*Little Blackđ Book* â Episode Five: Anna Banana
*Abuja was a disaster* .
I wish I hadnât gone. Wish I had made a mountain out of a molehill over my ankle injury and stayed back. Then I would have spared myself the heartbreak and embarrassment that followed.
Now, the trip didnât start out badly, although my ankle was hurting and I was uncomfortable with my short skirt which was bent on exposing my nudity in front of my boss. Donât get me wrong. I have nursed fantasies of me being nude before him but not like that. Not with the chauffer sitting in front and sending me these nasty glances through the rearview mirror. You see, the problem with people like us who are down the status ladder is that we donât support each other. The chauffer carried this look on his face like I had thrown myself at the boss. But I had not. The bloody stiletto had.
Anyway, who cared what he thought? My prince charming was worried about me and made us stop by at a pharmacy to have me checked. Turned out the ankle was dislocated. The pharmacist fixed it, massaged it with some balmy ointment and thinking my boss was my boyfriend, taught him how to massage it. Then he gave me some drugs and we were on our way to the airport. When my boss suggested I stayed back, I told him I was fine. But I wasnât. By the time we arrived at Abuja, the foot was swollen and he was forced to take me to a private clinic to meet a specialist who wrapped the foot up and gave me a crutch to aid movement.
The moment we got to the hotel, we were welcomed by Zaraâs pitchy tone at the reception. As expected, she was giving the front desk people hell for not reserving her suite. My boss tended a sinister smile as he strolled towards her. I thought he was going to speak with her but he simply walked past and informed the front desk ladies that he was checking into his penthouse suite. Zara watched aghast as they handed him his key and a concierge appeared to lead us to the suite.
âYou stole my penthouse?!â she screamed. Her personal assistant rolled her eyes and shook her head. The girl looked tired already.
âI am talking to you!â Zara approached my boss and stood right before him.
âHi Chizara.â He was calm.
âDonât âhiâ me! How dare you?! Youâve not stopped your little games! When will you grow up?!â
He laughed indifferently.
âI will not take this!â She flipped long curls of her hair to the back and spun around. âWhere is the manager?!â She threw at the front desk ladies.
âLetâs go.â My boss nodded towards the elevator. He looked at Zaraâs personal assistant. âYou too, Lola.â
What the hell was he doing, inviting the enemyâs handbag to our special love nest? I glared at him and my eyes naturally turned nasty at the Lola person who was now grinning. And without even a side glance at her boss who was still raising hell at the front desk, she followed us to the elevator. When the door slid open and we got in, we heard Zara, âLola, have you gone insane?!â
My boss held the elevator door and turned to Zara. âWhatâs your problem? Canât we settle this quietly and in a less-bitchy manner?â
She was huffing as she faced him. âDonât even give me that! You know what you did! But I wonât talk about it here!â
âGood.â He released the elevator door. âAnna, Iâll meet you and Lola upstairs in a bit.â
The door closed in my face and I sighed petulantly. A got a nosy stare from the concierge which I ignored. My foot was killing me and all I wanted to do was lie down.
âHi! Iâm Omolola.â The Lola chick held out her hand and I shook it, not sure what to make of her sudden burst of energy. She looked like one of âthose girls.â You know the type that parties every night, has men taking care of her every need and dresses like sheâs a brand ambassador for a designer line. She was fine too. In a very bleached way.
âIâm Anna,â I told her.
âAnna Banana.â She giggled.
âNo. No banana. Just Anna.â
âI know.â She grinned. âBut I like Anna Banana. So! Looks like weâll be friends.â She giggled again and I wondered what she found funny. âAnd looks like weâll all be sharing the penthouse since the hotel is booked.â
What?!!!
âHa!â She laughed. âYou actually look terrified.â
The elevator door dinged open and the concierge led us to the suite. She opened the door and guided us in. She was about to start some pitch about the magnificence of the place but Lola gently pushed her out and shut the door with a very snide âthank you.â
âWhy did you do that?â I asked.
âBecause sheâd rather have your boss here than us. Didnât you see her face?â Lola kicked off her heels. âIâm thirsty!â
She headed towards the kitchen.
âWhat happened to your leg?!â I heard her ask but I didnât reply.
I started a personal tour of the place to see why it was causing all the fracas. And I must admit, it was something out of this world. Spacious indulgence was the best way to describe the three-bedroom space. It had two master bedrooms, a smaller room, and a living room; cathedral ceilings with cedar beams, skylights, hardwood floors and gourmet kitchen with stylish granite countertops. Each bedroom had custom pillow-top mattresses, lush robes in separate spa-style bathrooms and breathtaking artwork. The suite had more than I had imagined it would. No wonder my boss wanted the place.
I picked the smallest bedroom and sat on the bed to rest my foot. Lola popped in.
âNot bad for a penthouse, huh?â She asked, a glass of liquor in her hand. The other hand was taking off her thong. I just didnât know what to make of the girl and her brazenness.
âYou should change out of your skirt,â she told me.
I raised my eyes in suspicion and she laughed.
âChill. Iâm not a lesbian. You look uncomfortable in the skirt. And maybe you should remove the eyelashes too. You have beautiful, brown eyes and the lashes are hiding them.
She disarmed me with those words. No one had ever called my dirty, brown eyes beautiful.
âThanks.â
âLet me help.â She sniffed her thong, tossed it aside and walked to me. I wasnât so sure I wanted those fingers anywhere near my face but they were on me before I could protest.
Over taking off false eyelashes, helping me remove my makeup and forcing me to watch while she showered, Lola and I bonded. By late afternoon, we were seated at the front gallery, sipping on gin and juice like old friends. We heard voices in the living room and we knew our bosses were back. I got to my feet. I had missed him all day. What could he possibly have been doing with Zara?
âLet me see if he needs anythingâŚâ I began to walk away but Lola held me back.
âDonât interrupt them. Theyâre probably kissing their way into one of the master bedrooms now.â
The image she conjured tried to make its way to my head but there was no ground for it. No way in hell was my boss getting it on with that b—h. I donât know why but the picture wasnât just working for me.
âYouâre shaking your head?â Lola asked.
âDid I?â
âAbeg, sit down, Anna Banana. Allow them do the do. Itâs not today they started.â
BREAKING NEWS!!!
âAre youâŚ? Are you serious?â
Lola pulled me back to my seat.
âThis whole convention was for them to end their last fight. When theyâre done, theyâll fight again.â
âBut he told me he wanted to see her because he wanted to buy off one of her businesses.â
âYes, that too. But theyâre an off and on item. I wouldnât say item because your oga just hits it and disappears⌠but he still comes back.â
I was gobsmacked. No. It couldnât be. So Operation Displace Zara was in my head alone and to my boss, it was more like Booty Call with Zara?
I downed the drink in my hand at a go. Lola reached out and rubbed my back. I moved away.
âWhatâs that for?â
âJust consoling you. I know you have feelings for him.â
âMe?â I put my hand to my chest.
âOh, please spare me. Youâve been talking about him since we got in here and you should have seen the look on your face when I told you they were about to have sexx.â
âI canât have feelings for my boss. Itâs unethical.â
âRubbish. See, let me just tell you something: when you like someone, thereâs nothing you can do about it. If you try killing the feeling, itâll keep growing. So the best way to handle it is to tell the person how you feel.â
I stared at Lola with wide eyes. I wanted to remind her that we were referring to my employer and not some random guy I met online; but I just couldnât reveal what I felt for him. It was my secret to keep. Our little secret â he and I, and when he was ready, he would tell me he loved me.
âLola, Iâm not in love with my bossâŚâ
âAha!â she pointed at me. âCaught you! I never mentioned love.â
She was beginning to seem like the type of person you didnât argue with. I let her and her insinuations be. She milked the opportunity well and spoke long on the issue of one-sided love and its dangers. In the end, I think she convinced me to approach him. I wasnât so sure about it but the idea had been stripped of its awkwardness and now appeared to me full of promise.
Still, I said nothing to her, either in agreement or otherwise.
Friday and Saturday went by and I was glad to see that Lolaâs account about the relationship between my boss and Zara was baseless. There was nothing between them. They stayed in separate bedrooms and ignored each other at every turn. There was so much tension between them that it started to affect me too. Sunday came and I was only too glad that we were leaving the next morning. To while away time, Lola made me follow her for some shopping in town. We came back tired later in the day and went straight to bed. The bosses were conspicuously absent. By evening, Lola forced me into one of her dresses and took me out to enjoy the capital city. We visited three different bars and met new people. I drank more than my limit and when I couldnât hold it anymore, I took a cab back to the hotel.
Half-asleep, half-drunk, I entered the suite. I sauntered to the kitchen for a drink of water and fell upon a scene that broke my heart, and was at the same time, a sight for sore eyes.
Right there in the kitchen, my boss and Chizara were having sexx.
It was one of those she-on-the-table-and-he-standing encounters. They were both fully-clothed and I would have been fooled into believing nothing was happening if I hadnât heard her m*****g.
I became immobilized. They were too immersed in the act to notice they had company. A voice told me to quietly retreat but for some reason, I remained there. I watched them, starry-eyed, like a voyeur, until I began to feel weird in places that had been dormant for years. Yes, I was getting aroused, much to my shame, and God knows I am not a pervert. But the way that man was taking Zara could make a sinner out of any saint.
All of a sudden I wanted what she was having. I wanted him. And like that I saw myself on that table. I felt his hands on meâŚtasted his tongueâŚsmelled his cologne⌠really felt himâŚ
âAnna?â
Shoot!
I had been so carried away by the fantasy that I didnât notice when he turned. My mouth flew open with no words.
âGet the hell out of here!â Zara shooed me away.
âErm⌠I just⌠I came to get water to take my meds,â I murmured.
Stupid excuse! There is a water dispenser in the living room, Anna! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!
âIâm, Iâm sorry.â
I turned round and shut the door. I headed straight to my bedroom in shame, took my pain medication and buried myself under the sheets. I felt jealous and angry at Zara. She had the guts to take my place and yet speak to me as if I was some slave? And he, how could he be doing that to her while I was there? Didnât I mean anything to him anymore? Tears came to my eyes but I refused to cry. People who cried were losers and I was not one yet. He still belonged to me.
Lola came back and caught me under the sheets and I told her what happened. Of course, I still put up the front that I had no feelings for him but she was not buying it. She drilled me until I came clean. Fessing up to her (like she didnât know already), I opened up about the feelings I had carried for him for a long time. She was sympathetic and yet called me a fool for not letting him know.
âYouâll just be dying there for nothing until he marries someone else.â
I shuddered.
âDey there, you and your ethical nonsense. Look, you wonât be the first to date your boss. It happens but it wonât happen to you if you sit there like a mumu. You have to seduce him. Men love that type of thing. Seduce him and when heâs starts falling for it, you just dive in there and tell him you want him. Thatâs what Zara and the other girls do. Seduce, Anna Banana! Seduce!â
Once again, she gingered me and I felt good in my insides. Plotting graphs in my head, I went to bed, fantasizing like there was no tomorrow. The next morning, I woke up still dreaming. Dressed in a fitted dress I brought from Lagos, I ditched my walking aid and managed around in a pair of fancy slippers. The idea was to look simple, yet seductive. Somewhere in me, my actions felt all wrong but there was a romantic song playing in my head and I was too pumped to care. Too pumped to notice my boss was in a bad mood and hadnât spared a smile for me all morning and through the flight back to Lagos. Too pumped to hear his tone of voice when we got back to our hotel and he asked the chauffer to excuse us.
To me, it was just he and I alone in the world and I was going to open up to him at last.
âAnna?â he called.
âYes?â I smiled. Stupid me. Looking back now, I must have looked like a fool.
âDo you have any feelings for me?â
The music in my head stopped for a second and I blinked at him a few times as my heart went into overdrive. But Lord! Those eyes of his and the way they were staring into mine⌠I lost it again and the music resumed. Lolaâs voice was edging me on: just tell him the truth.
âI asked you a question, Anna.â
Heâs making it easy for you. That means youâre on the same page, Lola continued in my head. Donât be a mumu.
âYes. Yes sir, I⌠Iâm in love with you.â I grinned. Lola was right. There was something freeing about letting your feelings out.
Once more, I failed to notice his facial expression because I was totally consumed by a wild thought that dropped in my head from nowhere, and without running it through my reasoning process, I acted on it as I leaned toward my boss and boldly placed my lips on his with a kiss. I had caught him on the verge of saying something and so his lips were parted, and boy did I rape them with mine.
It was orgasmic! Better than I had imagined.
But the man ended my obsession with a firm hand on my upper arm, pushing me away from him. Yet and still, Anna Banana did not get the memo that she had been curved.
âGet down,â my boss instructed, âgo upstairs to your room and throughout today think of a sensible answer to give me tomorrow morning about this shameless and disrespectful act you just pulled now. If you canât come up with an answer by tomorrow, consider yourself fired.â
It was at that point that the music stopped completely and Lolaâs voice disappeared as the devil does when he puts you in trouble. Something slapped me back to reality and one look in my bossâ beautiful eyes gave me chills. The man was not playing.
I opened the door, took my suitcase from the chauffer and had my walk of shame all the way to my bedroom. I couldnât face myself. What did I just do?
I buried my head in tears as reality gave me several bites that hurt more than hell. It was hard but I came to the realization that I alone felt something for him. On his side, there was nothing. He wasnât just with Zara to while away time; he was really into her and into all the others. Everyone else but me. To him, I was just his personal assistant. I wasnât The One. I never was.
Heartbreak was an understatement to describe how I felt.
And now, I had to come up with a reason why I sexually harassed him or my job was gone. Good Lord! I was dead.
I hate you Lola!
………………….