreal. I lost my breath out of sheer excitement. It was finally happening!
âIâm going to hurt you, Anna,â he said, begging me with his eyes to let go. But I wasnât listening. âAre you sure you really want this?â
I could only nod. My voice would have failed me at that moment.
I shut my eyes and waited for his kiss but it didnât come. Instead, he ran his thumb over my lower lip as the rest of his fingers stroked my neck.
The kiss came much later, after his hands explored places on my body I never knew needed exploring. He took my lips like he owned them, like he had been kissing me all his life. My mouth seemed made for his and my body⌠well, letâs say it wasnât a waste of time knowing all those women before me. I was pleasuring in his vast experience.
He touched me everywhere, with my clothes still on my body, right in the middle of that room. When he began to undress me, I was already weak in the knees. He laughed at me when he saw the look of pure helplessness in my eyes. He lifted me off the floor quite easily and took me into the bedroom. The air was cold in there and I was shivering when he put me on the bed and began to take off his clothes. He didnât let me touch him. I once heard that he never liked his women in control in bed. I was about to find out it was true.
âIt wonât be a bad thing if you looked at me, you know,â he said. I had actually diverted my eyes the moment I saw his jeans going down. Inside me, there was still that person that wasnât ready for this encounter. The good girl, I guess. But I so desperately wanted to be the bad girl that evening, so I looked at him and lost my breath again.
I was actually looking at my boss nude! Is there a song in this world that can perfectly describe how I felt because I canât really put it in words?
He came back to me and slowly, took off my underwear. His eyes washed over my body first before his hands continued where they left off. His tongue was not left out of the party as he feasted on me, inch by inch, and drove me wild with wanting. When the magic eventually happened, I was at his mercy. I had never screamed so much in my life nor had that much pleasure that I started begging him to stop when I couldnât contain it any longer. And because he was a gentleman, he stopped, pulled away from me and rested on an elbow, watching me with amused eyes. I was falling from the sky at that point and writhing beside him like I was being shot with a Taser.
Finally my breathing came to a steady rhythm and I lay there beside him like one dead, not sure if my body was mine at all. He took me in his arms and wrapped a blanket around us.
I yawned. I was rested and sleepy. He felt good to hold. I remained in his arms until I fell asleep.
The morning came with breakfast in bed â a bowl of fruits and a glass of wine. It was his thing and I was glad to share it with him. Unfortunately, he wasnât there. I panicked instantly when I discovered this.
Was this it? Was he done with me? Was I to forget what happened the night before and move on with my life?
I pushed the breakfast tray aside and stepped down from the bed. I searched round the entire suite, hoping my fears were unfounded but I was proven right. What did I expect, anyway? He expressly told me he was going to hurt me. I guess I was to snap out of Lala Land and face my life. I had finally made it into his little black book. Congratulations, Anna.
I took a shower and ignored the parts of my body that were still throbbing for him. I wore my clothes, picked my phone which I had checked a million times for a text from him, and made my exit. Reality was beginning to dawn on me, even though I couldnât quite shake out the pleasure he had given me. I wanted more of him, desperately desired to have him hold and kiss me again the way he did the night before. Yet I was afraid to call and ask. I had seen him turn his conquests down with a cold ânoâ and a stony face. Now, I was to join that statistic? Just like that?
Tears burned my eyes as I sat at the back of a cab on my way home. I was biting my nails to keep my disappointment in but I couldnât quite help myself. The more I thought about him, about how sad I was feeling, the more my body yearned for him. Right there in the cab, I was having a âhappyâ moment as my lady business began to act out all on its own, something that had never happened in my life before. It was embarrassing! The man had unlocked parts of me that had lain dormant for years. I hated him for it. Still I wanted him â just one more time.
I got home and forced myself to sleep with the help of a pill. I couldnât stand being awake just to spend my time thinking about him. I knew I needed to get out of my illusion fast; what better way than to sleep it off?
I woke up as the sun was setting, made late lunch and while I ate, I watched some dull action flick. My phone was on my lap the whole time as I waited for him to call or text. But I got nothing. My rational mind was getting louder by now, and it was telling me to get over what happened.
Itâs what adults do, Anna. That is why itâs called a one-night stand. You knew it was all he wanted from you. Get over it!
I would nod every time I heard that and with each nod I thought I was getting stronger.
What a little idiot I was!
All it took was him standing at my door to break my resolve. A look from those unassuming eyes took me back to the day before.
âYou forgot something,â he said to me, holding out my thong with a finger. I smiled shyly. I had actually looked for it back at the hotel when I was leaving but gave up when I couldnât find it. I had a feeling he had been with it all day.
âCan I come in?â
I nodded and let him inâ into my house, back into my head and into my body. This time, he wasnât gentle. He displayed a virile need for me and I was shocked that my body could respond to such intensity without giving out. However, the more he had me, the more the pain in my heart deepened. I didnât want to just own his body for a while. I wanted it for a long time; and his heart as well. My fantasies of him in the past were always of us being together exclusively. I didnât want to be just another name ticked off his list. I wanted to be his.
âStop, pleaseâŚâ I cried. I was exhausted. Drained out. If I had any more orgasms left in me, I was going to reserve them for the future. The man wasnât going to kill me with pleasure. âI think Iâm going to faint.â
He let out a laugh and lifted me off my feet and carried me to my bed where he dumped me. He walked into the kitchen for a glass of water. I marveled at the way he made himself comfortable in my home. He was such a man of means and importance that seeing him there in my little space, all at ease, gave me hope.
Maybe. Just maybeâŚ
He handed me a glass of freezing water and sat to watch me drink. After I was done, I asked him a question burning on my mind.
âWhat are you getting out of this?â
âOut of what?â
âUs. The s*xâŚitâs not like you c-m or anythingâŚâ
He lay on his back. âItâs a curse, Anna. It can only be broken by true loveâs v—-a.â
I could have laughed right there if the joke didnât hurt me. What did he mean by true loveâs v—-a? What was mine to him? A hit and run v—-a? A booty call v—-a?
âI donât understand.â I sat up so I could see his face. I was shocked to see some form of pain etched on it.
âLike everyone, Iâm looking for love, Anna. I told you once, Iâm empty inside. Thereâs nothing I can give a woman except this. Itâs all meaningless.â
His words hurt me but I was sensitive enough to see his own turmoil.
âI live for the excitement but the high dies out too quickly. I want something lasting.â
Then, pick me! I cried in my head.
âYou once said you had found the one,â I muttered with a fluttering tummy. âWho is she?â
He smiled. A smile that died out too hastily. âI donât think sheâll give a d–n about me when she finds out who I really am. Iâm afraid to love her, Anna, and have my heart be broken.â
Wow! Who would have thought he had this side to him?
âWell, you have to try. If youâre truly looking for happiness and something lasting as you said, you just have to try.â
I stopped there. That was my one magnanimous act for the decade. I wasnât going to say more, not when I was dying for him.
I got off the bed and went into the bathroom for a shower. There, I cried. For the man I was going to lose and the love I wasnât ever going to have. When I returned, I cuddled up to him and had him tell me stories about his trips around the world. I discovered that beneath his suave and charm was a simple uncomplicated guy who was just like any other. It endeared me to him the more but I knew it was time to draw the line.
He slept while I stayed awake until late, watching another boring action flick. When daylight came, I asked him for one last moment. He told me he didnât want to leave my life just yet. I told him it was best that he did.
âThereâs no use prolonging the inevitable,â I said, courageously. âAnd stop trying to make me feel like Iâm different from the rest.â
I was sitting astride him and his hands were cupping my b*****s when I said those words. It wasnât a sexual moment. It was emotional; for me, at least. It came with tears that I tried to fight but couldnât.
âOh, Anna.â
He caught the tears as they fell.
âSo, one for the road,â I requested. âSomething to remember you by.â
âIâm not going away from your life, Anna.â
But I am, I replied him in my head.
âJust make love to me and act like Iâm the one. Pretend I am she. Love me like youâll love her.â
Most men would have chickened out of such a challenge but not this man. He gave me what I asked for, made love to me like I was Eve and he was Adam and we didnât have any other options out there. He fulfilled my deepest fantasies, and when I told him to say he loved me, he said it without holding back. At first, I thought he was only acceding to my wishes but I realized that he was only playing out his make-believe as well.
By noon, he was gone. I was sleeping then. I woke up late afternoon and was in the company of an empty apartment, the intoxicating scent of his cologne and the memory of him between my legs. I didnât cry. I couldnât. I just wanted to move on, even though I didnât want to forget.
I sat in bed for a long time, recalling every kiss, every touch, every sigh, every movementâŚ
Darkness came and found me cuddling my pillow. Hours went by, days passed, weeks dragged on⌠I was finally letting go. I didnât pick his calls. The only time I did, I told him to forget me. I got a temporary job out of town and plunged myself into it without mercy. Christmas came early, everyone I knew was traveling. He was traveling too, as the secretary had told me. I didnât ask where. I didnât want to care.
I spent Christmas alone. I thought it was a good idea but it turned out to be a big mistake. Somehow in the silence of my little space and the echoing loneliness of my heart, my obsession returned full force. I fought but couldnât banish it. I started to crave for him even more than I used to. It was torture each passing minute and it could only be cured by him. Hence I decided to go back to him. I didnât care if I occupied the smallest place in his existence; seeing him, even if just for a minute every day, was enough.
And thus, one uneventful day in January I walked into his office and asked for my old job back. I put up a compelling argument, told him he needed me as it was obvious he hadnât been able to replace me. I managed a straight face as I lied that I was over him, stressing that what I felt for him was long dead.
âStrictly business, sir,â I stated. âOr canât you handle that?â
He pushed his chair backwards and regarded me in the eyes. If he could tell that I was lying, he didnât show it.
âSo Iâm supposed to forget all that happened between us?â he asked.
âYes, you should. I have.â
âD–n, youâre cold.â
I said nothing. He smiled. âWell, Iâd be happy to have you back but things would be awkward.â
âWeâre adults, sir. Two nights of meaningless s*x shouldnât define our working relationship.â
âWhy do you need this job so badly, Anna?â
âAre you going to give it to me or not?â
âFeisty!â He laughed. âOh wellâŚlike I said, Iâd like you back.â He pinched his nose in habit. âCome in tomorrow and do the necessary paperwork. Welcome back.â
âThank you, sir.â I turned to the door.
âYou donât fool me, Anna,â he muttered. âBut Iâm not going to stop you or even judge you. Iâve been in your shoes, known of the obsessive need to feed a fixation⌠But youâll get over it one day. All on your own.â
I dashed out of the office as fast as I could. He had no right to get into my head that way.
In the days that followed, I took my work seriously. More seriously than I did before. I was back in my Ugly Betty mode. A frown constantly graced my face while I watched in interest as he smiled a lot more than he used to. It was like he went to sleep each night and woke up each morning to news that he had won a lottery. My curiosity was turned full notch and unable to keep it in, I spoke to the secretary one morning.
âYou donât know?â she asked, in response to my probing.
âKnow what?â
She peeped at Le Bossâ door which was slightly opened and pulled me away from view.
âOga has a steady now.â
âSteady what?â
âGirlfriend.â
Something heavy sank hard into my tummy.
âGirlfriend?â
âIâm so happy for him,â she grinned, speaking in her characteristically-fast manner. âThey donât want it public sha but they see each other all the time. He spends most of his nights at her place; sometimes she comes over. Heâs crazy about her, always asking me to send flowers and stuff to her office. I think he really loves her!â
I felt ill at once. I couldnât believe what I was hearing. It had to be a lie. There was no way he was in any type of committed relationship. Who the hell was this new girl?
âWho is she?â
I didnât get an answer to my question as he stepped out of his office at that moment and gave both of us serious glances.
âIsnât it too early to gossip, ladies?â
The secretary walked away and he informed me that we had to be somewhere for an impromptu meeting.
I never brought up the issue of his new girlfriend with him or the secretary. I didnât even ask her to fill me in on the parts she missed. I had deeper concerns like how I was regretting my return. I had come back, thinking things would go back to the way they used to be with us. I enjoyed being his wingman, enjoyed helping him get his conquests but loved most when he dumped them and moved on to something new. I had lived vicariously in those times. It was our thing, he and I. How could he give up all that freedom and excitement over one woman? One flimsy v—-a!
Oh, and then there was this fantasy I was nursing; that in-between his conquests, I could fill inâquickies in the office, in his car, at his suiteâas per the perfect personal assistant.
Anyways, I became determined to find out who his âgirlfriendâ was. Then I would decide on how to get her out of his life. He was not a one-woman man. He belonged to all of us.
âAnna, Iâm expecting a package from Egypt tomorrow evening. I would be out. When it comes, please take it up to my suite. I donât want it lying around here.â
âYes, sir.â
It was a Thursday and a lazy one. He was through for the day. Leaving the office, his phone rang and a warm smile creased his face as he took the call.
âI told you,â the secretary whispered with a broad smile while I frowned.
I went home angry that evening.
Friday was busy. I worked all through and only got a break during the closing hour. I was almost on my way home when I remembered the package that had come in earlier from Cairo. I went back to the office, picked it and my bossâ spare keycard to his apartment. I took the private elevator up. When I got into the penthouse suite, I found it a little messy. It was no surprise, though. The man wasnât really into cleaning up after himself and room service came only in the mornings. But curiously, I took a good look at the mess and discovered that it wasnât made by him alone. There were signs that he had entertained a female.
I dropped the package on the dining table and knew I was to leave at once but I couldnât help but snoop. Finding his bedroom door slightly ajar, I took slow steps towards it, the sound of soul music drawing me further. When I took a peep, I discovered to my annoyance that there was a lady lying on his bed, dressed in his shirt. She was asleep, face down, with her hair spread over the pillow.
I stepped in and looked at her more closely. She had flawless skin and the type of body shape he adored in his women. Her backside was t—-t up in the air. She was nude beneath. Even I as a woman thought it was a heavenly sight.
Anna, you should go now, I heard that reasonable person in me say but I ignored the warning. I moved closer to the bed to where the ladyâs handbag was lying. I needed to know more about her. I dipped my hand into the bag and towed out her wallet. I opened it, pulled out her National ID Card, Voterâs Card and work ID. I was shocked when I found out who she was. Life is full of ironies, fam.
The lady was none other than my favorite on-air personality. In fact, I worshipped at her feet. On nights when I was lonely, it was her voice I sought on radio to keep me soothed and hopeful that I would find love again. She had healing in that voice. She was an angel.
How on earth did she end up stealing my man?!
She stirred and I backed away from view, my heart beating wildly. She went back to sleep. I returned the cards back into the wallet and put the wallet where I found it.
I turned to leave but then my ears caught the sound of my boss coming in. He was calling her name. I freaked out. What was I going to tell him I was doing in his bedroom?
Shoot!
She was stirring again. She was going to wake upâŚ
I spun towards the bathroom. It was the only place to hide. I dashed in there fast, careful not to close the door for fear that it would make some noise.
My boss was already in the bedroom. I could hear him louder now and I could hear her too. That heavenly voice of hersâreal after all. Not synthesized. I held my breath, praying neither of them would come my way. I swear, I almost peed on myself.
They were still in conversation. There was laughter. Then, silence. More laughterâŚmore silenceâŚand a giggle from her.
What were they doing? They dare not! My curiosity was awakened. For a second I forgot I was hiding and dared to peep out. And like I suspected, they were getting intimate. He had her on his laps, his hands missing beneath the shirt she was wearing, but she seemed like the one in control as she went at him impatiently.
âMadam, calm down,â he laughed. âDid you miss me that much?â
She ignored him and kissed his lips even as he was still speaking.
âWith the way youâre doing, youâll soon get pregnant o.â
At that statement, my heart stopped short.
Pregnant?!! He was sleeping with her without protection?! And having orgasms with her?! Oh dear God! She really was the one! Everyone knew the man never played with his condoms. Like his shadow, they followed him everywhere. He once told me that the only time he had unprotected s*x was in his teenage years and that he was only going to go bare for the mother of his kids. Was she really The One?
My eyes flared with tears. I didnât want to accept what I had just seen and heard. It clearly spelled the end for he and I. Shaking my head in disbelief, I backed away from the door and accidentally knocked a metal waste bin that had been kept carelessly behind me. It made a loud clatter and I stopped my breath with my hands over my gasping mouth.
I stood there, frozen.
It took him less than five seconds to make it to the bathroom. He flung the door open and there I stood in humiliation.
âAnna?â
I didnât have words for him or for her as she stared at me peculiarly from where she stood behind him.
âYouâve been here the whole time?â he asked. âHowâŚ? What are you doing here?â
Like I said, I had no words. The only thing I could do was run.
And run, I did. Out of the suite and out of his life⌠for good. I told myself I was never going back.
It had to be over for us.
And the Little Black Book? Oh wellâŚletâs just say like the other women before me, I got my entry, and in the same manner as they, my chapter closed. Fairly, we all got our happy endings in his hands. And I think it is safe to say that now, he was allowed to get his.
………………………………………..